Did I tell y'all about the SNAIL ADVENTURE DRAMA the other day?
I have a 20 gallon fish tank, divided approximately in half with plexiglass because FISH DRAMA.

I have three fish in this tank.
On one side, living by herself because she is old and bitchy and DONE making friends, there’s Mazikeen, my 3+ year old pink rescue black skirt tetra GloFish.

On the other side, Rey and Sarah Harding, regular black skirt tetras who do not want to be friends with Mazie.
A few months ago, my friend’s snails had babies and she gave me two of them.
Pets for my pets!
Mazie’s is Castiel and Rey and Sarah's is Loki and they both use they/them pronouns because snails don't really give a shit about gender.
Well the other day, I couldn't find Cas. Sometimes they hide in the little cave, but not that day.

Nope. They were visiting Loki.
I don't know how they fit, but they must've climbed up the plexiglass divider and squeezed through the tiny not-quite-Cas-sized gap between the divider and the lid to the tank.

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More from @JenLRossman

18 Nov
OK so I have two ideas for this Christmas horror story.

The basic idea is that the main character is too busy for Christmas and love but she comes back to her hometown for Christmas and needs to save the Christmas pageant because all the kids are getting eaten
She discovers that her tendency to overwork is based on growing up believing in the Yule cat, a lorge boy who eats children who are lazy.

And I want it to be like a romance movie. Like all of the beats of a romance, but horror instead

Here is where I have options
OPTION ONE.

The Yule cat is the "Love interest". They have a meet cute but she doesn't realize he's the one (… eating all the children). She doesn't even recognize him from high school (… when she believed in him and no one else did)
Read 7 tweets
18 Nov
Hopefully going to watch more/most of labyrinth tonight. And I should figure out what movie to do next.

I have: netflix, prime, hoopla. Let me go through them and see what is interesting…
My main criteria for movies are:

🦋 Science fiction or fantasy
🦋 movies I haven't seen since forever
🦋 movies everyone else in the world has seen and somehow I missed
🦋 I am gay

A movie should get at least two of those points
I have never seen any of the Star Trek movies. I don't know if I have to watch them in order or not. But that is an option
Read 9 tweets
18 Nov
By popular demand, it is time to watch Labyrinth #JenLiveTweetsMovies
I am a 30-year-old queer person who has never seen Labyrinth and it's time we change that.
Things I know about this movie:

Muppets
David Bowie

I fail to see how these things go together but I am intrigued.
Read 51 tweets
17 Nov
Oh shit I have idea for this Hallmark channel Christmas movies horror story thing.

OK so. The main character is a workaholic who doesn't have time for love or Christmas, but she goes home anyway and that's where she meets the Yule cat.
The Yule cat is a kitty from Iceland. And he is an absolute unit.

Like. He protec, he attac, he eat children as snac. Except without the protecting part
His whole deal is making people not be lazy. He checks in on you once a year, and if you haven't made a new article of clothing for yourself? He eats you
Read 6 tweets
17 Nov
So I'm thinking of writing like… all the story beats of a classic Hallmark channel Christmas Romance movie. But instead of a ruggedly handsome Love interest, it's a monster.
Like. Not even like the monster is disguised as a human or anything. Just… Lady goes to her Christmas hometown for Christmas at Christmas time, because you know… it's Christmas
And she has a meet cute but instead of it being a rival bakery man, it's the monster. But maybe she's too busy for love/monster hunting so she doesn't realize right away.
Read 5 tweets
16 Nov
Going to write a story for Hellmark, the "small town Christmas movie but with monsters" anthology. Which requires research into Hallmark Christmas movies.

No, I am not watching any. You can't pay me enough LOL

But I will give commentary as I look at the Hallmark website
Oh dear. How many of these people do you think are famous country singers i don't recognize? I am 99% sure the sparkly lady in the middle is someone. I think she's in commercials for stuff. Image
Well this is a surprise. There are gays! Unfortunately they are one of three couples trapped in Christmas bubbles. I think the guy in the middle is the guy from the last movie? Image
Read 25 tweets

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