ONE in FOUR children in the U.S. has at least one foreign-born parent. So for World Mental Health Day, I want to highlight the unique mental health struggles that immigrant children & bicultural folks, like me, can experience at the intersection of our two differing cultures >>
1. In one culture we may be taught that seeing a therapist and/or talking about our mental health struggles is selfish and shameful, and in our other culture, we are taught that caring for our mental health is a sign of courage and bravery.
2. In one culture we're taught that groupthink -- or maintaining the harmony of, making decisions as, & considering the betterment of a group/family/community -- is most important, and in our other culture we are often encouraged to nurture our individuality & our self-efficacy.
3. In one culture, we may be judged and evaluated on how well we are able to maintain the peace and do what’s expected/asked of us, and in our other culture we are being judged and evaluated on how well we take up space, speak up, and practice assertiveness.
4. In both cultures, we are told to be grateful. Grateful to be here. Grateful to have opportunity and resources. Grateful to have "made it." This ongoing expectation of gratitude in all parts of our lives can compound our imposter syndrome, and it feeds our negative self-talk.
5. In one culture we are taught to chase security & comfort, while in the other we are taught to chase passion & purpose (a privilege many before us didn’t have).

6. One of our cultures has commodified self-care while our other culture has commodified service & self-sacrifice.
7. In one culture, we have been taught that our worthiness is tied to productivity and how traditionally successful we are (and what we can show for it). In our other culture, we are encouraged to take risks, try new things, and celebrate our efforts -- no matter what happens.
8. In both cultures we are expected to be like "them" -- the “them” being different & us not being enough of either. This can feel like we don’t belong anywhere and/or we are left having to take stock of our identities to choose which parts of ourselves to leave behind or hide.
9. Bicultural individuals may grow up in families & communities that don’t prioritize (or understand) mental health. And often, we are also socialized in environments that aren't necessarily equipped with how to care for our mental health. Damned if we do. Damned if we don't.
Let’s normalize talking about our mental health struggles & all of the unique, difficult, beautiful, messy ways we exist as whole beings in our lives. After all, we challenge stigma by confronting stigma, and it's likely if you are not an immigrant child, you probably know one.

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More from @SahajKohli

1 Sep
For children of immigrants, it's not uncommon to develop self-sabotaging behaviors for various reasons. >>

1. You may have been told that you're one thing or that you should be or do one thing, so now you may try to make your life work in that box, even if it doesn't feel right.
2. You may have grown up in a household where you had to learn to be comfortable with instability, so now as an adult you set your own upper limit potential -- or your own comfort for success -- that inhibits your growth.
3. You may have been told to do things well or don't do them at all. So at the first sight of a hiccup, mistake, or roadblock, you just give up altogether because it feels like you're a failure.
Read 10 tweets
3 Aug
While this is not an exhaustive list, here are 10 benefits of going to therapy for children of immigrants >>
1. Therapy can help you navigate your bicultural identity, multiple cultures, and the differing norms, values, and expectations.

2. It can provide a confidential, productive space to vent and work through struggles without fear of your community finding out.
3. Therapy can help you manage, and heal from, generational and unspoken trauma.

4. You can learn to explore your need and desire for boundaries in your relationships and how to effectively set and hold them in a way that works for you.
Read 6 tweets
11 May
Happy Mother’s Day to the immigrant moms who left their own homes before they even knew themselves and moved across the world w/ partners they may not have known very well only to birth life in a new country and plant roots in an unknown land.
Happy Mother’s Day to the immigrant moms who nurtured their children’s growth regardless of where it would take us. The ones who spent their whole lives putting themselves last, catering to our every whim, and making our everyday lives easier, often without appreciation.
Happy Mother’s Day to the immigrant moms who found their own voice by nurturing their children’s. The ones who argued with our fathers so we could have the freedoms they never experienced themselves. The ones who never felt strong but were adamant on raising strong women.
Read 4 tweets
1 May
For children of immigrants, there's a number of reasons why it may be difficult to show up wholly and authentically in your everyday life and relationships. >>
1. You may not have been taught how to handle failure or setbacks and/or you may not have been taught that quitting, walking away, or saying no can be acts of strength. These may manifest themselves as you "powering through" even when it's unhealthy or you're unhappy.
2. You may have been (and may still be) constantly compared to your peers so it may be difficult to genuinely support others' success without it feeling like you failed in some capacity. Or this may manifest itself as struggling to trust others to hold your own ideas & goals.
Read 10 tweets

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