, 90 tweets, 30 min read Read on Twitter
I recently looked at "all them rules" that the EC imposed on the UK against our will. The Brexiters also like to bewail the tyranny of the ECJ, but usually cannot cite a single judgement. So here are all 89 judgements against HMG over the last 30 years (3 per year😱). Enjoy...
1) 09-07-91 e.ur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: Unbelievable! You just moved your territorial waters further out! Did you really think no-one would notice?
UK: Ahh..soz. Ruler must have slipped, haha. Britannia "rules" the waves, wot wot!
(2) 10-10-89 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: This law you passed: "A boat ain't British if it's owned or crewed by Wogs, Frogs, Dagoes or Wops". REALLY?!
UK: They're allowed as ballast…
(3) 25-11-92 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: Look. If water is not safe for drinking, it's NOT safe for food production!
UK: Nonsense! Now't wrong wi' pond water! My old Dad swore by it. He's dead now, rest him (amoebic dysentery).
(4) 18-02-92 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: If an EU firm registers a patent in the UK, then the UK gov mustn't undermine that patent even though "that firm isn't manufacturing in the UK".
UK: Aww. We thought "use it or lose it, baby".
(5) 14-07-93 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: Blackpool beach! Christ, the state of it, FFS!! Turds piled up like pick-a-mix! Sort it out before someone gets cholera!
UK: People have caught worse than that in Blackpool...
(6) 24-03-94 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: The UK Milk Marketing Board can't just "decide" that its monopoly on whole milk also extends to skimmed milk, mother's milk and the milk of human kindness.
UK: There's no use crying over it.
(7) 8-06-94 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: Stop turning a blind'un to employers who refuse to recognize unions!
UK: Hey! Thatcher wiped out whole industries and impoverished everyone north of Watford just so we COULD ignore unions!
(8) 12-11-96 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
UK: Working time directive shouldn't apply to us. We LIKE Dr's with sleep deprivation psychosis. And if a mum refuses a Xmas shift because "kids", she DESERVES to be sacked.
ECJ: NO! (You nutters)
(9) 19-11-98 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
UK: We'd like to flood the SM with cheap Chinese toys. Thatcher destroyed our toy-makers in the '80s and now we just don't care anymore.
ECJ: Refused! (FRA, GER & SPN still LIKE having toy-makers!)
(10) 10-09-96 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: UK has (a) under-regulated UK satellite firms broadcasting to other EU members and (b) over-regulated EU firms broadcasting in the UK. V. norty!
UK: Britannia rules the AIRwaves, haw haw.
(11) 12-07-96 & 08-05-98 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
UK: We've like totally sorted the mad cow thing: can we start exporting again?
EU: No, The science is still unclear. For all we know, 52% of the UK might go insane in 20 years time…
(12) 01-10-98 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
UK: The EC haven't cleared our EAGGF accounts from 1992 re payments for beef. They say we've been naughty. Make them change their mind?
ECJ: No - you HAVE been naughty.
(13) 24-09-96 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
UK: Woah! The EC requested grant applications to combat poverty and social exclusion in the elderly - BEFORE THE BUDGET WAS APPROVED! Ha!
ECJ: OK (sigh). Invites must say: "funding not confirmed"
(14) 22-04-99 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: The UK hasn’t done enough to make sure water is safe to drink ( pesticide levels ).
UK: Swings 'n roundabouts innit? Carcinogenic and mutagenic, but at least we won't be eaten by weevils!
(15) 12-09-00 eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/…
ECJ: You need to charge VAT on toll bridges.
UK: That's a toll on business haha!
ECJ: a) Businesses claim VAT back and (b) you're not funny.
16) 05-11-02 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: The UK needs to revoke its existing bilateral aviation agreement with the USA and be part of the EU/USA agreement.
UK: That plan will never fly! Oh, okay then.
(17) 07-12-00 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You have had 9 years to do something about nitrate pollution of freshwaters and you've done NOTHING.
UK: Moan, moan, moan.. Who cares about a few fish 'n frogs for Chrissake?
(18) 14-11-2002 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Between '85 and '90 the UK failed to introduce agreed fisheries conservation measures & failed to enforce the measures it HAD introduced.
UK: That was back in the 80's. We are different now.
19) 14-11-2002 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Between '91 and '96 the UK failed to introduce agreed fisheries conservation measures & failed to enforce...
UK: Yeah… that was the Tories. Bastards. We are Labour. We are different.
(20) 24-01-02 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Everyone agreed to draw up plans regarding creation and disposal of waste - but the UK just couldn't be arsed; could you?
UK: Er... the binman collects it and takes it away somewhere? That's a plan!
(21) 18-12-2003 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: Come on! A UK inspector made a tiny mistake allocating EU farm subsidies and now the UK has to pay for it?
ECJ: The farm was located in "Narnia". And the inspector belonged to the farmer's lodge.
(22) 13-11-2001 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Your beaches are still disgusting. How do you people live like that?
UK: Oh that's just the sea air - it always smells like that.
ECJ: I think your canary just died.
(23) 30-05-02 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You've had 3 years to legislate on interoperability of the trans-European rail network. You're late.
UK: The dog ate our draft legislation, honest.
ECJ: Sigh. How long?
UK: End of the year.
(24) 23-09-03 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Jesus Aitch! Broken rules on; chemical substances, liquid fuels, noise emissions, waste packaging and deliberate release of GMO's
UK: Gosh, yeah…it was a helluva party! All coming back to me now.
(25) 07-03-02 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You've had 3 years to transpose EC 96/61/EC concerning pollution prevention and control: how's it going?
UK: Um. 90% there, honest! My little brother scribbled on it and I had to start again.
(26) 13/05/03 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Come on UK Gov - is BAA a privatised company or a Gov department?
UK: We thought we would sell it but still control it - like selling your car but keeping the keys.
ECJ: It doesn't work like that...
(28) 16-01-03 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You've implemented 98/83/EC (drinking water quality) for England, but NOT for Wales and NI.
UK: Oh, the Welsh! The Irish! They never actually drink water: drunkards and rogues the lot of 'em!
(29) 29-01-04 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Failure to take measures to protect workers and public from radiation.
UK: Unfortunately council cannot offer a defence as he recently grew a second head and is now arguing with himself in the foyer.
(30) 27-11-03 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You are late implementing the directive on Volatile Organic Compounds.
UK: Yeah, soz. We're nearly there. (Just can't seem to concentrate after painting the lounge last week)
(31) 24-06-04 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You have implemented the EU Directive on water abstraction in England, but NOT in Scotland or NI.
UK: I guess they will just have to suck it up...
(32) 16-10-2003 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You are late transposing our landfill directive into UK law.
UK: 3 years wasn't enough time. Our legislation is almost ready. We are not planning to bury it, honest.
(33) 15-07-2004 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You were supposed to prioritise disposal of waste oils by regeneration instead of tipping.
UK: Terribly sorry, but it was all so…. TECHNICAL. (BA Classical Languages, Oxon.)
(34) 12-10-2004 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Failure to comply with directive on safe disposal of hazardous waste. Don't you care about your people?
UK: TBH half of them are "Northerners"....we don't really think of them as "people" per se.
(35) 10-03-05 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You need to close down a VAT loophole: refunds on petrol for non-work trips.
UK: Come on - diddling the taxman is an age-old tradition.
(36) 16-12-04 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: More controlled waste infringements. Why are you so mucky?
UK: It's our own doorstep, we can do whatever we want on it.
ECJ: No, actually: kids play there.
(37) 13-07-2004 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You still haven't transposed the directive on requiring cars to be designed to minimise end-of-life waste.
UK: Legislation takes time! (But one day we will attempt 40 years-worth in a 6 week period)
(38) 09-02-06 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK may charge 5% VAT on overseas paintings autioned in London, but the auctioneer must pay full VAT on his commission.
UK: Woe! Alas! How can a talent-less ex-public school boy ever make a living?
(39) 21-07-2005 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: The UK is failing to make the Gibraltar's VAT staff co-operate with the Spanish Taxman. Is this to do with Spain's sovereignty claim?
UK: Bless, no! It's because we set it up as a TAX HAVEN.
(40) 07-10-04 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Ah the late Mr UK again. Railway directive due to be implemented by Sept 2003.
UK: Soz. We'll do it by April 2004, pinky-swear. It's back on track.
(41) 04-05-2006 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: We cannot believe you decided that environmental impact assessments were not required for 2 of the biggest development projects in London. WTF?
UK: The developers seemed nice.
(42) 20-10-2005 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: The conservation of habitats directive - you've watered it down and ignored some bits.
UK: Well we had to do something with all the water from our illegal abstraction schemes, har har!
(43) 6-12-05 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: The EC have issued a directive on smoke flavourings. Should have used 308 EC not 95 EC 'cos "harmonisation" not "mutual recognition".
ECJ: Huh wuwha? I thought you were busy killing Iraqi babies?
(44) 09-12-2004 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: The UK failed to ensure that an EU copyright directive got implemented in Gibraltar law.
UK: Yup. We literally couldn’t be arsed.
(45) 18-11-2004 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: The UK has been slow implementing a Directive on reorganisation and winding-up of insurance undertakings.
UK: You winding ME up, mate?
ECJ: No.
(46) 02-05-06 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: HATE this "European Information and Network Security Agency". What's it for? Cybercrime? Russia? What's Russia gonna do - hack a referendum? Hawhaw.
ECJ: Hmm.
(47) 10-11-2005 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You were late implementing the directives on interoperability of the trans-European conventional rail system.
UK: Soz - public consultation delayed (a lot of people were coming by Southern Rail…)
(48) 23-02-06 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: In 2001 we set minimum standards for treatment of refugees. UK IGNORED this and then bombed the shit out of Iraq & Afghanistan CREATING a wave of refugees. Have you literally NO shame?
UK: Not much, TBH.
(49) 07-09-06 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: We are NOT happy with UK Government advice to employers on the Working Time Directive: "PSST... if you don't tell the plebs they're allowed a break, they'll probs work until they drop!"
UK: Ahh, hoped you wouldn’t notice.
(50) 20-10-05 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: The UK recognises EU nurses, dentists, vets, midwifes, architects, pharmacists and doctors in UK, but won't make Gibraltar. WTF?
UK: We could make Gib accept every EU country…EXCEPT Spain?
ECJ: FFS
(51) 12-01-06 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Sorry UK, but even Crown developments need an environmental impact assessment.
UK: OK fair enough (but NOBODY tell Charlie the environment was ignored on a crown development, FFS)
(52) 18-12-07 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: If we can't run the agency that looks after the Schengen borders, we want the whole thing scrapped.
ECJ: But the UK isn't in Schengen.
UK: Don't care - our role is to rule.
ECJ: Nutters.
(53) 17-11-05 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK has not implemented directives aimed at conservation of natural habitats and, in particular, wild birds.
UK: Nonsense! We LOVE birds - go shooting every year!
(54) 09-11-2006 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Sending us your fish catch data about 3 years too late doesn’t really help our fisheries management, does it?
UK: Soz. Kept losing count and having to start again.
(55) 25-01-07 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Mucky beaches: Bangor, Brighton, Broadstairs, Carrickfergus, Coleraine, Donaghadee, Larne, Lerwick, Londonderry, Margate, Newtownabbey, Omagh, Portrush.
UK: We like to keep the plebs in sh1t - even on holiday.
(56) 14-12-06 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK failure to fulfill obligations on environmental noise.
UK: Sorry. Wassat you said? You'll have to SPEAK UP.
(57) 01-03-07 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK, you are way, way late implementing the Directives on waste electrical and electronic equipment.
UK: Yeah. Right. We, ah, were late because, er...reasons!
ECJ: Involving a piss-up in a brewery?
(58) 18-07-07 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: OFFS - you are STILL not protecting your people from workplace radiation!
UK: Council is still arguing with himself. (He has grown bat-wings now)
(59) 04-12-2008 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: LATE again (Directive 2003/35/EC - Drawing up of certain plans and programmes relating to the environment).
UK: Damn! - I knew there was something…hey - let's just crib it off the swotty Germans?
(60) 10-12-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK failed to subject discharges of urban waste water from Craigavon (Ballynacor and Bullay’s Hill treatment plants) and Magherafelt to adequate treatment.
UK: Soz; we thought those were all made-up names.
(61) 30-04-2009 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: It's really NOT alright to say to someone fleeing their country - one that YOU bombed the shit out of BTW - "Sorry, you've not been beaten/maimed/raped enough to be a proper refugee".
UK: Fck 'em - they're only muzzies.
(62) 22-04-10 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Air pollution from Rio Tinto's Lynemouth aluminium plant - why are you ignoring it?
UK: Coz not making 'em pay to clean it up is a cunning form of illegal state aid. (Oops - shouldn’t have said that...)
(63) 18-06-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You've failed to adopt our 2004 directive re: prevention and remedying of environmental damage. Why? What is it with you guys?
UK: Labour - 'coz we're lazy and useless / Tories -'coz our donors include major polluters.
(64) 03-09-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK was late adopting directives on insurance against civil liability in respect of the use of motor vehicles.
UK: Er… legal complications in Gibraltar. Caught between the rock and a hard case, hawhaw!
(65) 26-10-10 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: We want to access some of the benefits of the Schengen system but without any of the costs or responsibilities.
ECJ: We want to date Keira Knightley. Now Foxtrot Oscar, UK, hmm?
(66) 12-11-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You've been turning a blind'un to the need for environmental impact assessments (AGAIN). This time minerals in Wales.
UK: Christ, you don't miss much, do you?
(67) 03-09-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You are late (AGAIN) implementing port security measures. Have you tried keeping a to-do list?
UK: Soz (again)…just keep getting distracted by...stuff.
(68) 09-07-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You STILL haven't made Gibraltar accept professional qualifications from EU members.
UK: Soz - just can't seem to get around to it.
ECJ: You need to stop visiting those websites. You'll go blind.
(69) 09-07-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: LATE transposing EU ship-source pollution directive into UK law.
UK: Soz. Held up by legislation in Gibraltar (they are really short of professional staff there you know)
ECJ: Aaargghhh!
(70) 15-11-11 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Oh no, Gibraltar again. A tax regime that rewards companies that (a) have no employees, (b) do no business in Gib and (c) make no profits. Basically State Aid for tax avoiders: NO!
UK: Poo! At least we still have Cayman.
(71) 04-02-10 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: GIBRALTAR! Failure to implement Directives to prevent discrimination against women.
UK: Once we could be sexist and racist across a quarter of the globe! Gibraltar is all we have left! Please don't take it away, too.
(72) 10-12-09 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You have not implemented the air-conditioning in cars Directive?
UK: It was really hard.
ECJ: Are you GOING to?
UK: Sure - here's a quick list how.
ECJ: So it wasn't THAT hard?
UK: Ahh...
(73) 04-02-10 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Late implementing 2006 Directive on the management of waste from extractive industries.
UK: We actually enjoy sitting in piles of our waste. We find it comforting.
(74) 02-02-12 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: When assessing the component of a UK teacher's pay that's based on "how many years experience", UK employers must not discount any years spent teaching in an European school.
UK: Bah! Humbug!
(75) 18-10-12 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Discharge of improperly treated waste waters from the Beckton, Crossness and Mogden treatment plants in London. Yeeuuckk!
UK: Fish often lie on the surface of the Thames; they're just 'avin a rest.
(76) 29-11-12 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: We don’t want Gibraltar to be a sub-region of a Spanish habitat protection area (SCI). Look! BWITISH apes!
ECJ: You've been wearing your England t-shirt in your bedroom again, haven't you?
(77) 13-02-24 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK failure to provide public participation in decision‑making and access to justice in environmental matters.
UK: Public participation? Wait until '16 - you'll choke on it!
(78) 03-04-14 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: The EU missed out on £20M of tariffs on Chinese garlic because UK customs cocked-up. UK should pay.
UK: Hey, other countries have been paying for our mistakes for years - why change now?
(79) 18-12-14 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: We'd really like to be able to discriminate against Turkish people.
ECJ: No.
UK: For goodness sake! If you cannot discriminate against Turks, who can you discriminate against?
(80) 30-04-14 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: We want you to annul Council Decision 2013/52/EU of 22 January 2013 authorising enhanced Tax cooperation (its really narking some major Tory donors).
ECJ: So what?
UK: ... you'll see...
(81) 18-12-14 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You must not set a time limit on reclaiming taxes overpaid in error.
UK: No-one of importance pays tax anymore. Anyone who overpays deserves to be penalised for stupidity.
(82) 13-11-2014 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: All this shifting gains overseas to avoid paying taxes: stop it!
UK: Christ, you're really getting hot on tax avoidance….I can feel a referendum coming on.
(83) 12-11-2015 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
UK: We want to pull out of the Med-North Sea rail freight corridor; specifically extending it beyond London.
ECJ: Soz; you are committed.
UK: You think?
(84) 04-05-15 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: You cannot reduce VAT on energy saving construction materials. Soz.
UK: AT LAST! An unpopular ECJ judgement!
Voice of reason: You could always offer grants…
UK: Aaarrrgghh!
(85) 21-09-2016 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Aberthaw power station: the pollution is a disgrace.
UK: Soz - we couldn't find the place to inspect it, coz of all the smog in the neighbourhood.
(86) 14-5-17 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: Shitty waste water discharges: Gowerton, Llanelli, Banchory, Stranraer, Ballycastle, Tiverton, Durham, Chester-le-Street, Islip, Broughton Astley, Chilton, Witham, Chelmsford.
UK: Ahh.... after 29 March we can revel in it!
(87) 18-10-18 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK has not done enough to list and protect harbour porpoise habitats.
UK: Does this face look bovvered?
(88) 17-10-18 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: UK shouldn't permit the use of red diesel in pleasure craft.
UK: What if the full duty has been paid, even though it's red?
ECJ: How could you prove it wasn't un-dutied red?
UK: Ahh
(89) 10-12-18 curia.europa.eu/juris/liste.js…
ECJ: A50 may be unilaterally withdrawn, The UK Parliament has sovereignty.
UK: Fuuuuuuuuuuucccckkk!
Phew. Think I will go and have a lie-down now.
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Jim Grace #FBPE
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!