Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I regret I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Trump declares ANTIFA a terrorist organization, and also vows to track down the founder of BIRDWATCHERS and CEO of LEFTHANDEDPEOPLE.
2. Trump has police gas protesters so he can hold up a bible and get some Cool Ranch Doritos.

3. After turning off WH lights and hiding in the underground bunker Trump says he was simply doing a quick bunker inspection and making sure the "Eagle's Nest" name plaque had been installed.
4. Ivanka unveils her new line of robotic propaganda dolls just in time for graduation.

5. Rex says racism is a hoax, Stockwell says he's faced racism, and Brett Wilson lights his reputation on fire with a Twitter tiki torch.
6. MacKay supports protesters by enjoying a frosty-cold glass of milk and sporting a fun-filled milk moustache.
7. Mike Pence hides under bed.

8. Wednesday, Doug says racism isn't a problem. On Thursday he says "it absolutely is a problem". On Friday he says more money for police and less for social programs is how he'll stamp out racism.
9. Lecce vows to "close the Digital Divide!" by spending more time at the cottage.

10. UCP's Adriana LaGrange goes all Karen on school boards because they didn't invite her to grad ceremonies and she's always wondered what high school grad was like.
11. Kenney says stamping out racism is his first priority, once his bill to make protesting illegal gets passed.

12. Doug says $14B from Feds isn't nearly enough for him and Jason to bankroll all their lawsuits against the Feds.
13. UCP introduces bill allowing police to decide at roadside stops whether they should charge UCP MLAs with impaired driving.
14. "Pipeline! Pipeline! Pipeline!"

15. UCP loses its collective mind when Notley posts pics of new puppy on Facebook. UCP says they can't compete with the cuteness levels because all they have is pics of Brock W Harrison.
16. RVs and fishing lodges are the new poor in Alberta.
17. Rempel finally reported missing.

18. Former UCP Chair says people misinterpreted his “Don’t bring this to Canada you f***in loser.” tweet. That's it. That's the funny part.
19. Protests across Canada take place with no reports of violence. Trump criticizes Canadian police for not doing their job to cause riots.

20. One Conservative politician took part in Canadian anti-racism protests. She plans to return to the private sector after the next election, yes.
21. Derek Sloan says Trudeau is abusing children by not allowing them to attend "Derek Sloan's Magical Gay Conversion Summer Camp."

22. Doug forbids Global's Travis Dhanraj to ask questions at press conferences. Ford says he's busy enough not answering any questions during Question Period.
23. Ford Nashun is waving angry Twitter fists at Doug for not reopening province fast enough. Doug makes S'Mores video.

24. Millions of Trump supporters declare they hate people who are against fascism.
25. World-crippling pandemic, rampant police brutality, blatant fascism, and heavily-armed rednecks. Quentin Tarantino is uber-jealous 2020 wrote the movie treatment first.