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Idol Scribblings Profile picture
@IdolScribblings
Aug 12, 2020 β€’ 11 tweets β€’ 4 min read β€’ Read on X
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For all of you out there with #heatwaveuk related #insomnia here is a brief #history of the houses of the British monachy since 1066 in the form of #lightbulb jokes. 🧡 1/11
πŸ’‘πŸ‘‘πŸ’‘πŸ‘‘πŸ’‘πŸ‘‘πŸ’‘πŸ‘‘πŸ’‘πŸ‘‘πŸ’‘πŸ‘‘
How many "of Normandys" does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but the North will never accept the new lightbulb!

2/11 Image
How many "of Blois" does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but it will take 18 years, will never be completely changed, and there's a woman looking on who could have done it perfectly competently but wasn't allowed to.

3/11 Image
How many Angevins does it take to change a light bulb?

At least six to fight in a heap over who gets to inherit the lightbulb. 4/11 Image
How many Plantaganets does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The Earl of Warwick changes it for them.
5/11 Image
How many Tudors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but he'll change it six times. 6/11 Image
How many Stuarts does it take to change a light bulb?

One will try, and he'll completely lose his head over it. 7/11 Image
How many Orange-Nassaus does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, and they will twist the new lightbulb in with a Glorious Revolution. 8/11 Image
How many Hanoverians does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the instructions will have to be in German. 9/11 Image
How many Saxe-Coberg-Gothas does it take to change a light bulb?

The dead light bulb will not be changed. It's loss will be mourned for forty years. 10/11 Image
How many Windsors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They've screwed in a palace, a yacht, a train, a Range Rover and a Pizza Express, but never in a light bulb. 11/11 Image

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More from @IdolScribblings

Idol Scribblings Profile picture
Mar 16, 2022
I heard in the ether that there was a Facebook group called "Christans Against Dinosaurs". So, I searched for it out of morbid curiosity. Please join me on a tour of the oryctodromeus hole I fell down. First, what I understand is the OG group.🧡 1/15
In response to the Christian threat the Dinosaurs have formed their own Facebook Group. Apparently the Dinosaurs outnumber the Christians 4:1. I am concerned that there may not be enough Christians to feed all the Dinosaurs. Hopefully, most of them are herbivores. 2/15
The Battle Royale is now in progress! Move over lions. The Christians have a new adversary entering the arena! The Raptor Resistance. 3/15
Read 15 tweets
Idol Scribblings Profile picture
Sep 30, 2020
This has reminded me of a tale, passed down through three generations of my family, about a weapons test that went humorously wrong. (Although not as spectacularly as the Panjandrum.)
My Grandfather Graham Lee was one of the scientists working on the Bouncing Bomb with Barnes Wallis (whatever the film might suggest, Wallis didn't do it all himself). He was a chemist specialising in explosives and furzes.

Here he is with my Grandma, Dad and Auntie Ann. Image
During the time when they were testing & training at Ladybower Reservoir in Derbyshire, they had to ensure each dummy bomb was confirmed at the bottom of the reservoir or recovered at dawn. This was to ensure enemy espionage did not get wind of the design or the plan of attack. Image
Read 7 tweets
Idol Scribblings Profile picture
Sep 27, 2020
As we once more restrict our movement to help save lives, here is a reminder of the deities in the Idol Scribblings pantheon who can help us get through this.

No.1
Quatentina - Goddess of Lockdowns
(Her nemesis is β€œGirl Swirled” the home haircut demon.)
idolscribblings.blog/2020/05/03/qua…
No.2
Twometer – Goddess of Social Distancing

Should you have to venture out. You would be wise to observe the rules of Twometer.

(The favourite game of most Twometerians is the retro classic β€œPersonal Space Invaders”.)
idolscribblings.blog/2020/06/07/two…
No. 3
Sloth – God of Staying In

Nothing better to do? Try worshipping Sloth!

A worshipper of Sloth can flick through all 999 television channels like a Catholic prays their way around the rosary.
idolscribblings.blog/2020/03/29/slo…
Read 6 tweets
Idol Scribblings Profile picture
Sep 20, 2020
The Wine Marten

A short nose, with overtones of musk and a long finish.
This Majestic mustelid is occasionally found rifling through the Oddbin.

"Cheers!" to @ElectricBowman for suggesting the Wine Marten.
#Mustelid #PineMarten #Wine #wildlife

idolscribblings.blog/2020/09/20/win… Image
You can purchase a range of quality clothing and gifts with the Wine Marten artwork from my RedBubble shop.

For the image with black text for light coloured garments and gifts click here...
redbubble.com/shop/ap/579541…
If you would prefer your Wine Marten with white text for a dark coloured garment (which will hide the splashes of Claret), click here...
redbubble.com/shop/ap/579541…
Read 5 tweets
Idol Scribblings Profile picture
Sep 6, 2020
What I Did on My Holidays

It had been a year since I last went camping due to C-19. On Thursday I escaped to the Peak District for some much needed R&R.

You want to see the highlights?

Aaaaaas yoooooooou wiiiiiiiisssssssh! #PrincessBride Image
(I am always impressed that Buttercup pushes The Man in Black off Carl Wark so hard that he lands nine miles away in Cave Dale. That's a good angry shove you've got there girl.)
Anyway back to the holiday.

Played a bit of Historic Graveyard Bingo in Castleton.

I scored for, "The stonemason accidentally ran out of space". ImageImage
Read 16 tweets
Idol Scribblings Profile picture
Aug 30, 2020
Hello Idollers! It's a Second Bestiary week.

Please allow me to introduce the Muffin. A delicious sea bird that comes in blueberry, chocolate chip and sand eel flavour.

The Muffin was suggested by Amber Lee. Thank you Amber! Image
idolscribblings.blog/2020/08/29/muf…
You can purchase a Muffin on a T-Shirt, Bag, Hoodie, Mug and lots of other lovely gift items here redbubble.com/shop/ap/562536… Image
Read 5 tweets

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