Thread by @SportsbkConsig

Story time from the book:

College football Saturday is such an electric day in the book...

You get maybe 16 Saturdays every year when there are games on from the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep...

It all starts with College Gameday and ends with a late night...

Pac12 after dark or Hawaii home game...

The energy in a book in Vegas starts slow and builds to a crescendo...

When you open at the crack ass of dawn, you have your people still finishing their night before, and they haven’t even started with the black coffee yet..

You have...

people trying their best to close deals, and I ain’t talking about business..

People would ask me for picks or tips at the counter all the time..

In between banging out parlays, sometimes, you had to save some people...not like a reverend or a rabbi, but like a good wingman..

You know the saying “If can’t spot the sucker at the table...”

There were many times Jimmy from Oshkosh or Bobby from Riverside just couldn’t see it...

Whether it was those thick ass beer goggles, a big night at the tables, or a stubbornness to lay Bama -14 FH, he wasn’t...

listening to anybody...I’d throw shit out there to help..you know, I read books and listen to Tony Robbins in addition to the sports book stuff..

“Hey, man, you with that girl?” I ask as he is finishing his eight team money line parlay with all -400 or more favorites..

“I met her last night,” he slurred. “She is pretty hot, right?”

Oh man..here we go..

I glanced over his shoulder..

“Oh, you mean Destiny? Yeah, she
Is..”

Now, keep in mind, I did not know that woman, and I had no idea if her name was Destiny, Summer or Autumn..

But...

But it was -400 that she was working, and it was -800 that ole drunk ass Jimmy was gonna lose more than his chalk parlays..

“Hey, man, she is no good for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, she is no good for you. Just get some coffee and go to your room. You want a...

drink ticket?”

He looked at me but I wasn’t sure he could focus. I could smell the night before across the counter. It was that all too familiar booze, perfume and cig scent.

It’s not exclusive to Vegas, but you know it. We’ve all worn it. It’s terrible but it is...

popular..

Jimmy had it on and it was strong..he paused..

“I don’t drink coffee.”

Of course you don’t. Today would be a good day to start. But now I ain’t giving you that drink ticket so you can get more tequila and make more bad decisions..

Jimmy leaned forward and squinted..

at me..I held my ground..

“What’s your name? Oh, Dave from Pittsburgh..ok, Dave..lemme guess, you like the Steelers?”

Goddamn it..the F’in name tag gets me again..these things are great..the casinos make us wear them, you know, so people will know your name..

Well, let me..

tell you, this ain’t Cheers..

Everybody doesn’t have to know your name..

Most times, it is a good thing and leads to great conversations..

It’s like anything else. When you want em to use your name, they call you home slice. And when you’d rather have me call you anything...

but the name your momma gave you, they act like they’ve known you since kindergarten and keep saying your name..

Don’t be that guy when you go to the book..we know our name and we know where we are from, we don’t need the reminder..be clever and weave it in..

I digress...

Back to Jimmy..

“Oh yeah, I like the Steelers. What’d you say your name was?”

“Jimmy. And I like the Browns this week.”

Oh, now you are a comedian and a tout. Perfect. Now who’s working.

“Ok, Johnny. Thanks for that. How about Bama and Georgia today? Who you like?”

“It’s Jimmy. Not Johnny.”

No shit. Like I didn’t know. Lucky I didn’t call you Baker Mayfield for the Cleveland shot. Remember, I’m the Consig. People tell me everything and I hear it all.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. It’s early in the morning. My bad. Jimmy, who you like in the...

Bama-Georgia game?”

Please Lord, come with something here..and then, like a lightning bolt delivered by Zeus himself...

“Bulldog money line. Bama is going down.”

It was Saturday morning in the book, but we might as well been in a gospel church with a choir.

I heard it...

clear as day...

I felt like Jake in the Blues Brothers..I could hear James Brown delivering the sermon...hell, I’d do cartwheels down the middle of the book if I could do a cartwheel (I cannot)...Bama-3 it is..

“Thanks, Johnny. I mean, Jimmy. I did it again. And here, take..

the drink ticket. You are gonna need it.”

Want a tip today?

Be a good wing man and watch out for your boy Jimmy.

Enjoy your college football Saturday in the book.

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