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It’s possible to address bad behavior without throwing someone into the bin. Not only is it possible, it’s critical, because anything less incentivizes silencing harm - large and small - to protect powerful perpetrators. Accountability tailored to transgression is not a loss.
On the small stuff, sometimes the most important part is admitting that a transgression occurred. It’s not always about punishment. It’s about validating the harm that people experience and taking steps to ensure it doesn’t occur again. It’s about changing what’s acceptable.
It’s about saying, I don’t think you meant to do this, but you did it, and I had to live with it, and I shouldn’t have had to live with it.
It’s important that we establish, publicly and with clarity, that as a standard of reasonableness this isn’t ok. If you didn’t mean it, you should be fine with that. If you’re not fine with it, maybe you did mean to do it and you want to keep doing it. The latter goes in the bin.
