Thread by @ThaPanashe

ZUVA RATAKAPINDA MUMWEYA 🙏🏾

THREAD
THREAD
THREAD

Life doesn't always go the way we want it to.
Nguva iyi me and my brother Ras had the one of worst times mukurarama kwedu.

Everything was just terrible for us from bad relationships to kushaya Mari.

One day we just decided to do something kuti timbopinda rimwe level rekunakwa, but we didn't want shrooms cz of what Happened zuva rekumarara.😂

Me:"Ras toita sei wangu"
Ras:" haa bro hameno"
Me:" ma shrooms ndirikukwata wangu ngatitsvage ZVimwe"
Ras:" weed bro, let's try weed"

Me:"weed bho here?Hatizoite mafirimu futi?
Ras:"haaa bro urikukwata here?"
Me:"handis kukwata ini"

I was trying to remind mfana uyu kuti things might go south but akandisimbisa, we went and bought weed takapihwa ka weed cake as new customers & we ate it munzira going bck home

It was around 5 pm when we got home and we started discussing on the way forward

Ras:" tikuita zvekudya or kuputa,?"
Me:" kuputa mfanami"
Ras:" weed in popcorns bro "

we decided to smoke and eat it. Takasota ma popcorns & blunts. we then went mu room and locked ourselves in.

Chamba chakabatidzwa tikatanga kubhema and paside tichirova ma popcorn nyaya dzichitsva.

Ras:" mdara life ma1"
Me:" I know bhururu, maybe it's a phase wangu"
Ras:"mmmm mdara takarambwa nemabby same time apa hatina bag tese"
Me:" ndokuti vanhu veropa rimwe wangu, suffering tese"

Apa Ras started laughing pointing a finger at me😂

Me:"ko wanakirwa nei? Apa iniwo ndakabva ndangotangawo kuseka😂"
Ras:"mdara makarambirwa kunzi muri Slim kaimi, bby rako Haris bho😂"
Me:"shaa gaya,ndozvandiri ndingadii,but idako she's fleshlistic!"
Ras:"fleshlistic?ukutiiko"

Me:"anoda zvevane flesh"

"mdara hakuna chirungu chakadaro ,wadii kungoti Aida monya😂" Ras achinakwa hake.

Me:" haaa mfanami uriwe nyarara, iwewe wakarambirwa skiri rekungosura pese pese, kwese kurambwa😂"

Apa weed was now kicking in we could feel it but everything was good

Then things took a different turn .
Out of nowhere takanzwa gate kuvhura and it was Moms.

We checked the time it was 6oclock, she was supposed to be home around 8-9pm

Ras:"ah varikudei nguwa dzino?

DZOKERAI KWAMABVA! "
Chikomana kudeedzera apa iniwo handichagone nekuseka 😂

Moms yakapinda muden,we asked each other kuti takabatwa here😂 tikasimbisana kuti tiribho no pressure.

I went to open th door,ndabata handle kuda kuvhura,bvara ramba.
Ndaedza futi ndokuramba.

I was now confused Apa Ras vanga vakangomira pamashure pangu waiting for me to open.

Me:"Ah door haris kuvhura!"
Ras:"Force bamnini, apply force"
Me:" mfanami door haris kuvhurika"

Ras akauya tikabata handle tese kwakutanga kudhonza zvehasha tichideedzera " TIVHURIREIWO TIVHURIREIWO TAKUFA".

"Vanangu chii are you okay?"
Moms kuuya padoor.

Ras achichema
"Mhamhaa the door won't open,it just won't open Ma!"

Mfana uyu zvechirungu anozozvida too much😂

Moms:"hamuna kukiya door here?"

We then looked tikaona zveshuwa kuti we had locked ourselves in tisingade kuti vanhu vapinde tichirova chamba.

Takangotarisana ndokutanga kuseka tichikinura door😂
Instead kuenda ku dining kunomhoresa moms takabaya ku kitchen tikagara

Me:"I wanna be a chef"
Ras:"shefu?Wafunga zve army"
Me:" chef wekubika mhani"
Ras:"ukuda kubikira ma general,waipa bro"

Mom:Hatiswereswe here vana imi"

Takazoenda mu living room kuti tikwazise Moms😂.Takagara paye Ini ndikatanga.

Me:"Maswera sei Mhamha"
Ras:"Maswera sei Mhamha"

Moms:" taswera, muri right right here vana imi, makuita zvedoro?

Ras:"no we are just happy

After greetings we then decided to go back ku room kwedu

Tasimuka paye and Ras kwakutsika Katsi yepaden by mistake,Katsi kwakuchema ichisvetuka ,Ras kwakusvetukawo pasofa achideedzera "DHIMONI!!".

Now paakangoti demon ndakatogaya spiritual war baba😂
I went running ku room kutotsvaga Bible 😂then came back ndichideedzera OUT OUT !!😂

Ras :"Hooo ikatsi heheheh ah shaa ma1"
Me:"Shaa ndaonawo kunge dhimoni baba, ndandakutoda kutoita bring in the holy ghost"
Ras:"but unomhanya wangu,speed yako iyi kumberi,dai wakamhanyira your ex maybe waisarambwa"

While we were talking Moms yanga yakangonyarara yakatitarisa 👀

So since we had the Bible we decided to go out kunoparidzira vanhu 😂. We left the house and went pa next door.

We didn't knock takasviko vhura nekuenda straight ku dining kwavo tiri serious tichiimba "Open the flood Gates of heaven iya yekwa Michael Smith"

Ras:" I see darkness in this place"
Me:" Preach brother Ras"
Ras:" I said I see darkness in this place Lord.
Me:"Glory Glory Glory "

Neighbor:" hakuna magetsi zve vakomana manga matii"

Apa isusu taiona kunge rima was something spiritual chikutadzisa kuti light rivepo😂

we continued...

Me:" The Bible says...."

Ras:" Yes brother yes"

Me:" The Bible also says..."

Ras:"Waal Powerful powerful"

Me:"I hope you've heard the word, Amen"

Ras:" You're God sent, let's start a church"

Now pandaiti the "Bible says.."

In my head ndaitoona ndichipedzisa kutaura mazi verse izvo zvaigumira mumusoro😂.

Chakashamisa is Ras aiita kunge pane zvaainzwawo😂.

We left our neighbors house and just started walking mu raini looking for people to preach to.

As we were walking we came across a couple holding hands and we decided to pay them a visit

Me:" wow wow wow"
Ras:"wewu wewu wewu"
Me:"huh👀"
Ras:"wow,wawu,wewu,wiwu,wowu!"
We looked at each other tikatanga kuseka😂

Ras:"I see a bright future pano & we would like to bless you

The couple was just standing there I bet thinking kuti vakakwana here Vapfana Ava.

Ras:"By the Power investments In me I pronounce you...."

Me:"power Investments? Not power vested?"

Ras:" vested? Not invested? "

Me:"mfana wakunyanya it's vested 😂,tinyarewo "

Takaitisana nharo kwekanguva then tikacheuka wanika couple yasobaya Kare😂. Bvataenda hedu paden.

Tapinda muden, got in our room and thought we didn't greet mom's. We went back out kwavari

Me:"maswera sei moms"
Ras:"maswera sei moms"
Moms:"👀"

Tikasimuka tikabaya mu room😂

Tagara manje paye pakaita ka moment of silence...

Me:" Mfanami takabatwa"
Ras:"shhhh taurira pasi "

I looked and saw Ras vakapfugama achiita kunge arikunamata , iniwo kwakupfugama paside and whispered.
"Ras takabatwa" 😂😂

Ndakasimuka ndichipinda mugudza rangu ndikasiya Ras vakangopfugama😂.

Ndaingonzwa chikomana chichiimba ma gospel tunes kusvika ndarara

Hameno kuti vakazobva ipapo kuzopinda mugudza rake nguwai.

THE END !!!

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