Thread by @JenLRossman

By popular demand, it is time to watch Labyrinth #JenLiveTweetsMovies

I am a 30-year-old queer person who has never seen Labyrinth and it's time we change that.

Things I know about this movie:

Muppets
David Bowie

I fail to see how these things go together but I am intrigued.

Also I have been warned about his pants and how tight they are and I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about this. I don't think I'm going to feel good about it but we'll see

So let's do this!

@CaitGAuthor I'm watching labyrinth

Oh, that is a good font

The opening credits feel like a final fantasy game from the early 90s

Before I get any further, does it have anything to do with the labyrinth from Greek mythology. Is David Bowie a Minotaur.

Wait, songs plural? Is this a musical?

Don't just run across the street in front of cars!

The owl is up to something, right.

I do not like the lady on the porch and I hope she gets eaten

I don't actually know if anyone gets eaten in this movie. But if they do, I hope it's her because she won't let the dog inside when he is very clearly a good dog

Oh, I identify very much with Sarah.

Oh God there's goblins I'm so excited

Oh, her story is real. Does she know that. Oh no. I needed this movie when I was little I think

SHE'S GOING TO SAY THE WORDS

She said the words😱

Young me absolutely would've had a crush on Sarah

Don't trust that owl. It's gonna throw up Mouse cocoons and that's not gonna make it easier for the police to find Toby. Just gonna make them think a mouse was involved in the crime

Oh no there's a shadow

Ohhhhhh I like his make up

Oh, he's fabulous😱 he's like. You know those birds. The ones that do the dances for the lady birds and they have long black feathers? He's like if one of those made a wish to be a human man who gives me confusing feelings

I would trade the baby for a shiny thing in an instant

Snake! Yay! Hello pretty danger noodle

That must be the labyrinth. I'm very excited about this

It doesn't look that hard, Sarah? Yes actually it really does. Maybe draw a map of it while you can see it before you start? Because this looks difficult

I mean I would just climb up to the top and walk along the walls

Did I just see a urinating Muppet

What am I watching. Fairies bite. I freaking love this.

Oh no the door disappeared

Wait no it didn't I misunderstood

Is this the same movie as pans labyrinth. No, right?

I DON'T LIKE THE EYES GROWING OUT OF THE WALL

I don't like the looks of anything here but also I love the aesthetic of this movie

The fuzzy blue thing with the scarf is my favorite thing that has ever existed and I have only seen it for one second but I will love it forever

You can tell I'm tired because I'm really dramatic right now

Oh I do not trust goblins to be babysitters

Oh the pants

I am. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Why are there so many chickens and why is he dancing and singing AND WHY THE PANTS

Why was there a tiny Italian living under the tile floor

OK but the pants. Why are they so tight

Very confused about my feelings for the goblin King.

Like. I am attracted to men. But not generally ones that look like him. In general I don't care about pants stuff unless I really really like a person.
Is this what it's like for straight people when they realize they might not be straight

Gay people are good at riddles

WHY DO THE WALLS HAVE HANDS I DO NOT LIKE THAT

NOW THE HANDS ARE FACES
I think I speak for everyone when I say no fucking thank you

Why can I see so much of his chest skin.

There's nothing actually gay about this movie, like. Except everything.
I can't figure out exactly why it is a gay movie. It just is.

The walls need to stop having body parts immediately

OK and there's his pants again, I'm going to bed