Marry who gets you o. I'm extroverted for Africa. I attend every function I'm invited to. My wife on the other hand is in love with her indoors & can't be bothered. She cheerily waves me off when I set out from my numerous waka. Not someone that will tight face for you.
These things are usually obvious at courtship stage. While courting my wife, when she comes over, I'd wake up Friday night to go clubbing. Let's go. She'd say she's not up for it. Just come back early. & I will to warm embrace. No issues. Still the norm 14 years post marriage.
Wahala usually arises when you condone things before marriage & seek to alter them post-marriage. Your marriage is usually shaped during courtship stage. Whatever you're not cool with, voice out & watch your partner's reaction & decide if you can deal. Very critical.
Truth is people usually stray far from their default settings. Love with your eyes open. Don't get carried away. Whatever traits your partner exhibits during courtship will likely grow exponentially during marriage. Set boundaries. Establish limits.
Choose your flights. Many flights are ahead of you so don't sweat the small stuff. If it is not fundamentally harmful, bone. Don't expend energy stopping your partner from living their default setting if it is not disrespectful to you. Many fights are mere ego trips.
If you determined as I did that your marriage will be for life, then you will learn to compromise the small stuff. Marriage has been described as a journey in compromise. A happy home is a product of compromise. A conscious decision not to be offended. Work towards it.
Peace is a sine qua non to a happy marriage. You must be able to look forward to coming home. May our joy-sapper not be waiting for us at home. Again, the signs are there from courtship. Shine your eyes. Don't ignore them.
May God guide your steps.
Udo diri unu.
Ugwu Ngwu.
Udo diri unu.
Ugwu Ngwu.
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