Thread by @Dreamweasel

R: Politics is a binary choice! And since Insert Name Here will murder babies, ban hamburgers, send Christians to gulags, & lead us to a socialist dystopia, I have no choice but to support Trump in 2020

D: Wait, did you actually say “Insert Name—“

R: INSERT NAME HERE FOR PRISON

HANNITY: Insert Name Here walks around with armed security! That makes INH a HYPOCRITE!

BREITBART: INH Said Nice Things About KKK Democrat Robert Byrd

🐸: INH has a gay lover & ran a pedo ring

🌹: INH is a tool of the DNC

D’SOUZA: All historians are liars

LAHREN: Snowflakes!

CARLSON: I’ll never trust Insert Name Here after he or she had lunch with Al Sharpton

JONES: George Soros & the Deep State have been bankrolling Insert Name Here from day one!

TRUMP: INSERT NAME HERE WANTS OPEN BORDERS!

GOP: (sigh) I guess Insert Name Here leaves us no choice

D: Trump lied 8,000 times, shut down the government because the Democrats said “no” to him, paid a prostitute hush money, and very likely received stolen information from the Kremlin

R: Witch hunt!

D: What if it’s true?

R: Then he’s still a better choice than Insert Name Here

FOX: Insert Name Here demands affirmative action for transgenders and will force Christians at gunpoint to tongue-kiss homosexual clergy. Coincidentally, Insert Name Here is also a vocal proponent of Sharia Law

CNN: Opinions differ on Insert Name Here

GOP: LIBERAL BIAS!!!

R: I’ll never vote for Insert Name Here, because he or she is planning for jackbooted ATF thugs to come to our houses and confiscate everyone’s guns

D: I knew we’d get to that eventually

R: How will we defend ourselves in the coming race war against MS-13 and Black Lives Matter

R: The Muslims in the Middle East want to drive Israel into the sea, which is why we can never entrust Israel’s security to a Muslim sympathizer like Insert Name Here

D: Yes, I’m sure Kushner is doing a bang-up job

TRUMP: I AM THE BEST DEALMAKER OF ALL TIME

🐸: Blood & Soil

R: Insert Name Here plans to raise taxes & expand the scope of the federal goverment, which we all know is Red Communism & will turn us into a socialist hellhole like Venezuela

D: How exactly will tariffs pay for Trump’s border wall

R: VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA VENEZUELA

D: Donald Trump has lied 9,000 times & understands jack about squat

R: I shall respond with a .GIF of Insert Name Here scowling and pointing at you

D: Weren’t you once considered “The Party of Grownups”?

R: Please enjoy this meme of Insert Name Here decked out in MS-13 tattoos

FOX: Only Trump can save us from Insert Name Here, who has made it his or her mission to feminize American men and leave them powerless against the invasion of swarthy immigrant hordes

DEMS: You can’t come to our debates

GOP: ZOMG DEMOCRATS CAN’T HANDLE OPPOSING OPINIONS

D: It seems like you’re just repeating intentionally obtuse Fox News talking points and baselessly ascribing them to the eventual Dem nominee so you’ll have an excuse to defend every last thing Trump does, no matter what

R: YOU’RE JUST MAD INSERT NAME HERE LOST

D: Too early

HANNITY: If Insert Name Here is an environmentalist, how come he or she has a private plane?

CARLSON: If Insert Name Here is against the Wall, how come there are walls around his or her house?

TRUMP: If global warming is real, HOW COME IT’S COLD OUTSIDE?

D: This never gets old

R: Insert Name Here wants the government to do everything! Whereas we firmly believe that food, shelter, clothing, medicine, & employment must be earned by hard work alone

TRUMP: FOX NEWS SAYS THE FBI IS OUT TO GET ME

R: Insert Name Here would destroy meritocracy as we know it