T. R. Okuna Profile picture
18 Sep, 10 tweets, 2 min read
Eligible 30-year-old bachelors PREFERRING 23-year-old women is NOT a condemnation of their older agemates. When you LOUDLY preferred older men through your 20s, none of us wrote threads lamenting your condemnation of us. Let men VOCALIZE their preferences in peace.
Your parents tell you to study hard, are they condemning the illiterate? Equally, when we tell eligible 30-year-old men to aim for 25 yr old >>, we are not condemning older women (our agemates). We know there are successful illiterates, but would you normalize illiteracy?
And no, it cannot be predatory that which is sanctioned by law, and was the backbone of your romance for years. Men don't marry younger women as revenge to their older agemates who made it abundantly clear they preferred older men. Keep preferring the older men even in your 30s.
I am tired of coming into threads lamenting eligible bachelors' desire for control and power as being the trigger behind their pursuit of younger women. Because this is not true. There are a 1,000 & one benefits due to men - and the society - for marrying younger women.
Younger women are less predisposed to the cynicism born of failed relationships. They yield more to the man. Ask your self as a 30-year-old woman, are you as vulnerable as you used to be in 23s? Yet men need that emotional vulnerability, that they can protect & love you.
Men peak sexually in their 30s. They need women that can match that vigor toe to toe. Beat to beat. But older women want the lights turned off. They give sex as a reward for loyalty. Weaponizing sex. Leveraging sex. No man has time for that.
Majority men realize better financial welfare in their 30s. They need to start building with someone whose primary motivation is not competition, but community. Younger girls attend to this better than older women - who the vagaries of life turned cagey, and wary.
Lastly, & scientifically, offsprings fare better when there is at least one present parent. In their 30s, men are at the core of their careers; in their early 20s, women are just starting out. The latter will handle nurture, the former will provide. They complement each other.
So, by all means, let men be. Keep loving the older men like you did years ago. We are still the same immature men you branded us then. Let everyone feed from the tree they planted. That your fruit is now bitter is sad, but not your male agemates' farm to till. Let men be.
For the less discerning, as there are bound to be, that immature up there is in quotes. i.e. "immature".

Because maturity is not the preserve of aged/wealthy men.

We must not view men's LEGAL preferences from the quagmire of indignation.

A choice due to women, is due to men

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More from @XivTroy

30 Dec
Most importantly, I hope that you, as a man, find the courage to leave the woman that does not appreciate you, that insults you, and abuses you. You are not inevitably tied to a woman, and your continued stay, will not change their minds. Delete that number. Start saying 'No'.
We live in a society that can be very indifferent to male plight. But you feel, you love and you hope. Regardless, these must be tamed. I have shared with so many brothers on the DMs this year. Men suffer abuse. Men suffer betrayal. Men can be very hopeful. To their detriment.
Despite our fervent denial, relationships are an important facet of our lives as men. They affect our overall productivity. Affect our relationship with other men. Women do not have monopoly of exit. Leave a woman that is going nowhere with her life behind. You are not a savior.
Read 4 tweets
30 Dec
I come back to this city a lot. It is here that I schooled. You see that dead stump next to the road, it used to be a huge oak tree. The first time I came back, exactly 2 years after I had left, Tuishime, my former classmate, was a cashier in one of those ubiquitous Indian shops
I found him in the afternoon - hunched next to other worn faces in the hot Nairobi afternoon. He said, "a man must fight", as he dipped a piece of thin chapati in the light bean soup. He had applied to several organizations after internship, but only the Indians would have him.
I said, "sorry man, keep fighting. I'll pray for you". He didn't stay long: said the Indian bosses were rather particular. He walked with long strides. His spring smacked optimism. The throng swallowed him quickly, and I, haunted by its anxiety, hurried out of that gloomy street.
Read 8 tweets
29 Dec
Africans cling to victimhood because the West has fetishized suffering. Victim syndrome sells in the US. African personalities didn't always make an identity of their misfortunes. They sold merit to the world. Today, we hawk trauma for pity money. We're trauma pornstars.
The first thing an African does, as soon as she has the west's attention, injustice. Victimhood is the standard marketing strategy: Colorism, homophobia, sexism...most of these things did not happen. Especially, to the individuals that claim it for mileage.
And when you write long letters for scholarships, you claim poverty you never suffered. You claim discrimination you never experienced. You rob the deserving of their truth. And then you wonder why everybody thinks Africa is one big bush.
Read 8 tweets
26 Dec
You see, the problem in having "beautiful" as your benchmark in seeking romance is that it's limitless. You will never come into the most beautiful woman, You can only come into the most beautiful woman FOR YOU, depending on you. General standards die where the individual begins.
That is why as you grow older, standards shift. Hence, "I ain't got no type". Superficiality loses meaning. "Beautiful" will indeed attract, but we are kept by much more. For instance, I've always preferred taller women, like my mom, but somehow always ended up with short ones.
Because when it came down to it, their height's significance paled in comparison to their minds & spirits. The more I grew to know them, the more the world's standards lost meaning. It felt like home. And it was beautiful. I took the world out of it, and inserted me.
Read 7 tweets
23 Dec
A man is still a man. It matters little that he is fat, slender, short, or tall. He sullies his frame when he submits himself to the dictates of the world outside him. You cannot be tall or lean enough to impress every woman.
And unless a woman lives in the forest, and feeds from trees and shrubs, she has no use deriding short men. That is a mark of congenital inanity. If tall was the benchmark, every tall man would be a polygamist. Yet, we too get rejected by women, & just as frequently, if not more.
When you're tall enough, it is the face that does you in. When you're slim enough, it is poverty that sells you out. Standards shift depending on the woman’s desire. The presence of fat & short men – & women – is a testament to the triviality of these qualities in human evolution
Read 7 tweets
21 Dec
Let me rephrase this:

Women cooking for men is not an act of servitude in Africa as is peddled by leftism. In the original African context, food is not just about fill, it is a bridge to community. We have sacrificed our wealth already, why must we sacrifice our identity too?
The funny thing is we are sacrificing it for the proclivities of communities that lack grounded identity. There's no white identity. There's no African American identity. But there is the African identity. Yet it's us that act like we have no identity. They should be emulating us
In America, chicken is just chicken. You eat it & sleep. That's why they won't stop eating. They eat morning to night. Nonstop. But in Africa, food is an opportunity for community. Every action seeks community. When we meet, when the women cook, it is not the act, but the symbol.
Read 5 tweets

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