1) Dinosaurs. I fuckin HATE dinosaurs. I'm terrified of them.
2) A park. Parks are fine. Unless they're filled with dinosaurs.
5) WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BRING DINOS BACK TO LIFE I HOPE THIS IS QUESTIONED.
... idk anything else. Dinos, it's bad, we kill all of them?
Let's dive in!
(If there's a water dino i will Shit Myself btw so)
THIS IS VERY SCARY ALREADY
also if you need this many men with guns for 1 dino I THINK YOU NEED TO RETHINK YOUR PARK TO BE HONEST!!!!
GONE SO SOON RIP MY DUDE THIS IS TERRIBLE I'M SO SORRY
SHOOT THE DINO!!!
now this inspector is a man here for the right reasons (park is unsafe) and the wrong motive (investors don't like losing money).
Right now he has a 8/10 probability to get monched. Man who isn't indiana jones idk if you'll make it...
And we're getting a dino lecture about how Velociraptors murder you that's neat i hope to fuck this isn't foreshadowing or anything -sob-
this is their Dino Sugar Daddy tho i guess???
HOLD THE FUCK ON
HE SAYS NO ONE CARES ABOUT SOMETHING
WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS FROM JURASSIC PARK WHAT THE FUCK??????
that's amazing i love that
also it is a nice hat
i think this man gets fucking ATE tbh
AND A GOOD INDICATION YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DINOS IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU NEED A FENCE WITH 10K VOLTS IN IT HUH
THAT'S A VERY FAMOUS LINE AND IT'S FROM JURASSIC PARK HUH OKAY I AM LEARNING A LOT TODAY
IF I WAS SEEING THIS IN A CINEMA I'D PEE MY PANTS WHAT THE FUCK
"we're gonna make a fortune with this place" YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A... KILLING.
that... that's fuckin... WILD??? how can you do that!?
-dino screams and rustling leaves-
i am in hell this is TERRIFYING
'show extreme intelligence including problem solving'
you made giant lizards who can run a billion miles per hour, do a 15ft vertical leap, and are clever.
WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????????
FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!! I'M ANGRY ABOUT THIS PARK!!!!!
you piss off a velociraptor once and that bastard will jump a wall to eat your face
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
NO??????????? WHAT HTE FUCK THAT SAYING IS *FROM THIS MOVIE*?!!?
I FUCKING 'THAT'S ROUGH BUDDY'D IT OH MY GOD HOW DOES TIHS KEEP HAPPENING DSKJDSKJDKSJ
YEAH MAN DINOS HAD THEIR SHOT PUT THEM BACK IN THE GROUND
THIS SEEMS NOT GOOD ACTUALLY
69/- (NOT NICE I'M SCARED) #YubiViews
maybe they all died already and we can just leave
"Dinosaurs eat men. Women inherits the earth."
LMFAOOOOOO I LIKE YOUR LINE OF THOUGHT DOCTOR
"Does anyone else think we shouldn't be out here?!"
YES. YES I DO.
IT LOOKS SO FUCKIN REAL I HATE IT OH MY GOD HOWWWWW
HOW DID THEY MAKE IT LOOK SO REAL
god are we really getting into their poop this is too much dino info for me
what even is his job why is he here??? did they explain that to us??? did i miss that??????
WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT GRANT????? i think we got some unauthorised breeding thoughts happening.
blease no dinos bLEASE NO DINOS
"I know. I didn't say you were..."
DARK IS THERE TO PROTECT US FROM SEEING THE SCARY STUFF
YES GRANT IS SAYING TO KEEP STILL
KIDS STOP WRIGGLING OH MY GOD
TURN THE LIGHT OFF TURN IT OFF
OH MY GOD IT'S SO REAL HOW THE FUCK DID THEY MAKE IT SO REAL I'M HAVING GODDAMN PALPITATIONS RIGHT NOW JESUS CHRIST
I'M GONNA CRY
YES MALCOM BUT ALSO NO MALCOM DON'T GET EATEN AUUGUGHHHG
I'M SO SORRY INSPECTOR MAN
-cuts to dennis crashing his car-
RUH ROH SCOOB
also 10/10 for showing lex having a panic attack because Yeah but also THIS POOR ANGEL
it scared me so much i need to pee. for real. so brb.
(cheeky dropping a link in the middle pls forgive)
okay now we're tree climbing again...
fun fact i once got stuck in a tree for 4 hours and my dad had to come rescue me bcs he spotted me when he was driving home from work
THEY MIGHT BE HERBAVORES BUT THEY AIN'T GONNA KNOW A HAND FROM THE LEAF IN THE DARK!! LIKE HORSES!!! THEY DON'T EAT FLESH BUT THEY STILL BITE!!!!
Malcom: Idk, what do you call a blind dinosaur?
Tim: A 'do-you-think-he-saw-us'.
DFKJKADKJS LMFAOOOO GOOD JOKE
I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE IT LESS SCARY BUT I'M DEEPLY SCARED BY IT
HOL' UP TIM WE NEED A COMPUTER PERSON
IS LEX A HACKER
LEX CAN YOU HACK
ARE YOU HACKER VOICE I'M IN LEX
holy wow. that's... wow.
that's uh... yeah. wow.
what a shot. wowie.
-Truck Sheppard Voice- UH OH!!! OH NO. UH OH!!! WHUH-OH. OOPS. UH OH!!!!
what the fuck??????
it's okay i know his outfit we're gucci
GOD I HOPE THE POWER IS OFF
NO!!!! THIS IS SO TERRIBLE OH MY GOD!!!!! NO DON'T TAKE YOUR TIME!!!! HURRY!!!!
DID THEY JUST KILL TIM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
OH MY GOD THE RAPTOR I JUST SHRIEKED I FUCKING SHIT MY PANTS WHAT THE FUCK IT JUST LEAPT OUT BEHIND HER HOLY FUCK I'M DEAD
"Yes. Unless they figure out how to open doors."
-smash cut to:-
ARE THEY CGI??? I AM NOTORIOUSLY BAD FOR NOT BEING ABOUT TO TELL WHEN SOMETHING IS CGI BUT HOT DAMN
DO THEY ALL DIE
JESUS CHRIST WHY COULDN'T THE RAPTORS GO HUNT SOMETHING ELSE THIS IS AWFUL I HATE THIS
ALSO IT'S THE END! AUGH! GOD IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. IT WAS SO REAL! AMAZING.
I WAS TERRIFIED. I LOVED IT. FUCKING AMAZING FILM. 10 DINOS OUTTA 10.
Thank you all for joining me!!! Until next time!
WAS HE THE HOT ONE
WAS THAT JEFF GOLDBLUM