Thread by @evanderkoogh

So it is mental health awareness day. Which is why I am going to be doing a megatread on what it is like to live with ADHD and depression.

There is no need to worry about me. Yes, it is incredible hard, but I am mostly fine.

Feel free to ask me quite literary anything #ama

Feel free to ask me anything here, either by reply or DM. If you want to ask it anonymously I have a Google form set up at forms.gle/5N3Kdr4EVrHa94…

#ama #adhd #ruok

First a quick thing about R U Ok day.. I am not particularly fond of it. As a society in general, but people with mental health issues in particular, are so conditioned to pretend everything is ok, you will almost certainly not get an honest answer.

I am looking after a 5 yo during "homeschooling" in a lockdown in Melbourne, so this thread is going to unfold slowly.

So let's talk about ADHD first. It is a most terrible name: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.

The first problem is that Attention Deficit is only half the problem and that Hyperactivity is completely optional.

Let's dig in..

So let's talk about ADHD first. It is a most terrible name: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.

The first problem is that Attention Deficit is only half the problem and that Hyperactivity is completely optional.

Let's dig in..

What we have trouble with is executive function. We can not easily direct our attention. Which means that our attention is either all over the place, OR in a state which we call hyperfocus, where we can't focus on anything else.

Both have their advantages and disadvantages.

And that is a big and important thing. ADHD doesn't necessarily mean we are broken. Just that we have a hard time living in a society which isn't built for us.

Faced with a novel problem, my mind can wander through hundreds of possibilities in minutes and gain valuable insights.

With hyperfocus we stick with a thorny problem that any reasonable human being would have given up long before getting to a solution.

But yeah, day to day there are absolutely challenges.

Things that we can focus on are novel, interesting problems. Thing that we can't focus on are redundant, repeating, adminny things.

And there are an incredible amount of redundant, repeating, adminny things in life.

So, how did I find out I had ADHD? Twitter, pretty much. People talking about ADHD and me going, well.. that is interesting, I had that too!

Started to read up on it and realised that yes, I pretty much must have ADHD.

I was 36 when I realised it, but it took 4 years to get a proper diagnosis. By which I mean it took me 4 years to make an appointment, the diagnosis was instant in my first conversation with a psychiatrist.

You know those hard plastic wrapped scissors you need a scissor to open?

Part of the problem was that making an appointment is something I have a hard time doing because of ADHD. And there was hesitation because it was scary.

In the end it was my wife who offered to make the appointment, which has been a life saver.

Which is a great time to answer one of the Google Form questions:

"Do you prefer knowing I have ADHD or would I rather go back not knowing?"

Omg, so much for knowing it. To know there is a good reason for you not being able to incredibly simple things is gold.

I could go back through all the challenges I faced as a kid and growing up and put them in the right perspective. The kind of ADHD I have is called inattentive, so I don't get hyperactive, and while ADHD got some attention in the 80s, it was only hyperactive kids.

So I have always been labelled clearly gifted and could do great things, if he would only apply himself and stop being so lazy.

Homework was a horrendous. And I barely skated by through school. Dropped out of Uni quickly when I realised I was never going to finish.

Taking a break, back to the 5yo. Back in a bit. Keep those questions coming :)

One question that comes up repeatedly, that I had a bunch of concerns about before I was diagnosed, is medication.

Medication has been a long journey for me to get right. I had a lot of trouble with side effects, but now that I got it somewhat right, it is amazing!

ADHD medication is low dosage of stimulants. My fear was that it would change who I was, which is not the case. It makes you a better version of yourself. The best way I can describe it is that it makes your head more quiet.

Your thoughts go slow enough so you can direct them

ADHD medication is a trade off between the benefits of more control of executive function and side effects.

I started out on Ritalin and dexamphetamines and both gave me me the physical feeling/responses of anxiety such as sweating, increased heartrate and a pit in your stomach

We tried switching medication and dosages and we finally settled on Vyvanse. Still working on the exact dosage, but so far it has been great.
One weird Australian thing though is that Medicare will only reimburse it if you are diagnosed before you are 18.

Right.. I am back.. let's finish this. I realised I forgot to talk about how ADHD manifests itself in my day to day life. One of the questions that I was asked.

It is extremely easy to forgot things. You know how you walk into a room and don't know what you went there to do?

That happens to me multiple times a day. I'll have forgotten why I picked up my phone or why I opened my browser. My brain has moved on to other things.

The way I explain it is I can remember the birthdays of my entire extended family, but will never remember to send a postcard

A great visualisation of the struggles of ADHD can be found in @danidonovan's comic series. Which is one of the reasons I finally caved in and got an appointment and subsequent diagnosis. Absolutely check out her work, it is really really good.

Another question: How does it affect my work?

I have been *incredibly* lucky when it comes to work. Computers and programming were my hyperfocus sweet spot. As I started on them very early, I could get a job after dropping out of Uni and be productive as a dev.

And after that I did a whole bunch of consulting and training, others jobs that play very much to my strenghts. Being able to very quickly gather a lot of information, digest it and form opinions.

Running a startup is harder, but now that I have incredible employees it is easier

Right.. I am going to have to continue this tomorrow. I really need to go get some sleep. I do want to finish relationships, both friendships and family, and then finish off with how to support those people in your life who may be affected by ADHD and/or depression.