Good Morning to all specially my fellow Muzlim men having multiple wives. Yes, now I’m in this elite league! I never thought it’d be such a fun to have four wives. Salma is filling my hookah, Shabana cooking Biryani, Arfa massaging my legs & one name forgotten is performing mujra
The fourth wife performing Mujra on old Bollywood songs like Inhi Logon ne liya dupatta mera & Salame-e-Ishq meri jaan zara kabool kar lo & whose name I had forgotten came close when I offered her 2K currency notes & said “Janaab iss naacheez ka naam Nida hai, Nikaah kabool hai”
Just when I was having fun with all wives eating Biryani smoking Hookah, drinking desi watching Mujra, I was told by maid Rana that an old but dashing neighbour has come & he is looking very angry. That man just stormed in & slapped Rana & Nida screaming “Ye koi Ramdikhana hai”
Those asking if they can come and enjoy the feast & mujra by Nida & Afra sorry Arfa, you scoundrels, it’s a private affair, only my relatives, friends, neighbours, their friends, acquaintances are invited and are welcome to join me, not everyone
I’m a man of principles, by whatever name you may call Salma Shabana Arfa & Nida, dare not call them ‘Item’, I won’t tolerate it and you know what happens when I get angry. Last time one a man called Salma, Item, I got so angry so much angry that I had two extra drinks
Just another morning update, item number 1, Salma is counting kids, item 2 Shabana is picking lice from item number 3, Arfa’s head & kiIIing them with a small hammer that his Abu jaan gifted her, item number 4 Nida as usual practising Mujra on “Thhaare rahiyo o baanke yaar”

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More from @Ra_Bies

4 Apr
There is no rationale in lighting diyas, candles. It’s symbolism. It’s a symbol of solidarity.
What’s the rationale behind you praying, wishing birthday, diwali, Christmas? Will you wishing bring health & prosperity? No, it won’t but it’s symbol of your love & affection. Idiots
Why do you wish good morning, namaste, Ram Ram to your parents, kids, siblings, friends? Will it make their morning & day good? Do they get success happiness health in their life just because you wished them? No, it’s a small way of showing your love & affection. A symbol
And idiots, you’re ashamed of this act, this symbol of solidarity by lighting a diya, a candle, torch? You’re ashamed of showing & expressing unity for ONE India? Then you should be ashamed to be an Indian. You’re just a blot. You can’t be patriotic to any nation wherever you go
Read 4 tweets
28 Mar
Blame it on Delhi or central Government but no one foresaw what was foreseeable that there are around a million labourers, rickshaw pullers, daily wagers migrants in Delhi NCR who do not have a permanent job
These people don’t have savings, they live in rented rooms, some even homeless. There is no possible way unless preparations would be on war footing, that these people could stay here, may be in temporary camps and get food
Making temporary arrangement is a Herculean task, you need to maintain social distancing, clean place to sleep, toilets and then logistic for their food, medical & other daily needs. It has been a lack of foresightedness & now we are in a mess
Read 8 tweets
26 Mar
Coronavirus is the utmost fear that human race needs to overcome. No matter how much time we take to win this battle, I have an apprehension and can predict with certainty that anarchy will spread not only in India but in many countries
Even if this disease is contained within a few months’ time worldwide, the wheel won’t start rolling again immediately. Jobs will be lost. With total shutdown almost everywhere in the world, production of goods has stopped
Soil can’t produce grain on its own, machines can’t produce goods without raw material and men. No matter if FMCG companies are allowed to operate, manufacturers won’t be able to manufacture anything without raw material and men
Read 6 tweets
16 Mar
After spending a fabulous night with Chachaji, in the morning Ed was reading newspaper when she said “Pundat, duniya khatam ho jaayega, Corona”, Chachaji who was still in bed screamed “You bloody tharki lady, I’m breathless & tired after 3 shots & you’re still asking me corona”
Ed was a curious woman. He asked “Pundat, quarantine kya hota, ismein kya karta”. An obedient Chachaji took her to a luxurious farm house, spent a day with her. On the way back a happy Ed said “Pundat agar ye quarantine hota toh hum ko phir se jaana maangta quarantine mein”
Ed told Chachaji “Pundat, Modi ne appeal kiya Sunday ko candle light karna, hum bhi karega”. “But Ed darling, you don’t have candles, what’d you do?”, Chachaji asked. “Hum thumhara candle le ga, dekho kitna bada aur hot hota”, Ed said holding Chachaji’s candle in her hands
Read 4 tweets
10 Jan
RWs are jealous that the president of JNU student union Aishi Ghosh is so hot, so pretty that’s why they’re blaming her. These lowlife Sanghi chaddis don’t want a beautiful woman to come forward, lead our student union, our society, our nation, this planet, solar system & galaxy
RW are targeting Deepika Padukone for meeting Aishi Ghosh alleging Deepika is supporting someone responsible for the violence whereas Sanghis don’t know that Deepika had other plan, she went near Aish & just whispered “Behen, kuch beauty tips do, I too wanna look pretty like you”
As I woke up, it was very cold and I was craving for tea. I asked our old very faithful & sincere house help Pushpa to prepare tea for me. She started crying stating gas cylinder is empty. “Pushpa, I hate tears”, I told her & moved to change the cylinder
Read 4 tweets
6 Dec 19
Kabhi lagta hai lungi ka bhi encounter ho jaaye. Those wondering who is lungi, let me tell you, he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He wears specs & has a son who is hybrid of elephant & hippopotamus. Lungi man despite having a minuscule tool often calls young women from Uzbekistan
I don’t understand why Rajmata fell for Lungiman. I can well think of women falling for Spiderman, Superman, Ironman & even Iceman but this Lungiman is complete ewww. I was told, day before he met Rajmata after many days, & just when he was kissing her, his dentures fell off
Another conspiracy theory resurfaces, it was Lungiman who helped Rajmata in getting eliminated her husband who was becoming a hurdle in her lust for men. Lungiman came in rescue of Rajmata & she rewarded him by appointing him her treasurer to take care of all kind of her ‘assets’
Read 4 tweets

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