Thread by @MyDoncaster

In 1932, Australia declared war on some Emus.

The Emus fought back.

It’s time for another #coronavirus history lesson from Doncaster Council.

This one really is a rollercoaster, so strap in.

Now, in the interest of balance, we feel it’s important to introduce you to the two sides of this fierce battle.

In the red corner, were Australian farmers.

Farming down under can be difficult at the best of times, but the early 1930s was a VERY tough time.

Many soldiers returning from WWI were given land by the government so that they had jobs to come home to.

However, getting anything to grow in the baking heat and parched soil is very difficult. In 1929, the great depression hit and made life even harder.

Just when things apparently couldn’t get worse, the Emus arrived.

(They were in the blue corner)

These lads love NOTHING more than a big ol’ migration after mating season, and in 1931 as many as 20,000 of the bad boys rocked up to the farming lands of Western Australia.

The work the farmers had done to prepare the land for livestock inadvertently made it great for the Emus

This is where our story begins.

The Emus started doing what Emus do best – ravaging crops, roaming around freely and generally having long necks.

This was a massive problem for the farmers, whose livelihood was being taken away in front of their eyes.

Something had to be done.

In 1932, a delegation of retired-military-personnel-turned-farmers visited the Australian Defence Minister, Sir George Pearce, to discuss their plan of attack.

(It’s unclear whether the Emus also had a strategy meeting around this time – although judging by their subsequent success, we think they might have done. More on that in a second.)

Sir Pearce agreed that the Australian army would be sent in to deal with the birds.

It was decided that, obviously, the safest way to dispose of Emus, which frantically charge around in no apparent pattern (a bit like headless chickens but, you know, LARGE), was to indiscriminately fire machine guns at them and…hope for the best?

*please be aware that Doncaster Council does not condone the shooting of Emus, other large birds or, indeed, anything*

The battle was due to commence in October 1932, and it didn’t get off to the best start for the military.

Two soldiers armed with Lewis guns (like this one) arrived with 10,000 rounds of ammunition.

However, it started to rain.

The gathered Emus scattered immediately, running away in separate directions.

They can run up to 31mph, so they were gone in a flash.

On November 2nd (and on a bright, sunny, bird-massacring kinda day), soldiers opened fire on 50 Emus, but were unsuccessful as they were too far away.

All of the birds ran away in separate directions.

Later that day, though, the soldiers did manage to kill around a dozen of the birds.

On November 4th, the tacticians of the Australian military decided to ambush 1,000 Emus that had been spotted near a dam.

At the moment of surprise attack, their gun jammed.

Only 12 Emus out of 1,000 were killed.

All of the rest of the birds ran away in separate directions.

By the 4th day, the military moved south, hoping that the birds would be more tame.

However, army observers stated that it seemed each group of Emus seemed to have its own ‘leader’ – a bigger bird with thick plumage that would warn others of attack. A ‘commander’, if you will.

The Emus’ trademark ‘split up and run’ tactic was working a treat.

After 8 days of fierce, tactical battle between the might of the army and the strategic prowess of the birds, 2,500 rounds of ammunition had been fired. Estimates say that as few as 50 birds had been killed.

Thankfully, a report from Major G.P.W Meredith, who led the advance for the military, noted that the Australian army had not suffered ANY casualties.

Despite this result, after around a month of further tense battle, the army withdrew. The Emus had fought them off.

An ornithologist (bird expert) said:

“The Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla tactics, and its unwieldy army soon split up into innumerable small units that made use of the military equipment uneconomic. A crestfallen field force withdrew from the combat area.”

A subsequent SECOND advance from the military was slightly more successful, and the history books note that the efforts of the Australian army DID help the desperate farmers.

Both sides were left to reflect on a hard-fought draw.

How on earth is Doncaster Council going to link THIS one to #coronavirus, we hear you cry! Well, it seems to us that we can all take inspiration from BOTH sides during this unprecedented time.

Let us explain.

Firstly, the Australian military, and especially the resilient farmers, never gave up hope.

Despite the odds they faced, and the devilish behaviour of their opponent, they stayed strong and persevered.

Crops grew once again, and eventually the Emus left them alone.

Secondly, the Emus.

We can ALL take inspiration from these guys.

In a time of crisis, what did they do? Hang around having barbecues? Sit with their tops off on a park bench?

NO.

They split up.

They knew their best chance for survival was to separate, stay apart and wait it out.

So, that’s it – the real lesson from this incredible tale is this:

Don’t be more stupid than an Emu.

#StayHome