This is my personal, first-hand experience of COVID19 testing in the UK at a Regional Test Site. A thread. #COVID19 #Covid19UK (1/31)
I never expected to be the first person I knew to have a COVID19 test, so I was surprised to get an email inviting me to take one. Here in the UK testing is relatively scarce, accessible only to frontline health workers / people with severe symptoms. I’m neither. (2/31)
The email stated the UK Department of Health was inviting me to have a PCR swab test to confirm whether I was currently positive or negative. I was chosen as I was using the COVID Symptom Study app, developed by @KingsCollegeLon and health science company @Join_ZOE (3/31)
Using the app I’d reported a particular symptom they were interested in; testing would help develop a better understanding of which symptoms are most related to C19 infection. Testing could occur either by home test kit or by visiting a regional test site, aka RTS. (4/31)
I was advised to book ASAP by clicking a link which took me to the govt testing website. The first thing I discovered was my preferred option of a home test kit wasn’t possible due to “NONE AVAILABLE”. (5/31) 
To be fair, the email had warned demand was high, and capacity is released at the start of each day; so, I tried again at just past midnight, and 4am, and 7am, and 9am, but every time the home test kit option showed as “not available”. (6/31)
So, I selected to visit a Regional Testing Site (RTS) which is only available to people with access to a private vehicle. You can’t arrive on foot / by public transport. Onscreen confirmation stated a medical professional would take a swab sample from my nose + throat. (7/31)
As a friend pointed out, this could be a better option than a home test as a medical professional would presumably be trained and therefore able to perform the swab with greater efficacy compared to a member of the general public with zero clinical expertise. (8/31)
I attended the next day, arriving on time. The advance info had said people arriving early/late could cause problems with congestion but as I arrived, the RTS and the roads around it were practically empty. I found this strange as I thought it would be busy. (9/31)
On entry, I was first in line. Multiple signs stated “KEEP WINDOWS CLOSED” – which made sense. A man in yellow Hi-Vis jacket + mask knocked on my window and pointed. I showed my printed confirmation with QR code, but he shook his head and pointed through my window again. (10/31)
I thought he might be pointing at my ignition, so I turned the engine off in case this would help communication. The man shook his head again. I said loudly “What are you asking me to do?”. The man responded “Wind down your window”. (11/31)
Seriously? Was he joking? (12/31)
I mean seriously, what the shit? There are at least three signs nearby saying “KEEP WINDOWS CLOSED” but he’s telling me to wind down my window. In typical, polite, compliant, English fashion, I am frustrated to admit I did as I was told. (13/31)
Hi-Vis man leans down, placing his head near the gap made by the now partially opened window. He looks into my car. “You’ve got no dashcams have you?” he queried. “No photos or videos are allowed to be taken onsite” he cautioned. WTF!? I’m feeling uncomfortable now. (14/31)
I indicated I understood. Hi-Vis man then tells me the tests are all “self-administered” and contrary to the information provided ahead of time, there was to be no medical professional who would do the swabbing. No explanation was given. I was told to drive forwards. (15/31)
At the next checkpoint I was given a testing kit in a plastic bag and a 9 page instructions document, along with a complicated verbal explanation lasting two minutes. The document was stapled in the top-RIGHT, further complicating the process of reading it in order. (16/31)
I drove onward, ending up on a sports-field sized tarmac rectangle containing 1000s of cones, but zero directions, and no marshals to be seen anywhere. Unsure of where to go, and with no other vehicles/people nearby, I headed for a cluster of 4 cars in the far distance. (17/31)
I pulled up by the other cars and then spotted a group of 4 marshals sitting in front of them on deck chairs, all staring intently at mobile phones but not doing anything. I parked and looked at the 9 page document, which started by telling me to read it all through. (18/31)
Folks, this document weighs in at over 2000 words, contains up to 26 separate steps (counting charitably) and refers to 7 different pieces of testing kit. At no less than 9 separate places, warning boxes in HAZARD RED indicate IMPORTANT INFORMATION. (19/31)
I am fortunate to have had a good education, I’m a graduate of Oxford University, but I’ve got to admit I found following all the steps challenging, so I suspect many others will find the same, leading to possible incorrect results from procedural fails. (20/31)
The document also mentioned that I should use hand sanitiser, a tissue, and an antiseptic wipe, none of which were actually supplied as part of the kit, or mentioned ahead of time as being things I should bring. (21/31).
Reading and doing the test took 20 mins. Throughout there were never more than 6/7 cars present, with arrivals/departures occurring roughly every 3 mins. Most of the vast area was desolately empty. I had anticipated queues and a hive of activity, but the place was barren. (22/31)
Having completed my test to the best of my ability, I moved to the final checkpoint. Hi-Vis man #3 spotted a few errors I’d made – I’d forgotten to insert Tube E into Bag C, before inserting them both into Bag G. Errors corrected, I dropped my test into the offered bin. (23/31)
And that was it – I drove off, somewhat bewildered by what I had just experienced. Despite all the claims being made about “ramped-up testing” of 100,000 people a day, it remains very difficult to get a test, yet the testing site I visited was largely empty. (24/31)
At the rate I witnessed, at an RTS in the highly populated urban area of Gatwick in SE England, I calculate they’d be achieving only c. 500 tests/day. Less than 50 of these sites exist in UK so if my experience is typical this extrapolates to only 24,000 tests/day at RTSs (25/31)
Home test kits aren’t available. So while the RTS that I visited seems able to accept far more visitors, it seems likely that the constraint is the availability of the test kits themselves. (26/31)
The UK govt claimed in early April they’d test 100,000 people / day by month end. They subsequently changed the wording, saying that they’d process 100,000 tests / day instead. They then trumpeted this had been achieved. But that’s not true. (27/31)
Meanwhile, the reality is entirely at odds with the promises. Home Test Kits are said to be available, but they are not. RTS are said to offer swab tests done by medical professionals, but you actually self-test, and staff are low-paid workers with no medical training. (28/31)
These staff, who I believe are employed by a private contractor (not NHS), contravene social distancing rules and onsite signage, but have been carefully briefed to strictly ensure visitors don’t communicate their experience to others by taking photos or video. (29/31)
I found the entire experience extremely troubling. Our government has been making promises on a daily basis that are often at best only half-truths and at worst provably barefaced lies, while trying to prevent the true story from being told. (30/31)
But hey, on this Victory in Europe weekend, instead of celebrating the bravery of earlier generations by using our freedoms to confront and deal with the truth, we are instead encouraged to be patriotic, to deny the truth, and to quietly eat our cake. (31/31)
Epilogue: THANK YOU to all of the people in the NHS. Similarly, thank you to all key workers in schools, and all our public services, and essential workers in supermarkets and elsewhere for your bravery & commitment to keeping the country running. (BONUS/31) #NHS #BorisHasFailed
