Thread by @zeal_a

Imagine that like @yinkanubi you have a favorite amala joint on your street but on one day, you crave an exotic meal.

You drive 2hours, go past a great pounded yam bukkas, go past Ghana high & others like it & even an amazing Jamaican restaurant.

But you crave what you crave

You then land at this amazingly decorated restaurant that has everything you dreamed of on its menu

But when you order prawn cocktails or pan seared salmon or Steak au poivre, one by one, you’re told that what you want is “out of stock” then you’re told that all they have is...

Yes...they only have amala & stew. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with amala and stew but hell no, you didn’t drive 2hrs to eat what is on your street. You didn’t forsake all the other places to end up here for just this. The dissatisfaction is going to be epic & exaggerated

You could’ve walked down the road and had exactly this and saved 4hrs of driving, you could’ve stopped long the way and had something slightly better. After all this, you get the most basic!

Understandably, You’ll be quite angry and complain much more than normal

This is exactly what happens to many people when they get married. The issues people have in marriage aren’t usually as catastrophic as they make it out to be nor unique nor unusual, but having such high expectations while single, having given up seemingly better options..

Having waited such a long time, having craved and imagined all sorts, you find out, too late, that you are left with what you could’ve had earlier, easier and with much less sacrifice.

The product isn’t the issue to be managed, your expectations is!

I’m by no means asking you to lower standards! I’m only trying to show that the state of dissatisfaction was built over a long period of expectation, anticipation, then ultimately, realizing that you should’ve just had the amala down the road. Afterall, it was hunger doing you🤣

Sometimes it just takes focus on what exactly you want out of life. Do you NEED the glitz & glamour? do you really NEED the effizzy? Do you realise some things are part of the journey? Are you seeking instant gratification?

Understand you, your needs & find what satisfies them

Self love is not selfishness!

Study YOU
Know YOU
Understand YOU, your journey & find, if you can, someone that understands their own journey then ensure your paths are complimentary.

What you think is crucial & indispensable today may end up being as useless as trash tomorrow.

A duck may be an excellent swimmer and may be able to hold its breath for a long time. This allows it get along with fish, spend time together, do stuff together and even fall in love but, and this is a BIG BUT, once it’s time to build a home, they will not be able to

Don’t be a duck trying to build a home with a fish and complaining that the fish is selfish, inconsiderate, difficult and inflexible. Don’t wonder why the fish, after marriage, refuses to meet you half way on the shore & don’t say “afterall i’m not asking it to fly”