Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Kenney says the McDonalds he opened last year shouldn't be prevented from offering dine-in service just because a few 82-year-olds have the sniffles.
2. Doug re-opens Ontario economy by encouraging families to flock to testing centres.

3. Merrilee Fullerton outraged the NDP and media knew how bad things were in Ontario's LTC facilities and didn't do anything about it.
4. Doug says he's "tired of taking bullets for the unions." Says he can't decide if all this union gangbanging burns him up or breaks his heart.

5. Adriana LaGrange says many lower income Alberta families send their kids to private school. Says she's visited their garages and seen it firsthand.
6. UCP collects Emergency Wage Subsidy, saying it's the only way they could pay staff responsible for complaining about the Feds.

7. Lecce announces "kids can go get their textbooks back now!" now that he and Oosterhoff have had time to scribble over all the naughty pictures in their Sex Ed books.
8. Lecce travels back in time to April to deliver masks to an LTC this week.
9. #FireLecce #FireFullerton

10. MacKay announces he'll be "the Prime Minister of jobs" and his first job will be to figure out how to become a sitting MP.
11. O'Toole announces he'll spend millions to launch a Royal Commission to investigate where all the millions went to help Canadians during a pandemic.

12. Three months into the lockdown Ontario's LTC Minister tweets a meme saying the best thing you can do is stay away from LTCs. That's it. That's the funny part.
13. Doug announces batting cages will open this week, saying Ford Nashun needs a way to work off all that cheesecake.

14. Doug announces his government will take over management of 5 long-term care facilities because his government knows how to get things done; then drives off in his blue-plated SUV.
15. Conservatives outraged that Trudeau prorogued Parliament again. No. Wait. That's not right.

16. Conservative MPP Raymond Chong sends cardboard cut-out of Raymond Chong to a mask delivery photo opp with one of the "much needed masks!" taped to the cutout. That's it. That's the funny part.
17. Canadian woman in Central Park strangles her own dog to fight off birdwatcher.

18. Melania tweets "Non-violent protest is best." When asked, says she's never heard of this Kaepernick fellow. Asks if he was President before Obama.
19. Trump says if Twitter is regulating his free speech then they must also clamp down on China, Arby's and Taylor Swift too.

20. Kenney introduces bill to see protestors fined up to $25K and sentenced to six months in jail. Says intent of the bill is to ensure democracy is upheld for all O&G execs.
21. Alberta Energy Minister Sonya Savage sings "Pandemic times is fine, fine pipeline buildin' times."

22. One man kneels on the astroturf and loses his career. Another man kneels on another man's throat and the paperwork gets lost in the shuffle. Makin'. Amurikah. Great.
23. Asked about all the unrest in his country, Trump says his golf game is suffering.

*Correction: Raymond Cho.

My apologies to both real Mr. Cho and cardboard Mr. Cho.