Ramki Profile picture
15 Dec, 9 tweets, 2 min read
Bill Bernbach, the most quotable of all the advertising Gods, once said, "It's not a principle till it costs you money.' It is only as an entrepreneur (I wish there was a less ostentatious word for this), that I fully understood the genius of that simple sentence. +
Every now and again, you meet a moral dilemma. They are the most troubling kind. Unlike the 'sambar daalke ya alag?' variety of dilemma. I'm talking about business opportunities that come with the faint, or not so faint, whiff of blackness in the lentils. +
We live in a grayscale world. Viewed through multi-hued glasses. A world where doctored and engineered have unflattering meanings. Forget about squeaky clean, nobody even seems to be scratchy clean. Even hallowed seems like a typo for hollowed. +
Shouldn't we take briefs at face value? After all, we are communicators, not investigators. Shouldn't we take shelter behind caveat emptor? Pass on the legal responsibility to the client and the rest to the customer? +
We are sloganeers and image makers, aren't we? Paid for our cleverness. Not for our, what's that word, scruples? That word is always a bit elusive. +
The customer knows that's not a brand of playing cards. And that mouth freshener from a tin doesn't help seal billion dollar deals. And that applying a facial cream will not solve racial problems. Nor will not applying it, for that matter. +
So, do we draw a line? Or let those others above and below us in the chain do that. And quickly pass the parcel before the music stops. +
It's all about the music isn't it? The jingle of money. And if there are any false notes in there, you just hope that nobody notices. All that matters is that when your head hits the pillow every night, those false notes don't sing a cacophonous lullaby that keeps you awake. +
How ironic is it that Bernbach, who was jewish, is best known for his work for the Beetle? A car that was the brainchild of Adolf Hitler. Did he have sleepless nights deciding whether or not to work on the brand? I have no idea.

ANTHE.

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More from @ramkid

5 Dec
This is a story about how a mobile phone saved my life. Some people say it's a true story. I am on the fence about it. +
I was driving my car down a lonely road in a jungle. At night. I was alone. I left my charger at home. My phone battery was down to 10%. The network was like an adolescent boy's moustache. In some angles you could faintly discern it. +
Did I tell you I was in a jungle? You know they have wild animals, right? I should have checked my tyres. That's what I was thinking, when my engine coughed. Trouble comes from where you don't expect it. After some Nazir Hussain style death bed histrionics, my engine died. +
Read 16 tweets
16 Nov
He'd have to go, she thought. She couldn't stand the sight, smell, or sound of him any longer. +
18 years ago, a common love for Agatha Christie brought them together at a pavement book shop. Animated discussions about their favourite Poirot mysteries fuelled a whirlwind romance that ended in an impulsive marriage. +
He then gradually crushed her life to fit into 634 square feet of utter frustration. And when he started working from home, it felt more like 240, give or take the balcony. +
Read 13 tweets
13 Nov
'All you need is one thing, dude. One thing that you can do better than anybody else in the world. And you're sorted', he said taking a long drag. I could tell it was good weed. It reminded me of the smell that lingered around the vestibules of Ganga Kaveri Express years ago. +
'Give me an example', I said. 'There's a guy', he continued, 'who only drives his car in reverse gear. Even in heavy traffic. That's his thing. TV channels from around the world come to shoot him.' +
'That's rubbish,' I said, 'He can't get rich doing that.' 'Oh, you want to get rich?', he murmured, 'There's a guy who can hurl a ball extremely fast and accurately at the base of three sticks placed some 20 yards away. He's making lots of money.' +
Read 10 tweets
6 Nov
The famous adman's phone rang. It was his old art partner from decades ago. Kulkarni. Whose every scribble was frameworthy. He could hand-letter almost any font from memory. "32 point Optima bold , 10% condensed?" No problem, he ghe! +
Before it became an entirely useless skill , he could order typesetting that fit his layouts to the t. He would say 'Body copy in 12 point Helvetica, 14 pt leading, left justified as per scribble'. The last full stop would land exactly where his scribble predicted it would. +
He went through tracing pads faster than copywriters ran through their Reynolds. He would read the (not yet) famous adman's copy and say, "Very nice. Can you reduce copy by 15 to 20 words? I am thinking Bernhard will look nice, no? Fred Woodward style madhye karu ya" +
Read 13 tweets
2 Nov
I know some people are really confused about my stories. Are they real, made up, or a bit of both? This one, I promise, is a hundred percent true. It's about a one-eyed monster called The Great Horned Yokelops, and how I vanquished him. +
'Really?', I hear you say, 'This time the poor bloke has totally lost it.'
Well, if you will be patient, I will furnish undoctored photographic evidence as well, somewhere along this thread. +
A human would describe the GHY as a ghost like figure with a giant yellow eye that dominates its body, and two magnificent horns. No arms or legs to speak of. PFA an artist's (ahem, ahem) rendition based on reported sightings. +
Read 10 tweets
29 Oct
My dog was walking me, taking the usual route. Housing societies on either side. Some falling apart, some given a facelift, and the few that pushed through redevelopment, stood taller than the rest - in characterless and tasteless modernity. +
The fifty-something year old societies almost always have a couple of garages at the far end of the plot. Owned by the two people who had Premier Padminis back in the day. These garages, at some stage of their life cycle, become the springwells of desi entrepreneurship. +
They are where Manju Beauty Parlour, Rao Tutorials, SRS Real Estate, Rekhazz Boutique, Rakesh Investments, Singh Caterers begin (and often end) their journeys. +
Read 10 tweets

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