Let's talk about... "Subs have all the power in D/s"
As always: this is my opinion, yours may vary, there are no rules, please keep 6ft away from this tweet at all times.
"Subs have all the power" is a popular phrase, often used to dispel the myth that Dominants can...
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As always: this is my opinion, yours may vary, there are no rules, please keep 6ft away from this tweet at all times.
"Subs have all the power" is a popular phrase, often used to dispel the myth that Dominants can...
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do what they want and subs have no say. However, both are inaccurate.
The intent behind the phrase, to show that subs *can* stop what is happening at any time, is true; but saying that a sub has more power than their Dom (generally) isn't.
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do what they want and subs have no say. However, both are inaccurate.
The intent behind the phrase, to show that subs *can* stop what is happening at any time, is true; but saying that a sub has more power than their Dom (generally) isn't.
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D/s is a "power exchange". Each party hands control to the other - the sub hands control of their being to their Dom, and the Dom hands control of their desire to the sub. The key is that ANYONE in a scene can safeword and stop.
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D/s is a "power exchange". Each party hands control to the other - the sub hands control of their being to their Dom, and the Dom hands control of their desire to the sub. The key is that ANYONE in a scene can safeword and stop.
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The misconception - and, I believe, the source of the myth that subs are in charge - is that it's the Dominant who wants the scene to happen, and it's the sub allowing it. The reality is that both parties want it to happen. Equally.
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The misconception - and, I believe, the source of the myth that subs are in charge - is that it's the Dominant who wants the scene to happen, and it's the sub allowing it. The reality is that both parties want it to happen. Equally.
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Put another way, yes, a Dominant needs a submissive to be Dominant over and to fulfil their desires. However submissives need to submit to someone to be able to fulfil their needs of serving or being used. They need each other.
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Put another way, yes, a Dominant needs a submissive to be Dominant over and to fulfil their desires. However submissives need to submit to someone to be able to fulfil their needs of serving or being used. They need each other.
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Another misconception is that it's Dominants who "hunt down" submissives, as if they're lions hunting prey. Any professional Dominant, male or female, will tell you it's the opposite - submissives beg, grovel and plead with us to be allowed to serve.
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Another misconception is that it's Dominants who "hunt down" submissives, as if they're lions hunting prey. Any professional Dominant, male or female, will tell you it's the opposite - submissives beg, grovel and plead with us to be allowed to serve.
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As much as a sub can say "enough", so can a Dominant if their submissive is trying to take things too far - this does happen. Just as subs don't always want to submit, Doms don't always want to Dom.
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As much as a sub can say "enough", so can a Dominant if their submissive is trying to take things too far - this does happen. Just as subs don't always want to submit, Doms don't always want to Dom.
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Finally, it's exactly this equality which is the real key - not someone having more power or "real" power. If someone wants to play with you, but only on their terms and with everything biased towards them, think carefully.
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Finally, it's exactly this equality which is the real key - not someone having more power or "real" power. If someone wants to play with you, but only on their terms and with everything biased towards them, think carefully.
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So to recap:
- Subs don't have all the power
- Doms don't have all the power
- It's a power exchange, not a power monopoly
- Unbalanced dynamics are risky
But as always - you do you, this is simply my take and discussion is welcomed!
So to recap:
- Subs don't have all the power
- Doms don't have all the power
- It's a power exchange, not a power monopoly
- Unbalanced dynamics are risky
But as always - you do you, this is simply my take and discussion is welcomed!
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