Thread by @justice_arman

DM: The dragon rakes her claws across your unconscious ally, hissing "You underestimate me!"

PALADIN: ha! I've faced worse, old wyrm.

DM: she's pretty evil dude ngl

PALADIN: psh. i touch my fallen comrade and cast revivify

DM: She counterspells it

PALADIN: she what

#dnd

DM: she counterspells your revivify

PALADIN: she can cast spells??

DM: [nods]

PALADIN: holy moly you weren't kidding she IS evil

DM: i told y'all

PALADIN: [player gets up from table and starts to contemplate their choices]

#dnd

PALADIN: [turns around]
PALADIN: can she do that more than once??

DM:

PALADIN: how many spells does she have???

DM:

PALADIN: i only have one diamond left
PALADIN:
PALADIN: what if she counterspells it again?

DM:

PALADIN: WHY ARE YOU BEING SO QUIET RIGHT NOW?

#dnd

PALADIN: it's okay it's okay we still have the resurrection scroll

CLERIC: I was actually saving that for the bard.

PALADIN: whoa whoa, you DIED??

BARD: yeah remember she bit me in half

PALADIN: i thought that was your LUTE.

BARD: nah man remember we were all screaming

#dnd

DM: The dragon grins, lightning sparking from her tongue. Bits of the bard stick out from between her teeth.

PALADIN: you gotta stop

BARBARIAN: [player sits with hands over mouth, hat down]

PALADIN: [places hand on shoulder]
PALADIN: we're gonna get through this buddy

#dnd

BARBARIAN: is this what i've been doing to people...

PALADIN: now is not the time to dwell on such things

BARBARIAN: ...that family of halflings...

PALADIN: shhh

PALADIN: [gestures at DM]

PALADIN: one problem at a time

#dnd

DM: The dragon lowers her head, eyes wide. The earth trembles beneath her.

DRAGON: what's wrong? has the dread finally set in? the hoplessnessss?

PALADIN:

DRAGON: where is your god now, paladin?

PALADIN: "He's here."

PALADIN: i would like to use my Radiant Soul

#dnd

DM: Your begin to eyes glow, two white beams of holy light. Angelic, incorporeal wings sprout from your back, shedding bits of gold as they emerge.

PALADIN: i look at the cleric

PALADIN: "Let's get our friends back."

CLERIC: "And slay this wyrm!"

BARD: i gurgle

#dnd

PALADIN: i fly up to the dragon and slash her with my sword

DM: Make your attack roll

PALADIN: 23!

PARTY: [cheers]

PALADIN: i would like to divine smite

DM: She roars in defiance as your blade cuts across her eye

PALADIN: "Where is your god, now?"

#dnd

DM: suddenly, her tail clashes against your plate armor, like a truck hitting you from behind

DM: Cleric, it's your turn

CLERIC: I use the resurrection scroll on the bard

DM: Bard, your lower half materializes again. You awake to see Cleric's face.

BARD: oh thank gods

#dnd

BARD: "Did we win?"

CLERIC: "Not yet."

DM: Meanwhile, the dragon opens her maw, revealing a swirling, crackling mass of blue lightning.

BARD: holy shit please put me back

DM: your turn Bard.

BARD: bardic inspiration on the meat shiel⁠—er, paladin

#dnd

BARD: can I reach the Barbarian?

DM: hm. 5 feet off, but what the hell, sure.

BARD: gimme the diamond mate

PALADIN: but you can't use it

PALADIN: ...unless

BARD: [smiles]

PALADIN: was Revivify your other magical secrets pick??

BARD: only one way to find out

#dnd

PALADIN: I open my palm, letting the diamond fall to the ground

DM: The dragon's tail hovers overhead, like an enormous serpent, ready to strike.

BARD: tuck and roll!

DM: make an acrobatics check

BARD: ...16?

DM: the tail crashes into the sand, narrowly missing you

#dnd

BARD: I cast Revivify on the barbarian

DM: as you cast the spell...

PALADIN: [tight butthole]
BARBARIAN: [sweats]

DM: ...the barbarian breathes once more

PARTY: [cheering]

BARBARIAN: "did we win?"

BARD: "Not yet, buddy. Time to get angry."

#dnd

DM: lightning shoots from the dragon's mouth. For a moment, all you can see is flashes of blue and white. The sand around you is suddenly turned to glass from the heat.

DM: Paladin, make a dex save

PALADIN: ...14

BARD: don't forget your inspiration

PALADIN: nvm, 21!

#dnd

DM: you fly out of the path of the lightning, yet a portion of the beam arcs across your metal armor

DM: 27 lightning damage

PALADIN: i'm down

DM: you fall out of the sky, taking 1 failed death saving throw

PALADIN: do your worst, wyrm

BARBARIAN: i would like to rage

#dnd

BARBARIAN: i grab my javelin of lightning

CLERIC: uhh

BARBARIAN: just kidding

CLERIC: whew

BARBARIAN: i grab Ole Reliable and charge the dragon

#dnd

BARBARIAN: gonna run up the tail like Fred Flinstone

DM: pretty sure he goes the other way

BARBARIAN: not this time

DM: you leap onto the wyrm's back

BARBARIAN: seems like as good a time as ever to recklessly attack

DM: this does indeed seem reckless

#dnd

BARBARIAN: [rolls]
BARBARIAN: ahem i believe that's a crit

DM: the good kind?

BARBARIAN: yiss

DM: let's see that brutal critical

BARBARIAN: [rolls fistful of damage]
BARBARIAN: that's uhh
BARBARIAN: maths...

CLERIC: oh dear god let me help you count

#dnd

CLERIC: 37 damage

BARBARIAN: +3 for rage

DM: how would you like to kill the dragon?

BARBARIAN AND BARD:

BARBARIAN: old fashioned head chop

DM: you decapitate the wyrm; lightning arcs from its open neck

BARD: looks like it got a-head of itself

DM: a blue, spectral apparition emerges from the dragon's corpse. it darts across the desert into the night

CLERIC: that ain't good

#dnd

BARD: i stabalize the pally

DM: rule of cool, he gets 1 hp

PALADIN: "Did we win?"

CLERIC: for now, it looks like.

PALADIN: we underestimated her

PALADIN: [drops head back into sand]

------

THE END! 😊