Eketi Profile picture
16 Nov, 12 tweets, 3 min read
"Yesterday night at about 7pm, I was riding when I saw a dead body. Or so I thought.

The body was still, in the middle of a residential area in Garki, Abuja. That’s not a regular sight, so I stopped. There where people around the body.

“The man just slumped,” someone told me.
They didn’t know what to do; whether to touch him or leave him.

“There's a hospital on this street,” I volunteered.

“Let’s get a doctor,” said another person.

“Na BP,” someone whispered.

But nobody seemed ready to listen to me. Then something happened.
The dead man came back to life.
Just barely. His breathing was shallow, uneven, almost nonexistent.

"He’s alive!" we shouted.

Then confusion set in with different suggestions.

“Let’s take him to the hospital.”
“Let’s move him across the road.”
“Bring water, let’s pour on him.”
They moved him to a more comfortable place. Now he was lying on the pavement with his head resting on the side of a dustbin.

There were two smartly dressed mobile policemen with us. Their vehicle was parked opposite were the man fell.

“He needs Sprite,” one of them said.
He quickly went to their van and brought half a bottle of Sprite. He held it to the man's mouth, as he was too weak to hold the bottle. He drank it slowly.

At that point, someone offered to take him to the hospital. His car was available but only if one of us would go with him.
Our man on the floor at this time had recovered enough to talk.

"Please, I just need food," he whispered. "I haven’t eaten for five days."

He looked like he was in his early thirties but life had dealt with him unfairly. We knew he was telling the truth. His eyes weren’t lying.
“I have a degree in English. I've been walking all day and haven’t eaten. Just give me food, please."

He starting crying softly. An elder from a church across the road joined him.
My eyes watered as I fought off a tear.
Even policemen were teary.
“What kind of country is this?” we asked no one in particular.

It was a rhetorical question. One that has been asked across the ages and across generations. Asked by the masses, and even by those sitting on the bodies of the masses. A question I suspect, may never get an answer.
People sprung into action. Some went for food, some brought water. The elder rushed to get his pastor and I asked him if he had a phone.

I wrote my number on a piece of paper and put it in the file that housed his CV. Yes, he had a CV with him. I told him I didn’t know what...
to do for him but I'll try.

The boy almost died yesterday, from sheer hunger.

I wore my helmet, kicked my bike to life and rode of. Tears strolled down my face as I rode. I couldn’t help thinking of a country that chews its young and spits them out like sugar cane chaff.
This is the one who fell down where others could see and help. I can't help but wonder about the thousands no one saw, who died alone.

UPDATE:

The world is filled with empathetic people. Simon has been offered a job as a guard and N197,000 has been raised for him as of today.
The outpouring of love has been overwhelming. Two days ago he was on the floor, passed out and almost dead. Today he has a family.

We probably can’t save the whole world but we can start from somewhere. One person at a time, is enough sometimes."

- Bassey Ekpo Bassey.

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More from @eketiette

13 Nov
On Project/Master's Thesis Defence in Nigerian Federal Universities - A thread:

"We had to pay hotel bills for the members of the panel. You could also offer sex, if your supervisor is the devil's apprentice. Transport money inclusive."
- Erdoo N.
"I decided I'd never have anything else to do with Nigerian universities, the day I saw people defending their masters dissertation presenting coolers of rice, garden eggs and crates of drinks to their supervisors. I legit thought someone was getting married."
- Bibian U.
"We we're told we'd pay 60k each, for both entertainment and logistics of external supervisor."
-Chiamaka O.

"We spent the night prior to my mother's defense at the University of Ilorin, cooking coolers of rice with assorted meat for the lecturers."
- Omekagu.
Read 15 tweets
12 Nov
"Eketi, this is in response to your post about the worst breakup.

We started dating in secondary school. Everyone in our families knew we were in a relationship. We both came from a poor background, so, going higher institution was impossible.
After WAEC, I decided to work as a security guard and sponsor her through school with my salary. The plan was after she finished, she would work while I went to school.
Before she finished, she got pregnant. Since everyone knew it was mine, our families decided we should wait until after she finishes, before we got married.

She gave birth to a boy.
Read 16 tweets
24 Sep
I am fourteen.

My sister has just returned from her afterschool lesson. Her face is stormy as she dashes to her room, unwilling to respond to our greetings and customary question, “how did your lesson go today?”

Mama asks me to go see to her, ask what is the matter.
I find her lying face down on her bed, head buried in the pillow, quiet sobs shaking her shoulders.

My sister is reserved. She doesn’t speak unless she wants to; she’s always had a mind of her own. So, I know that nothing I say will make her tell me what’s wrong.
We will have to wait until she’s good and ready. So, I put my hand on her shoulder and tell her everything will be fine.

I say, “You can always tell me what’s bothering you, you hear?"

I get up and head for the door. My hand is stayed when I hear her whisper something.
Read 20 tweets
13 Sep
Years ago, my father said something to me that was a teaching moment.

A former tenant had owed rent for almost three years. Then his light disconnected by NEPA. When they left, he began to tap light illegally. If NEPA came for an inspection, my father would have to pay the bill.
Knowing this, Dad did what was necessary; he called a professional to come and disconnect the light.

While he stood to the side and watched as the electrician did his job, one of the man’s children came outside. On seeing the two men, she lost it.

"You're very wicked!
Stupid man!” she railed. “You’re doing as if you’re God because you’re the landlord. You want us to live in darkness? Wicked man! Bet here, we’ll have our own house one day. If you like, cut the light.”

Fact to note: my father was older than that girl by at least thirty years.
Read 9 tweets
4 Sep
My name is Kokonne and I used to see things. My grandmother, Nnenne said it was a gift and her husband Etebom agreed. But my parents were not so inclined.

"She has the gift," Etebom said.

"Ete, mbok kutañ uto iko ado," my mother would say. "Don't encourage her fantasies."
But they weren't fantasies - the gift was real.

It was there when I told Iya Philomena in our compound that one day, her husband would lock the door of their bedroom and dance the horizontal waist dance with the landlord's daughter.
She said she'd heard tales of my predictions and knew I was a witch.

But she said very little else afterwards, when I told her that I knew she was already doing the horizontal dance with the landlord and that her son, Ugo, had come after their third dance session.
Read 11 tweets
6 Aug
"Vacancy! Vacancy!! Vacancy!!!

Electrical Engineer needed. Fresh Post-NYSC. Twenty years experience.

Must be able to think fast and on their feet. Must be able to drive.

Must know a bit about everything.
Must be able to recognize an ancestor at first glance.
Must have commissioned at least five capital projects in the five major cites in the country.

Must be able to work under pressure.

Must be able to read people and act accordingly in the work place.

Must be able to treat fellow workers of simple ailments like malaria...
cardiac arrest, nephrotic syndrome, etc. and know a little bit about cesarean section just in case.

Must be able to represent the company well, both outside and in court.

There's a special consideration for applicants who can raise the dead.
Read 4 tweets

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