Today in pulp: my top predictions for 2021! This is what the year ahead will bring us and I promise I will be less wrong than everyone else.
Yes I'm getting these in early because I'm so confident... #FridayFeeling
Yes I'm getting these in early because I'm so confident... #FridayFeeling
Prediction #1: facemasks will be connected to the Internet of Things in 2021!
They wont work - obviously - but some start-up will do it because it's a) obvious b) stupid and c) involves tech. People will still forget to wear them in shops...
They wont work - obviously - but some start-up will do it because it's a) obvious b) stupid and c) involves tech. People will still forget to wear them in shops...
Prediction #2: Scotland will launch it's own cryptocurrency in 2021!
Sort of. Some FinTech firm desperate for PR will try to jump on the independence bandwagon, offering Holyrood a 'new' currency based on blockchain and bullshit. They may also have a bridge they want to sell...
Sort of. Some FinTech firm desperate for PR will try to jump on the independence bandwagon, offering Holyrood a 'new' currency based on blockchain and bullshit. They may also have a bridge they want to sell...
Prediction #3: arse recognition technology will go mainstream in 2021!
As facemasks prevent facial recognition systems from working gait analysis - particularly buttock-based deep learning algorithms - will become a viable alternative. We haven't seen the back of this one...
As facemasks prevent facial recognition systems from working gait analysis - particularly buttock-based deep learning algorithms - will become a viable alternative. We haven't seen the back of this one...
Prediction #4: the first space wedding will happen in 2021!
Some billionaire will try to wes in low Earth orbit as a PR stunt (no prizes for guessing who), resulting in a very contested divorce in 2022 as both parties made their vows over different continents...
Some billionaire will try to wes in low Earth orbit as a PR stunt (no prizes for guessing who), resulting in a very contested divorce in 2022 as both parties made their vows over different continents...
Prediction #5: homework will get more expensive in 2021!
Insurers will claim your home iffi e is a business venture and will increase your premiums, whilst your laptop in the spare bedroom will suddenly attract business rate taxes. They're not daft you know...
Insurers will claim your home iffi e is a business venture and will increase your premiums, whilst your laptop in the spare bedroom will suddenly attract business rate taxes. They're not daft you know...
Prediction #6: 5G phones will be hot enough to cook eggs on in 2021!
Well at least one brand will. In their rush to jump on the 5G bandwagon someone will rush to market a smartphone with a heat sink that doubles as a griddle. It's a feature, not a bug...
Well at least one brand will. In their rush to jump on the 5G bandwagon someone will rush to market a smartphone with a heat sink that doubles as a griddle. It's a feature, not a bug...
Prediction #7: cable news will screen the first autonomous car chase in 2021.
Yep, someone will leave their autonomous car running, it'll set off down the San Antonio highway pursued by a dozen police cruisers, and TV anchors will breathlessly intone "What does it really want?"
Yep, someone will leave their autonomous car running, it'll set off down the San Antonio highway pursued by a dozen police cruisers, and TV anchors will breathlessly intone "What does it really want?"
Prediction #8: landlines will be a status symbol in 2021!
As only older (and therefore richer) people have a fixed line phone in future expect this to be factored into credit reference scores in future. If you want a credit card better get a landline first...
As only older (and therefore richer) people have a fixed line phone in future expect this to be factored into credit reference scores in future. If you want a credit card better get a landline first...
Prediction #9: panda viagra will be the breakout pharma product of 2021!
Look, we've got to get them to breed somehow...
Look, we've got to get them to breed somehow...
And prediction #10: the year 2021 will be LESS CRAP than 2020!
I mean look at this year. How could things possibly get worse?
More predictions another time...
I mean look at this year. How could things possibly get worse?
More predictions another time...
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