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Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
@UncleMthwithi
Jul 4, 2020 • 13 tweets • 6 min read • Read on X
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Episode 5 #UmxebaWodumo
Your Big Saturday Read #NdebeleTwitter

I2000 Lami uRobyn

Liyakhumbula uRobyn wokubamba iGearBox kaMthwithi ngale emaKharadini ku Episode 4? Afone phakathi kweviki athi uyaxolisa ngesiga sokimpampiswa ngu Toby. Ethi she wants to meet and make it up to me Image
2. You can imagine the excitement yokuthiwa they will make it up to me. My mind ran wild. Ngazitholela iKharadi bo Jo. She said mina I must just geza and look nice and be prepared to sleep out. Jo! Asikufara lokhu. Iviki yayinanayila kodwa yaze yafika iWoza Frayoyo yodumo Image
3. Lespano angiyanga. Ngagugla ngisagugla How 2 impress i2000 labo Kamasutranyana. Went shopping for Deo, Boxer, socks. Ngadlula eMakhokhoba ngidinga imbiza leCongo Dust. Didn't want ukukhulelwa ngukijana. Finally ngaSheva. Ngageza. Had to look young. Ngaqonda espothini. Ngizizwa Image
4.Sqonde eLodge Jo. Sifike sifake impahla saqonda ePool. Remember phela uMthwithi nguMaguswini guy from Episode 3. Kakwazi ukuswima. Utshaya ibhamu. Uyabhukutsha. Big difference ukuswima lokubhukutsha. Trying to impress bangikhuza sengithe bhudlu emanzini ngentenene nginjalo Image
5.For supper I ordered favourite food yaboMaguswini labo Pumula emadonkini. Chicken n Chips. Okunye kuyakhomfyuza. After several attempts ngayisotha ifork n knife never mind ukuthi sasesike sayidobha phansi inyama. Kufuna itactic okuyinto lokhu. Robyn wabekezela even kungishubela Image
6.Back to eRumini am uneasy. Lihle iKharadi but ngukijana mani. Ngokuli early twenties. What if ngingakhipha ibrugwe kungihleke izbunu? I don't like someone ochildish nxa sekusetshenzwa. Lokhu ungathi kuncane. Ngidlalise imali yami yeCongo leye sgubhu mnccccm! Image
7.Ngaqala ukusola kodwa sesigeza. After removing these push up bra zenu lezi, ibele lathi kwata phansi. Ngangilisusa phansi ngikhwela ungathi ngidlala iVolleyBall. Okunye kwangigezisa umzimba wonke Jo. Kwaskrabha wonke amakhona amagudzu ngasala ngiklini from Cape to Cairo Image
8. I understood why kwangiskrabha kangaka okuswayini sekudlalwa igame yePeople First. It was cholera regulation. Wash the fruit ungakalihlafuni. Khona kwangihlafuna okumuntu Jo! Kwangisotha to become nice okwatsho abantwana. IKharadi kumbe i2000 ulihloniphe bhoyi Image
9.Kwangivimbezela okukijana wena. Kwangimarinetha ngeYoghurt qede kuyilandele ngolimi. Ngezwa ngibanjwa yinkantsho iAki wena. Ngafroza nyaa. Kume kumbuze kuthi "Are you okay?" Ngivume njengontulo ngekhanda. Kubuyele kungithi mfi okumuntu. Ngezwa ngisiba lesiyezi. Kusithi ziba Image
10. Sekushuba phela lapha. Mina vele igame angiyiboni nex. Kungibambile oku Lady Ekse. UBhantomu useseNgozi Mine kodwa angila control. Angisaphefumuli. Kungithi mfi umunwe kuMDVD. All I cud do yikuthi ngithi Mayeee. Kuwukhipe bhuuu umsuzo. Lapha ngiyaretshwa phela bo Jo! Image
11. Khathesi sekuvuke idimoni okuli 2000. Sekungikhomanda. Kungitshela wat to do. Sengivuma noma yini. Kuthi Toby is mad! Manje I will f*vk u today. Kuthi y you quiet? Ngithi yes f*vk me baby. Yes do it. Sengiweak yonkinto. Ngaze ngacabanga iCongo yami. Zale zale Lami okumuntu Image
12. Finally ngizwe ukuthi sesifika EFolosi. Ngxi umunwe emsamo. Cudnt say Mayeee. Ngathi mayibabo. Ngcothu. Ngxi Mayibabooo. Ngcothu. Ngxi Mayeeee. Ngcothu Fikiyani. Ziba. Kwabamnyama. Daca. Di nyaaa. Ngaze ngavuswa yiHouse keeping ekuseni sekumele ngihambe. Oku Robyn sekuhambile Image
13. Ama 2000 yenzani bobhoyi. Ngibasuthi. Andizi. Ngiryt ngesayizi zami. Uyamelwa yinhliziyo. END.

Next week yimi Obambe i @CurateByo asihlanganeni khona. KuDM ama 2000 noooo.

#ZanupfMustGo Image

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More from @UncleMthwithi

Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
Jan 13, 2021
1. Chronicles of an Exiled Citizen
A thread

One thing that our people must be liberated from is fear. Fear of the known & unknown. Fear of the assumed. Generally, most of our people are both slaves and prisoners to fear. Fear rules us. Decisions we make are based on our fears
2. After the July 28 break-in at our home, alot of our people have distanced themselves from us. They feel that should it be known that they are related to us or connected to us, they will be vulnerable and the state will attack them in our stead
3. Some do not take our calls anymore. They believe the State has a way of using the calls to trace them. I gave one guy my contacts via a secure platform. He gave me his. Immediately an unknown number called him. Me thinks it was coincidence. He thinks it was someone snooping
Read 17 tweets
Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
Oct 22, 2020
1. After Dr Dumiso Dabengwa died and the family successfully snubbed a heroes acre burial as per his wishes and the presidency snubbed his funeral, many ZPRA cadres have made me custodian of their burial wishes via wills and commissioned statements...
2. They complain about how government ignores them in life, lets wallow in poverty and be harangued by hunger only to give them Grand Funerals. Dr Dabengwa used alot of his resources to assist them. After he passed on many have remained neglected
3. I generally, enjoy spending time with leaders of different stages of periods of our history and now. Veterans & Chiefs are my favorite though. The stories, the honest criticism, the humour and the wisdom is amazing. After about 3 months in exile, I called some to touch base
Read 6 tweets
Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
Sep 22, 2020
#NdebeleTwitter herewith Season 2, Episode 1 of #UmnxebaWodumo.

My Hillside Experience

It all began when I met uGalvin. Sagidla sonke eMoray but yena yilezana ezazingaboni nex. So he tells me he is now a waiter. Phela bragging about jobs is the new ntenene bragging contest Image
2. Nxa sifika ku parking he gets into a very expensive car. Ngangenwa yingubhane madoda. This guy owayekopa Kimi ama Corrections is now driving this sexy thingumabob? Zimbabwe ilesono shame. My ego was sodomised I tell you. He saw it and said, don't worry call me. I can help you Image
3. After serious thought, ngimfonele after 3 days. He tells me ukuthi akwenzi ukuthi sikhulume over the phone. I must go to his work place siyexoxela khona. I just cudnt believe it! Galvin wama ansa arongo now has power to call me to his office? Kunzima bo Jo Image
Read 17 tweets
Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
Sep 2, 2020
Herewith Thread 4 of my experiences #ChroniclesofHope

Thread 4: The Bad days.

Being in hiding is a game of mental strength and for those whose backbones are clad with iron. Especially those of us who want to go home and not to Europe
#NdebeleTwitter
#ZimbabweanLivesMatter Image
2. The 1st days are bad. Anxiety. Worry and concern over the well-being of the family. At some point I went for 4 straight days without eating, worried about my children. I just can't believe I can be this helpless and watch them bullied. A friend sent this about Cde Umile Image
3. The worst is that in the day that the State goes rogue even relatives blame you for it. They castigate us for 'ukuqala iZanu'. Very few want to assist. Majority does not want any contact lest they are endangered. To get a relative to house my family was a futile effort
Read 13 tweets
Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
Aug 30, 2020
Herewith Thread 2 of My experiences #ChroniclesofHope
Thread 2: Temple Run, Ferret enablers.

So the guy who led the Ferret Team to my house is Tapiwa Moyo of Nkulumane. We have failed to get his photo but we will give infor that will enable all of us to look for his photo
2. This Tapiwa at one point was a member of Joice Mujuru's Party Zimbabwe People First. He wanted to be Bulawayo Province chair person and had a serious fued with one Esnath Bulayani over the post. He has been deployed to Spy on Jabulani Sibanda former War Veterans chair
3. So a few days before they attacked, we got Intel to the effect that he has been deployed to follow me around and confirm where I stay. Sure enough he was monitoring my movements. He didn't know I notice him or that I know him. I played along. Then one day I made a grave error
Read 10 tweets
Umalume Nobhala Profile picture
Aug 30, 2020
As promised herewith the thread about my experiences. #ChroniclesofHope
Thread 1: The Clouds Gather

It all started with a WhatsApp Chat below on the 1st of May. This is 2 months before the July 31 Demonstrations was announced. At this point nothing suggested that am in danger
2. Everything was normal in the Zim sense way. Somehow, this message confirmed with my spirit. Something was afoot in the horizon and God warned me through someone I least expected. I needed to start preparing for that fateful day
3. I had seen how @JoeMzacaNgulube had been in activism & remained unknown in these streets. I decided to grow my Following. I had 386. I changed my content and used my other talents: Humour and Storytelling via #UmnxebaWodumo. I also embraced #NdebeleTwitter. I grew to over 2k
Read 21 tweets

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