BarefootRebel Profile picture
Sep 28, 2020 7 tweets 3 min read Read on X
A thread....

Recovery truth
I'm not going to lie. It is hard. The most difficult & most painful thing I have ever done. To constantly fight against that voice, the voice which controlled every element of my life for far too long. The tears, confusion and pure exhaustion.
The voice still appears from time to time, in times when I am feeling a little vunerable or anxious. The voice will try to lure me back in, using different ways and weak spots to get to me.
The latest way it's trying to lure me in is attacking my postpartum body. Nothing fits my body is still healing, it needs time. The temptation to loose weight quickly, resort to old behaviours & the voice whispering, you have done it before, you can do it again, it's easy really.
But with those behaviours came misery I was selfish all I cared about was the number on that scale. Friendships put at risk I had no time to socialise, I needed to be at the gym. My relationship with my husband at breaking point he watched the woman he loved slowly kill herself
My career in tatters as I couldn't keep up with my work load, unable to concentrate and couldn't be the fun early years practitioner I once was. With those behaviours came heart failure, depression and a whole host of damage to my body. I was a shell.
So yes ED, I could loose the weight quickly. But I would also be loosing so much more. My happiness, my freedom and possibly my life.

I want to see my little girl grow up.

Recovery is ongoing and may seem impossible at times. But looking down at her little face......
My goodness it is worth every fight 💕

Recovery is possible. Hard, but worth it.

Keep fighting everyone x

#eatingdisorder #edtwt #mentalhealth #edrecovery #atypicalanorexia #anorexia #bullimia #osfed #eatingdisordertruth

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More from @RebelBarefoot

May 29, 2023
Just over 4 years ago, I tried to end my life.

Tw. Sui*ide

I repost this picture every year, this was the last picture taken of me before my attempt. I look so happy, carefree & full of life. What many did not realise was how much I was raging a war with myself. Convinced I.... Image
Was an awful person & a burden to all. consumed by a number of mental illnesses that eventually took their toll.

It is by pure chance I am still here. The quick thinking of a friend who had a gut feeling something wasn't right. His actions saved my life.

Looking back I am....
Incredibly thankful. I do not recognise the person I was back then. I now have a different job, new hobbies & finally living authentically. Doing things that I want to do & learning the signs of burn out.

Everyone kept saying hold on, it will get better, but I did not.....
Read 7 tweets
Oct 3, 2020
Post partum bodies! Please read full thread

Can we normalise REAL post partum bodies please. I'm sick of being asked how I am going to loose my baby weight? How am I going to get back into shape? What creams I am using to get rid of stretch marks?

Piss off.
I was told it would not be possible to carry a child due to the damage my eating disorder had done to my reproductive system. We are overwhelmed with what we have managed to produce.

The last thing my body needs is to be manipulated, punished and starved.
My body has done an incredible job over 9 months, it needs to be cared for, nourished & loved.

I have seen so many # insta perfect post partum bodies. I am also being targeted by adverts to join weight loss programmes enticing me to hate what my body has becone.
Read 9 tweets
Aug 21, 2020
Please read whole thread

It has taken me a few weeks to process this.

Let me tell you a conversation I had with a Dr recently. Had to visit & get checked over general pregnancy niggles, they had to check my BMI.
Dr: Oh Mrs Burnett you are measuring obese, we need to look at diet plans, I can suggest the new better health app, a calorie defecit & exercising.

Me: But I am 8 & a half months pregnant & recovering from an ED.
1st of all of course I am going to be weighing more a tiny human is growing inside me, I could pop any day now. 2nd I was discharged from ed services in Jan, suggesting I diet is not a good idea. I know I would spiral quite quickly and my priority is staying well for little one
Read 8 tweets
Jul 27, 2020
I've been feeling really deflated around the governments obesity scheme. I despise the fact they are just using numbers to determine health. Im classed as overweight & fear now every time I go to the doctors for anything I will be prescribed weight loss as a cure for any issue(1)
However when I was classed as a healthy weight, I had to restrict, count calories and use all sorts of eating disorder behaviours to maintain that weight. I was not living, I was actually doing lots of damage to my mental and physical health. (2)
Set point theory does not seem to exsist or been considered. Trying to maintain a healthy weight nearly killed me. Now I feel like I am being pushed back into living/existing in my disordered ways just to avoid being shamed constantly. (3)
Read 6 tweets
Jul 23, 2020
A year ago I was undergoing tests, years of living with an #eatingdisorder had damaged my reproductive system. I was told it wouldn't be possible to have children naturally, a massive blow. I was given the option of IVF but I had to be in solid recovery. 1/3
I worked hard, tears, anger and a lot of involvement from professionals, I reached my set point maintained and was well. I started the medication to regulate my hormones and my cycle, 5 months of different pills, just before we started IVF we found out we were pregnant.
My eating disorder nearly took away my chance of starting a family. Last night I sat and cried on my husband, overwhelmed that in 7 weeks we are going to be parents.words can not describe how greatful I am for my treatment team @LPFTNHS for helping me reach my long term goal 3/3 Image
Read 4 tweets
Jul 15, 2020
Recovery tip. Stepladder goal setting.
Full video on my insta barefootrebel1
Remember this is just my example, you may have different steps, more steps less steps different goals different starting point. It is just an example.
I used this technique when I desperately wanted to..
to achieve a goal but it seemed so far away or just too much. Breaking it down into smaller steps, I found really useful.

If you get stuck DM I will be able to help you think and develop steps for your own goals.

Try not to have to many steps though or it can get to much again
Read 4 tweets

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