My Authors
Read all threads
Ukimuona na sare ya shule usimfanye a Sare shule. THREAD.
Huwa wanasema in life lazima ukuwe na side hustle ukitaka ku survive fiti, especially Nairobi. So kuna raiya alikuwa mwalimu na side hustle yake ilikuwa ku offer tuition coz bills have to be paid.
In life hufai kula ndimu juu maisha ni ngumu, chukua hiyo ndimu na u make lemonade. So shule zikifunga alikuwa anageuza kwake kuwa tuition block ama anaenda kwa client kufunzia huko depending on vile wanasikizana.
So kuna day ameletewa customer na jirani mwenzako amfunze hesabu, so mostly alikuwa anamfunzia kwake coz jirani alikuwa anamTrust.
Kuna day mwalimu alilewa so zake zilikuwa zime Beirut, zilikuwa zimeshika kama skinny jeans on a thick mama... Macho zilikuwa zinaona ki Noah's Ark design alikuwa anaona mbili mbili.
Hiyo siku mwanafunzi akakuja lessons na juu mwalimu alikuwa under the influence akaanza kuangalia mwanafunzi suggestively, wasomi walisema DO NOT DRINK AND DERIVE... Jamaa alikuwa maji kama coconut.
Msichana alikuwa mrefu na hiyo siku akaamua kuvaa skirt ya sister yake mdogo coz thighs zilikuwa exposed kama screenshots kwa Instagram story ya Edgar Obare.
Blouse alikuwa amevaa ilikuwa transparent kushinda Kenya iki deal na corruption cases, yaani blouse badala ya kuficha cleavage na nipples, ilikuwa inazi feature.
Nyonyo zilikuwa zinakaa ni kama zinataka kumwagika nje kama maziwa inachemshwa kwa gas, nyuma alikuwa amejaza mefi kama exhauster, akitembea tako zinaenda juu chini kama elevator.
So jamaa aka omba dem favour ya kumuoshea vyombo, dem akaitikia out of respect. Alafu juu bedsitter huwa kama jikoni ndani ya sitting room, jamaa alikuwa na 3D view ya dem akiosha vyombo.
So dem akiinama skirt ilikuwa inapanda juu kama bei ya mafuta siku ya kusoma budget... Thighs zilikuwa exposed kama meno ya ngiri alafu zilikuwa rangi ya thao but jamaa akiona ana mbao.
Badala ya kusaidia mwanafunzi awache kupata grades mbaya akaanza ku calculate vile anaweza subtract nguo zake, divide miguu, add himself in the equation lakini akasahau anaweza multiply and fill the earth
Akawacha kufunza calcus akajifanya mwalimu wa agriculture juu alikuwa anadai kulimana... Kwa Bible wanasema Omba na utapewa, so jamaa akaamua hiyo siku badala ya kufunza aombe.. Akapewa 👀
Alafu si unajua wanaume huwa allergic kwa madem wako uchi, side effect ilikuwa mjuols ku pitch tent ndani ya boxer kama scout ako camp. Boner huwa evidence ngumu kuficha, unakuanga guilty of being a pervert.
Foreplay ya bedsitter huwa kufunga mlango. Jamaa akadanganya dem vile ataweka "Kichwa tu" na dem akasahau mjuols ni kama nyoka, iko na kichwa lakini haina shingo... Ikiona pangoni inaingia yote kesi baadaye.
Bedsitter so small hakukuwa na enough leg room ilibidi wamefinyana, kitanda ilikuwa ile ndogo ya 4 by 6 so kulala inabidi mmoja alale juu ya mwingine kama double decker.
Kufanya kosa sio kosa, kurudia kosa ndio kosa na Wahenga wa juzi walisema watu wawili wakikulana sana huwa wanaanza kufanana, juu mwalimu alikuwa na kitambi huyo dem pia akaanza ku develope kitambi with time.
At first wazazi wake walidhani mtoto ameshiba sana, wakaona akiamka asubuhi bado ako na kitambi kama koroboi wakadhani maybe ni kwashiorkor ama potty.. Shida ni vile alianza kutapika asubuhi.
Akakimbizwa hosy apimwe labda inaweza kuwa food poisoning, after ku run tests wakaitwa kwa ofisi ya Daktari, wakakuwa served chai juu hiyo hosy ilikuwa na hospitality... Get it 👀
Daktari akawapea results, waka discover kumbe dem hana potty ama kwashiorkor, ni mimba. Swali ya kwanza aliulizwa na mzazi ni "Ni ya nani?" followed with a few slaps for character development.
Dem akaona hawezi beba hii msalaba pekee yake, hapo ndio aligundua ukipenda ngono kuwa tayari kulea mimba. Na pia mimba ni ya watu wawili unless wewe ni Bikra Mariamu mwenye alijipata tu na mimba... Si akasema mwalimu.
Wazazi wakaamua kuchukua sheria mikononi mwao, waka beba dem wakapelekea mwalimu mzigo yake a explain mbona badala ya mtoto wao kupata A alipata D, mbona badala ya kufunzwa hesabu alifunzwa Biology reproduction.
Mwalimu a explain chemistry ilitokea wapi kati yake na mwanafunzi coz sasa wengine kwa class wakiwa na wasiwasi ya kushika periodic table, mtoto wao alikuwa na wasiwasi ya ku miss periods, wengine wakinyesha yeye alikuwa dry spell kama Turkana.
Kama harufu ya omena kwa ploti waka ambush mwalimu wakiwa na majirani wengine, after maswali kadhaa waka kumbuka huyu jamaa anawa O bare kama Edgar... Wakampea organic slaps kadhaa za uso ndio achangamke ajibu maswali.
Jamaa alipokea kofi back to back, anapigwa kofi ya kushoto anaskia kulia alafu anapigwa kofi ya kulia anajipata kushoto akilia, ilikuwa slap after slap ni kama mluhya kwa machine ya Posho mill.
Speaking of posho mill, it was at that moment ndio jamaa ali realize amemwaga unga juu aligeuza mwanafunzi mboga akamkula. Kuna zile profession hufai kukula mahali unafanya kazi.
Wazazi wameleta mtoto tuition afunzwe awache kupata D kwa mtihani kumbe mwalimu ako busy anampea D design ya shika mti honey... Akasahau mimba ni siri ya watu wawili, mwishowe huwa inajitokeza.
So wadau, ukimuona na uniform ina maanisha Uni ndio form... Akiwa na sare ya shule basi sare amalize shule. Otherwise if you love them in uniform, buy your wife a uniform... These are my two cents and I hope they make sense.
The biggest pandemic in this country is not even the corona virus, it's actually early teenage pregnancies... Kenya is turning into a breeding group of future single mothers coz of early relationship mistakes... Too many Jaydens, no fathers in sight.

THINK ABOUT IT 🤔
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Keep Current with 𝗕𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗚𝗢𝗔𝗧

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!