(01/31) The late film critic @ebertchicago was not a huge fan of @rolandemmerich’s “Independence Day”. His review of the larger-than-life, schmaltzy blockbuster noted that it was little other than “silly summer fun”, which was reluctant to “slow down for the small details”.
(02/31) ‘Not slowing down’ is very much part of the modus operandi of blogger, hat model and occasional-#PrimeMinister Dominic Cummings. Particularly when maximising the fuel efficiency of the vehicle transporting his symptomatic family to medical facilities in Northern England.
(03/31) Cummings favours haste, brevity and a broad-brush approach over ‘the small details’. This is perhaps best demonstrated by his relentless promotion of catchy-yet-meaningless slogans, such as #StayAlert, #GetBrexitDone and #ConsiderTheMatterClosed.
(04/31) He’s also somebody who understands the media, and recognises the depressing predictability of the decision-making processes inside the offices of our nation’s tabloid editors. And not solely because of his presence in their ‘Contacts’ apps as “Senior Number 10 Source”.
(05/31) With quite the cynical motive, he will have nudged @BorisJohnson towards re-opening pubs in England on a Saturday - July 4th - despite concerns from @JeremyFarrar, the police, local government and hospitality bosses. Still, some people have had enough of experts.
(06/31) There are no obvious reasons why the first-of-the-month was not used, as it was for the last change in lockdown rules, and has been for every furlough update. The optics of a catchphrase and a weekend news cycle are even more tempting than those filled with @Tanquerayusa.
(07/31) Below the “Independence Day!” headlines, we could already write the front page subtitles for six days’ time:
“Cheers Boris!"
“The Pub Pint Returns!”
“What Are You Having?”
All juxtaposed with images of beaming landlords and raised glasses of foaming, amber, British ale.
“Cheers Boris!"
“The Pub Pint Returns!”
“What Are You Having?”
All juxtaposed with images of beaming landlords and raised glasses of foaming, amber, British ale.
(08/31) However, as easy as it is to anticipate the jovial rallying cries in the early leader columns, those of us who have been on both sides of the cash register in the hospitality industry can feel the inevitable, impending doom of what the rest of the day will entail.
(09/31) Before the masses even have the opportunity to navigate the colourful obstacle courses of tape and posters inside the venues, they will be confronted with labyrinthine queues at the front door that will put the recent scenes at @Primark and @bicestervillage to shame.
(10/31) People who have visited their traditional boozer for years will then be aghast that they can’t wander over to the bar to inspect the pumps, but are instead subjected to a brand of table service quite commonplace in America, yet unfamiliar and intrusive to #LittleEngland.
(11/31) As the celebratory first glass is followed by the social third and the unrelenting sixth, the socially-distanced conversations will turn to criticism of the atmosphere, the hiked prices, the limited menu offering and the obtrusive plastic screens.
(12/31) With the dawning realisation of a triumphant Brexiteer forced to endure lengthy delays at a Dutch airport’s passport control, people will insist that they were correct to demand the easing of lockdown, but that this is wrong, for not being precisely what they had in mind.
(13/31) Soon, #BritishCommonSense will disappear faster than the contents of a bag of Steak & Onion. It’s only a metre now. I just needed to get to the toilets. We live together, it’s fine. I’m healthy anyway. You what, mate? Who are you to tell me I’m breaking the rules?
(14/31) The public shaming then commences simultaneously across the country. @Twitter and @Instagram morph into a rogue’s gallery of aggression, violence and intimidation, with three months’ worth of kebab shop dust-ups released in one testosterone-and-Carling-charged powder-keg.
(15/31) The thinly-stretched police struggle to deal with punters who are neither alert, distancing nor social. However, it will only be when we arrive at the #MorningAfterTheNightBefore, with our many protagonists sleeping off the after-effects, that the real damage will occur.
(16/31) While the columnists and hired-heads fill their boots - variously blaming the government, the public, the #FootballLads, the #LoonyLeft, the #ScumMedia, @piersmorgan, @JuliaHB1 and @SadiqKhan - newly-infected lungs will be returning to homes, shops and workplaces.
(17/31) It’s difficult to recall what the landscape of mid-March felt like, after thirteen weeks of banana bread and @netflix. There was a gravity to the situation, then, that led to unquestioning obedience in shutting ourselves away. The rules were there for a specific purpose.
(18/31) To this day, the very first line of the current @GOVUK #Covid19UK guidance remains to “stay at home as much as possible”, yet @pritipatel appeared on television yesterday to cheerfully contradict that, and encourage people to visit the pub “responsibly and hygienically”.
(20/31) From a community perspective, the advice feels incongruous. Already frustrated at not being able to attend funerals or visit elderly relatives, the English public are being told it is permissible to enter The Queen’s Arms, but not your own grandmother’s.
(21/31) From a public safety standpoint, it begins to feel downright inconceivable. At a time of unprecedented international emergency, privileged status has been given to the unnecessary, quaint luxury of congregating in a communal space to drink a few, rather pleasant, liquids.
(22/31) The hospitality industry contains the loudest voices calling for the 2m rule to be cut, with motives rooted entirely in finance and not science. They insist we must return to old working practices, ignoring a virus that does not appear to heed venue capacity limits.
(23/31) Tourism big-hitters incredulously demand their right to continue filing people into cramped spaces for unnecessary travel, at a time of global catastrophe. How many mass graves are required before people accept that this year’s ice-cream on the sand is expendable?
(24/31) This pattern is widespread, with individuals and specific industries demanding that their own old-normality is greenlit to continue. Even @ZacCrawley1 - English cricketer and absolutely-not-an-epidemiologist - has stated that he “feels it’s time to bring cricket back”.
(25/31) The government is clearly no longer being #LedByTheScience, allowing the data to govern the safest route forward. Instead, they are making decisions that best serve their own priorities, and attaching sporadic aspects of justification wherever they can along the way.
(26/31) Their own chief advisors have become reluctant to attach their professional approval to decisions made above their heads. The daily briefings have vanished just like JVT, and shortly before @CMO_England was about to resort to blinking “Help Me” in morse code.
(27/31) Those in @10DowningStreet have deliberately chosen to weaken public safety, in order to massage the economy. Communities have been given the go-ahead to gather and mingle when new infections are at the same level as on the day when the strictest lockdown was introduced.
(28/31) If the highest priority is to #SaveLives as much as possible, we should have a mindset closer to that of March 23rd. We should all be living without the things that are not completely essential. For most of us, this means holidays, social visits and, yes, even the pub.
(29/31) Our interactions with friends can already take place through various media. Alcohol can be acquired and enjoyed at home. I adore my various locals, but it is patently ridiculous that we are currently placing specific buildings and our own indulgences on such a pedestal.
(30/31) In his review of “Independence Day”, @ebertchicago remarks on a typical scene of “panic in the streets; terrified extras flee and skyscrapers frame a horrible sight behind them.” This preempts the imminent, destructive chaos for which the movie is largely remembered.
(31/31) While the newspapers of July 5th may go to press before fully documenting the carnage, the likes of @AndrewMarr9 and @RidgeOnSunday will doubtless feature eerily similar ‘silly summer fun’, filmed on our high streets. We have already been introduced to the antagonist.
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