Thread by @QuinnyPig

One of the silver linings of @awscloud suing @IsForAt is that they file all sorts of things that are public, but have not gone through PR.

You may wish to mute this thread if the sight of (rhetorical) blood disturbs you; it's brutal.

Over 200 pages have been filed with the court; I've read through them so you don't have to.

My rule has always been "I don't ever quote @awscloud employees without either their permission, or getting it from published things." This is definitely published.

Man, @awscloud is spilling ALL of its corporate secrets in this filing. I had no idea that they had anything resembling a pricing strategy!

One time I played tabletop hockey with @IsForAt at a bar; I'd assumed I was helping with the ALB pricing.

I would like to know how the Duckbill Group achieves the “mentioned in court filings” tier of analyst fame, please.

Scratch that. I would like @awscloud to begin actually advertising my services in its court filings please.

I’m not at all impressed with these @awscloud personal attacks against @isforat. “21 weeks to write the reInvent keynote” is clearly a slur; “OH CRAP IT’S THANKSGIVING, TIME TO START” is more accurate.

Wow. I've joked that if you wanted @Azure to make a change you’d lobby @gartner_inc to care about the thing you want, but @awscloud actually does exactly this!

"95% of new AWS features come from customer requests. Of those customers, 90% of them are Gartner."

Wait, Dr. Matt Wood spent five years as @awscloud’s GM of Product Strategy? How the hell does a Post-It note with 'yes' written on it earn a doctorate?!

Citation very much needed. This is a story companies tell to analysts, but it doesn’t pan out in real customer decision making. At best they’ll use a specific provider’s single ML service API for some ML things—it doesn’t dictate where their other cloud workloads go.

Gonna have to disagree here. The @awscloud DeepLens was interesting from a marketing perspective, but after attempting to work with one? It’s a disappointing flop of a product that's incredibly challenging to work with. If they're at the forefront, it's a losing race.

“AWS doesn’t focus on the competition” my ass.

I am saddened to report that @awscloud will be releasing more ML products.

I would be very interested in comparing @awscloud’s perception of successes and misses with my version of same.

I’ve been asking how @awscloud analyzes the success of various initiatives before, always without answer. Apparently all I had to do to find out was get them to sue somebody!

If you think this thread is funny, I’d bet it doesn’t hold a candle to @awscloud’s own analysis of why customers do the things they do.

Remember, the *ONLY THING* @isforat is being accused of is "taking a job with @gcpcloud." @awscloud isn't alleging he's done anything unethical!

This is apparently what AWS is going to such great pains to prevent in the short term: editing slides.

Wait I’m sorry @awscloud employs HOW many marketers again?

Really? Insulting the man’s appearance now?

No. It isn’t. I see more shade thrown at competitors in re:Invent keynotes than I do at Cloud Next by a lot. @gcpcloud keynotes mostly talk about capability, not the competition.

Two things.
1. I wouldn’t do a half-bad job at nailing every one of these bullet points based solely on paying attention to @awscloud externally.
2. If someone did check all of these bullet points, the real winner across the board would be customers.

No, he absolutely could not go work on Chromebooks. That’s the point. The non-compete is scoped to all of Amazon. If @isforat had a single conversation with someone in the Kindle group, this could in fact trigger... an @awscloud noncompete suit!

Why is "in a court filing" the only place @awscloud is apparently capable of defining "the Cloud" in any less than 45 minutes and four dozen slides?

My suspicion is confirmed: @awscloud (and frankly, all companies) don’t actually understand their own brands / how their customers see them.

Today I learned that I’m one of @awscloud’s most important and strategic customers.

Note that @awscloud doesn't many any claims in any filing ever that @isforat knows the first thing about @gcpcloud's core competency of deprecating things.

Strip out the product specific details and you'd be hard pressed to differentiate any reInvent keynote from another for the past five years. It's the same talking points every time. That's not inherently bad, but...

...and @awscloud still missed a couple, but I'll leave that for Real Journalists(tm) to uncover.

But probably my favorite line in all of this comes from Dr. Matt Wood, @awscloud VP of Artificial Intelligence:

Thank you for providing us with @awscloud re:Invent's new subtitle; it is *glorious*.

I will now argue with people in the comments.