It's strange to spend your whole life with your constantly rambling inner voice as the strongest part of your awareness and then one afternoon it just goes away forever
I've so far felt months of total silence, years of a kind voice (lucked out here), and weeks of a judgmental one, and my takeaways are p unsurprising. A kind voice is fun like playing life with a friend, mean voice sucks, no voice much easier to directly appreciate awareness
automatic feelings of gratefulness for hilariously basic things like.. the sun existing, or like that I have feet... has gone up 50x, which matches the paper ava cites (just read it for the first time now)
Didn’t want to misrepresent so I sat in darkness for a while to see what happened. Voice isn’t totally gone, just hard to access rather than being hard to silence
I’d love to self-experiment with subvocalization tech. If I can’t hear what I’m saying through my head maybe I can through my throat?
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imo one massive secret is the shortest path from self-centered jerk to being effortlessly affectionate basically all the time isnt that long. I love this video, but it only show you what warm is, not how to get there yourself (so it’s effortless)
What part of your body are you most grateful for today?
I was biking yesterday as the sun went up and only noticed a small wooden bridge was covered in ice as it threw me sideways off the bike and as I slid the wood sliced my hand open. I've been watching in fascination as it heals, each side of the wound reuniting with the other
then an hour ago I was baking a pumpkin pie and grabbed a hot dutch oven, burning my fingertips. As it's healed I've been playing with different sensations, hot, cold, diff textures etc.
very aware lately of how my body heals all the shit I put it through and it's so cool
Heuristic for if you have self-love (that I’ve seen a bunch of people reach!): walking around alone feels kind of like walking with someone you have a crush on
there’s emotional infohazard in sharing this stuff, since it hurts if you’re not there, but I think it’s important to know the incredible heights you’re capable of. Every one of us could have a bright and happy future if we figure out good and safe protocols for getting there
In fact it’s probably the exact same circuitry. That we’re wired to get into this state permanently with relative ease - that you can feel butterflies in your stomach because you’re about to spend time with yourself (!) - is a treasure future generations will reap
Pro tip you put anything into your body that changes your mind, send yourself dosage and time. You’ll have a perfect record of everything you’ve ever taken, and if you do end up in medical emergency you can access it on anyone’s phone to give to your doc
I do this with molecules I put in my body that don’t change my mind too, but I’m really careful. The chance you end up in a state where you can’t recall is probably lower, so I wouldn’t stress over it
I think “risk tolerance” with this stuff is largely a false dichotomy. Good safety protocols go incredibly far in allowing a lot of experimention without much risk. Shulgin threw totally unknown molecules into his body for 50 years and was healthy and happy as a clam
Alright team we’re nearing escape velocity keep it up 🌚
I’ve always dreamt of the day I’d be early to a meme that mooned 🚀 I was viewer 1800 of Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros but that was just training wheels and I know in my soul that today is the day
Maybe contrarian opinion but we would learn 100x more about neuro if we put every dollar going towards connectomics towards psychedelics (also, learn way way more about mental health). Dynamics & interventions >> topology
Or maybe it’s the kind of contrarian opinion most good researchers agrees with but doesn’t feel safe bringing up at lab meetings. I care more about reducing the occurrences of these than I do about connectomics or psychedelics, as it controls the derivative of science
I don’t know a single neuroscientist that who thinks connectomics is a good dollar to insight investment, yet I don’t know of any who have written about this publicly. I don’t know what they’re say at intra-lab meetings but I suspect they keep quiet there too