Thread by @paushinski

Estate WhatsApp is currently on fire... Because.

But first, recap on how we got here.

So, Ozband aka Josephat, the man of 256, the woman from House No. 256 did not return home, and instead said his car had gotten stuck on Mombasa Road, and decided to sleep at a rela in South C.

His phone was off the whole time. Came back after a whole day of people panicnking.

256 takes him to go see that rela, but my friends, apparently, that rela is actually not a rela. So 256 loses it, beats up that 'rela' and banishes Ozband from the house, to never come again.

Ozband goes and stays at Bobo's and only tells Bobo that he had a little drama with her mom.

But Bobo is who, she reaches out to the mum, with her grandma and they come in, but 256 don't wanna listen.

But we all know, the way to a woman's heart is a brand new wine red Benz.

256 accepts it as an appropriate form of apologies.

So 256 accepts mandem into her arms, and half way into her heart. Si ndio?

Haya. So now we have an extra car in an estate where our biggest problem has always been water, parking, house parties, stray cats & wifi.

Yes. Wifi.

The main wifi problem is a story for next week. Because that drama never ends.

So people are asking themselves why 256 is all of a sudden happy with Ozband and are now walking hand in hand in the estate when the general agreed assumption is that Ozband is guilty of a charged.

But si ndio ni kuvumiliana na kusameheana. Kama kuna noma, tukae tutatue na gifts za 'I'm sorry nikuletee.'

And besides, they have 2 amazing daughters, a grand daughter, plus a Luo son in law. As in what more would you a person ever want in this life?

Ama namna gani my friends.

THE FOLLOWING DRAMA TAKES PLACE ON TUESDAY, APRIL 28, 2020.

256 posts on the Estate WhatsApp group.

256: Hallo majirani. As you all have noticed, I just bought a brand new car, a wine red mercedes Benz. You may have noticed it, but if not, it is parked right outside my gate.

As such I am selling almost new harrier for anyone one interested. I wanted to share with you here before I share it outside the estate. Please call me or whatsapp me if you want to look at it and test drive it within the estate. Have a good day.

108: How much is it going for?

256: [@ 108] Don't worry.

188: Ati brand new? What is the year of manufacture?

256: [@ 188] Please follow instructions. Call me or whatsapp me.

188: But you posted it here. You did not whatsapp me alone. What if I don't have airtime.

256: Hauna airtime but want to know price?

188: I am contesting the 'almost new' claim. That is all I want to know about the car.

256: [@ 188] Dear neighbor, don't waste our bundles.

108: Hiyo gari mzee kunishinda. Mkebe ya 1988.

256: Hii mkebe ya 1988 ata ukupatiwa my son, where will you park it. It can't fit an SQ.

Enter Mr. 178.

Mr. 178: Can we see a photo of the car.

A moment of silence.

256: [Posts a picture] That is the car.

188: Wow, is that the car? It looks great. You have maintained it well.

108: [Posts a picture] That is the car.

Mr. 178: We will come and see the car later.

256: You're welcome. What time should I expect you?

Mrs. 178: [@ 178] Who is we?

Mr. 178: I will come and see the car later. Around 4pm.

256: That will be great. I also need some help from you. Considering you own a Mercedes. I know mine is newer, I need help understanding it.

Mrs. 178: You actually do not need help. But if you want, I can show you a few things.

256: It's ok. Thank you for the offer, but I prefer a man. So, [@ Mr. 178] I will wait for you at 4pm. Please wear a mask.

Kidogo Silence.

Mr. 178: Sorry [@ 256], I won't be available at 4.

256: It's ok. I understand. When we you come check the Harrier.

Mr. 178: I am not sure. But I will call you. My wife will be available to check it out, and help you with the Mercedes. She's actually well versed in the car.

256: It's ok. I'll just call DT Dobie.

Mr. 178: Great.

188: I have just checked. That car is a very old model. Maybe 2004 latest.

108: Wow, gari zingine ukaa imebeba magunia Super Highway ya kutosha.

188: This one should be 150K / 200K at most.

Intercessor Woman: We really need to pray for Kenya at this time. [Shares a forward]

Shosh: [Shares same exact forward] [Deletes] Sorry. Wrong group.

Anyway so the drama continues as should and everything is quiet.

At 4:00pm
Mr. 178.
Wheres his track suit.
Goes to 256.
Proceeds to kagua both cars.
Is caught by wifey.
Wifey now has to burn down the whole Estate.

Now we don't know what happened.

WEDNESDAY MID MORNING.

256 posts in the group.

256: Thank you [@ Mr. 178] I have learn a lot so much about cars from you today. GBU.

Mr. 178: Thank you and you are always welcome.

[Mr. 178 deletes message.]

108: Buuuuuuuda!

188: Tuliza.

Immediately.

Gava Guy: We have a few boxes of masks and sanitizers in the house for anyone in need.

Ozband: Thank you, we can distribute those through the committee.

Gava Guy: I will send them over to the Treasurer's house.

256: Thank you Waziri. Let me come collect them now.

So today, 256 went and parked the new car in front of 254's gate. 254 has only one car.

So 254 asked her to move the car but she said she needs the parking more.

Caveat: Each house has 2 car parks, inside their gates. Extra cars park outside at open grounds on first come basis.

So 254 posts the picture of the car and asks the owner to remove her car or she will remove it herself. It's like 6:30pm huko.

256: Argh... Nitaitoa asubuhi.

254: I need you to remove it now.

256: Kwani saa hii unaenda wapi na kuna curfew. Please be considerate and understand.

254: I said remove that car from my gate right now. There is enough space in extra area, you do not need to park your car in front of my gate without my asking.

256: My car cannot go to the guest parking area.

254: Then put it in your bedroom. Or your kitchen. Remove it now.

256: I am already in my night dress.

254: The wear a suit.

108: Give me the key I can move it?

188: But why take someone's parking without asking? Hii Estate inaboo.

254: If you cannot move your car tell somebody else to do it. But I need it cleared off my front gate now.

256: I only trust [@ Mr. 178] with my car. [@ 254] if you can go ask him to move it, I can give him the key.

254: That is not my work. Mimi ni toke hapa niende huko kwote Phase II kuomba mtu akuje aku songeze gari?

Silence.

188: Some people are not worthy of a Mercedes Benz.

108: Imagine gari inaoshwa kila usiku na jioni kama mgonjwa. Ata siku ile hakuna maji.

188: [@ 108] Hii gari ikifika July itashonewa mpaka sweater isisikie baridi.

Intercession Lady: [Shares a forward] Let us pray for the nation of Israel.

254: Are you going to move the car?

256: [@ Mr. 178], if you can help us, please help us move the car.

Mrs. 178: He is not available.

So 256 asks 254 if the car can be moved in the morning. 254 asks why? 256 says person who moved it there isn't available.

Guys do you know who moved it and is not available?

YES.

254: This is the last time I am letting you park in front of my gate.

256: Please calm down. [@ Mr. 178] will be teaching me how to manoeuvre the car tomorrow and will park be able to move it myself.

Mrs. 178: Ehe?

256: He offered a simple driving lesson for me and [@ Ozband].

Mrs. 178: Please call DT Dobie.

256: This Estate, can we be nice loving people?

Mrs. 178: Yes please.

256: Please talk to your husband.

Mrs. 178: Please talk to yours.

256: Goodnight.

Mrs. 178: You too. I will see you tomorrow.

The wine red Benz is still in front of 254.

Fam, thanks for being here. May we know joy. May laughter & gladness never leave you.

Sendings special prayers up for @JILLKUI who is riding a tough storm in an already crazy time.

May the sun shine perfectly for you & your family. May you multiply & flourish forever and ever.