Thread by @uzbadyubi

ALREET PALS i have my zarusoba, i have my pocari sweat and a lil cup of nigori sake, i am READY for a MOVIE!

so stardust was what i thought the princess bride was lol, with a lady who came down on a meteor. That's all i know. I assume she's the... star B)

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other than that i have NO CLUE. i assume it's fantasy-lite? esque? sad, happy, no idea. actors in it? no idea.

as always, i am pleading with the deities for NO aliens NO dead-things-which-are-moving and NO spiders

i beg of ye, o film

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"Do the stars gaze back"

IS THIS A FUCKING ALIEN FILM

I'LL BE SO MAD

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Oh, London????? England??? okay well shit i guess this isn't fantasy then, wild

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oh wait maybe it's narnia fantasy type

go on dunstan you're faster than him YESSSS DUNSTAN IS FREE!!! Free to run... in the wood!

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oh wait shit there IS a fantasy world?!?! Dunstan I think you've bitten off more than you can chew my boy I don't think you're READY to deal with the fey!!!!

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jesus dunstan DON'T FOLLOW STRANGE WOMEN INTO THEIR BOUDOIRS AFTER A SINGLE KISS YOU FOOL

okay we got a magical village of Stormhold then

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OH MNY GOD NOW HE HAS A BABY

THE OLD DUDE WAS JUDGING HIM BUT HONESTLY, SAME

DUNSTAN! NO CONDOM??? YOU FOOL.

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THIS FILM IS ALREADY WILD

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Okay so we got Tristan who is bad at swords and flirting and Humphrey who's good at swords and flirting BUT is a dick

i don't suppose tristan and humphrey end up together but one can dream

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hey y'all, Black Lives STILL Matter! Check out some petitions, donate if you can, and support organisations!

blacklivesmatters.carrd.co

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what goddamn time period is this set in because let me tell you we have some CONFLICTING silhouettes in terms of fashion happening here

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DUNSTAN IS A GOOD DAD I THINK AND IT'S VERY NICE AND REFRESHING TO SEE A KIND, SUPPORTIVE, SINGLE DAD

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"I've never had champagne before... my god, this is delicious!"

excuse me what sort of WILDCARD person likes champagne from the first sip

"All the way to Ipswitch" LMAO

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i'm sorry is this film telling me the stars are watching me constantly because if so i am going to be exceeding terrified forever

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DID THIS KING JUST GIVE HIS KIDS THE NAMES "FIRST" "SECOND" ETC BUT IN LATIN LMFAO

PRIMUS WHAT THE HECK

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okay so here we have a bad dad who killed his brothers and we have some brothers who are maybe also brother killers--

DEFINITELY BROTHER KILLERS, BYE BYE SECUNDUS CANNAE BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THE WINDOW TRICK

LITERALLY

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OH SHIT WE GOT THE METEOR

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like father like son tristan will also do Buck Wild Shit because he's kind of horny

good to know horny-foolishness runs in the family

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GOT ONE WEEK TO GET THE STAR AND MARRY THE GIRL BUT WAIT

THE STAR IS ALSO

A GIRL

WHO MIGHT BECOME A STAR AGAIN??? We might have Yue situation here pals

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IF these divinations are correct??? why are you doing potentially incorrect divinations??? do a right one!!!!

also UH OH what's left of the last star???

you about to succ some star soul, sister???

SHE'S GONNA MUNCH... SHE'S GONNA CRUNCH...

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Grace has been incarcerated for the crime of not doing her homework during the pandemic. She is a child with a disability, not a criminal.
#FreeGrace

https://twitter.com/ajplus/status/1285359039803559936?s=20

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LMFAO OH MY GOD THE OLD MAN DID NOT FALL FOR THE SAME TRICK TWICE

HE HAS BEATEN THIS CHILD UP WITH NO REMORSE

TRISTAN THE WALL ISN'T EVEN THAT HIGH JUST CLIMB OVER IT AT ANOTHER BIT

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oh shit that was a good candle huh

he just BAMFed outta there lmao

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OOPS COLLISION COURSE

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me, in the vine voice: DO I LOOK LIKE--

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He's from England, love. Sounds about right.

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OH MY GOD PRIMUS okay well you killed 1) your pal and 2) Tertius but Septimus is still up and ready to kick your ass for that lil stunt

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oh no SEPTIMUS poisoned the drinks i see now okay

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THE FILM THIS COULD HAVE BEEN.......

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Oh dear Ditchwater Sal (great name) you Fucked Up

we just got a whole lot of people searching for the Same Things huh

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I am into throwing rune stones for divination though i like that Very Much

also yes, okay, fine, septimus is kind of hot, jeez.

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HELL YEAH THE UNICORN FREED HER

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Are y'all aware of the atrocities happening in China right now? Please sign petitions and keep informed.

https://twitter.com/HeVeryTall/status/1283941577400872960?s=20

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VERY SPOOKY ACTUALLY

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LMFAO HE COMPLETELY MISSED LEAPING ON THE COACH

god what a fool

PRIMUS YOU ARE A GOOD MAN I HOPE YOU GET TO BE KING IF WE MUST HAVE A MONARCHY

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this man is Doing His Best

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EVIL MASSAGE TIME

OH WAIT, THE PRINCE AND ALSO TRISTAN ARE HERE

COME ON DUDE SEE THE NECKLACE IT'S RIGHT THERE

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OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PRIMUS DOWN PRIMUS DOWN

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LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH NOOOOOO IT BACKFIRED SOMETHING SPECTACULAR

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Captain Shakespeare?!?!?

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LIGHTNING TO CATCH??? THAT'S VERY EDGE CHRONICLES OF YOU I LOVE IT

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Yvaine you're being too nice to your captor tbh he saved your life sure BUT HE ALSO STILL WANTS TO TAKE YOU AS A GIFT FOR ANOTHER HUMAN

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HEY did you know conversion therapy is still legal in scotland? please sign this petition to help stop the practice!!!

https://twitter.com/StonewallScot/status/1285516475311304709?s=20

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this film could also be called Bernard's Bad Break tbh poor dude

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i did like how primus travelled alone (save for his dead brothers) and septimus travels with 6 others to make 7 people tho

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jesus christ okay captain shakesphere sucks a lot

is there gonna be like an assault scene here because let me tell you i did not have that on my cards

also bye tristan hope you can fly????

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oh i see!!! murder and assault was all a trick!!! well you got me there captain shakespeare turns out you're just a camp english dude i guess???

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it's a very good comment on issues in the white queer community regarding punching down + out at other marginalised people in order to keep your position of power but i think probably this was unintentional and it was meant to be "haha dw he's gay -WINK-"

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oh no he doesn't even know about brexit

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CAPTAIN GHOSTMAKER IS A FUCKING INCREDIBLE NAME

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wait

is this man brendon urie??? did he ever do acting?!?! LONG HAIR IS VERY GOOD THO

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YEAH CAPTAIN SHAKESPEARE YOU NEED BETTER FRIENDS FOR REAL MY MAN

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oh my god it's the british not funny man who's in the office WHAT'S HIS NAME WHAT IS HIS NAME

RICKY GERMAINE....?

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We got some Captor Inception going on here now

i do like his longer hair a lot tho

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OKAY I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM CATCHING THE LIGHTNING THOUGH THAT'S SO COOL

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yvaine isn't gweneth paltrow is she because i've been tricked like twice now by her appearing in films

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UnFunny Ricky making chicken noises might be the funniest thing he's ever said tbh

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"please tell people about all the horrible things i totally did to the captive woman i then gave you as a gift so i may continue to... catch lightning...?"

(maybe this is better explained in the book???)

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"mind you don't wear that wench out, Captain Tristan"

okay pal we get it, we get it

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we all know marsh short-cuts are a TERRIBLE idea right

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OH MY GOD LMAO BLUSHING WHEN YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE HORNY FOR IS TERRIBLE, IMAGINE GLOWING LIKE A GODDAMN LIGHTBULB THO

THE WORST POOR YVAINE

I'd say I hope she meets some more nice guys who don't start out by capturing her but she is going to England so...

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DON'T KISS

DON'T DO IT

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oh thank god he ruined the mood

thank you tristan for your inability to flirt

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VERY GOOD OUTFIT THO

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i DO love a fight set to the cancan tho

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oh my god this scene with the pirates is like when your ancient homophobic uncle tries to say something nice about your queerness 'cause your mum threatened him and it's just The Worst kjdfkj

"we always knew you were a whoopsie"

GOD

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oh my god OH YEAH DISHWATER SALLY CAN'T SEE HER OR ANYTHING JDKJDFJKFD

god, yvaine's really getting the full woman treatment, now it's like She Doesn't Exist!!!

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YVAINE THIS SPEECH IS VERY VERY SWEET BUT I THINK MAYBE YOU'VE MISTAKEN ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS HERE FOR CAPTOR/CAPTURED

ALSO YOU'VE MET LITERALLY LIKE 3 GUYS AND NONE OF THEM HAVE BEEN STELLAR (ha!) EXAMPLES

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OKAY WELL AT LEAST HE'S GOT THE FEELINGS FOR HER TOO

STOP KISSING NOW PLEASE YOU'RE BEING WATCHED BY GHOSTS

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tristan secretly cutting off a lock of a girl's hair after sleeping with her is Deeply Creepy my dude

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AWWW OH NO THE DUDE GOT THE MESSAGE ALL WRONG AND BROKE HER DANG HEART

GODDAMN YVAINE YOU CANNOT CATCH A BREAK HUH

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Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiit OKAY GOOD AT LEAST HE'S WORKED OUT YVAINE CAN'T CROSS THE WALL

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oh my god we had a bit of LotR music there when Mother is driving the cart through the village

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UH OH THE WHOLE GANG'S HERE NOW TO KICK BUTT AND STEAL PEOPLE'S ESSENCES

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wuoh-oh we got a whole witch mansion to get through now

HOW DID SEPTIMUS BEAT TRISTAN THO LMAO
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OH WAIT WHAT TRISTAN'S MOM IS THE MISSING PRINCESS???

THAT'S UNCLE SEPTIMUS NOW, BUDDY

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OH GOD SEPTIMUS THAT'S ALSO A NASTY WAY TO GO HUH

DROWNED IN THE AIR

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STOP THJE KNIFE SOUND STOP IT

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THIS ROOM IS VERY BLOODBORNE AESTHETIC THOUGH AND I LOVE THIS A LOT

YES RELEASE THE BEASTS TRISTAN

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AW SHIT YES HE'S GOT THE PROTECTION SNOWDROP

FUCK YEAH TRISTAN

NOT THAT IT LETS YOU DODGE FLYING POTS THO LMAO

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OH MY GOD SHE'S MEAT PUPPETING SEPTIMUS

MAKING THE BOY KILL HIS DEAD UNCLE

UNKIND!!!!!

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A FLYING KICK TO THE FACE OF THE WITCH LMAO

FUCKING EXCELLENT

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OH SHIT HER SADNESS WAS A TRICK

WILY WITCH!!!! She got me omg i was like "AWWW POOR HER" fkjfdkjdf

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YVAINE WHY DID YOU LET IT GET THIS FAR IF YOU COULD JUST DO THAT?????

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FHKJDKJDHJSD OMG

EXACTLY

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OH WAIT HE'S A PRINCE THE JEWEL IS GONNA--

YEAAAHHH IT WENT RED

HE'S THE KING NOW BABY

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wait excuse me what the FUCK did the wink Captain Shakespheare gave to Humphrey mean in this wedding scene DO I GET A FILM ABOUT THEM RUNNING AWAY TOGETHER BECAUSE UHHHH YES??? PLEASE???

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OKAY THAT'S CUTE I LIKE THAT

WELL. That was an experience and a half!!! Were there any famous people in it??? i didn't recognise a single person lmao!!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE RECOMMENDATION AND FOR FOLLOWING ALONG!

85/85 #YubiViews

https://twitter.com/uzbadyubi/status/1216074079209263104?s=20