Last night while researching frailty scores, I vividly remembered being paged at 2am by the paging operator to call a patients family member while I was working in the ICU (back in the day when I did such things 😅)
Things were calm - and I figured a patient family member paging in the middle of the night was probably important - so I called:
“Is this Dr. Weeks?”
“Yes”
“you may not remember me, but I’m ___ you took care of my dad a few months ago and I wanted to talk about his paperwork.”
Now this was curious. This patient died but my mind is a Rolodex of patients I’ve pronounced so I remembered this family well.
“How can I help you?”
“Well I noticed in the admission note you wrote and the discharge summary you listed “failure to thrive” as the chief concern.”
“Yes that’s why the nursing home sent him in”
“But my dad didn’t fail to thrive. He was just old and had cancer. It was just his time”
We discussed the meaning of “failure to thrive”- a term that in adults generally is used to communicate that an elderly patient or patient w/ chronic illness is in a state of decline manifested by poor appetite, lack of weight gain or weight loss & inactivity.
On its own it gives the reader very little information about what’s going on with the patient - one can “fail to thrive” because of metastatic cancer that no longer responds to chemo or infection or depression or dementia or all of the above.
So a former patient’s child was calling me to have the documentation on their dad’s hospital paperwork changed. More specifically:
“I want you to edit out the word fail - he didn’t *fail* anything”
I discussed w/ an attending via email & we decided to write a note reflecting the concern about the terminology & clarifying extent of the patient’s physical condition at admission.
Maybe it was the fatigue of grief but somehow this unsatisfactory solution was sufficient.
Anyway -we use a lot of formal and informal terminology in medicine that shuffles patients to one side of value binaries:
the failed/the successful;
the victor/the vanquished.
In reality - growing old, getting ill, dying & death are more grey than they are black or white
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Being sick is bad enough - fatigue, pain, shortness of breath. I imagine that to be a member of the majority caste in this country is to be able to just be sick. To be able to focus energy on getting well and maybe (because medical capitalism) how to pay.
There is so much more on the minds of Black patients - considering if the hospital you go to will treat you well (or at all). To have to, in the midst of the emotional and cytokine storm of infection, muster strength to fight for adequate care. To trade rest for diligence.
I try to be thoughtful about what I write/say because words matter. I don’t always get it right, but this is a hill I am willing to die on.
*clears throat*
🗣 We don’t need to fix Black people’s mistrust. We need to fix medicine’s lack of trustworthiness. #COVID19#CovidVaccine
It isn’t enough to “remember Tuskegee.” The Tuskegee Syphilis Study ran from 1932- 1972. There’s segregation and disregard for humanity happening in the here and now.
40+ years after Tuskegee ended & 50+ years after “whites only” signs came down and hospitals are still segregated spaces! There are hospitals where it is rare to find a Black patient or provider.
Transparency involves being honest abt who/what you are.
So it’s probably less benevolence driving the consideration to prioritize minorities & more interest convergence. Minorities r disproportionately impacted by the virus & are a large portion of essential low wage workforce
It is in the interest of Black people to take a vaccine that could curb community spread of a virus that is killing us AND it is in the interest of a country that wants to get back to “normal” to not have a workforce that isn’t sick/vulnerable & overcrowding hospitals.
Dear America (the non-racist half):
As a trauma survivor I wanted to remind us that we don’t owe kindness, grace, conversation, understanding or respect to abusers. It is not our job to rebuild bridges others burnt.
Saving the souls of abusers is not the victim’s responsibility
It is not to us to placate the half of the country that hates all that isn’t white, cis, male, hetero, protestant, English speaking and able-bodied.
Our primary responsibility is to ourselves - securing our health, safety & freedom.
We, as victims of trauma, having begun the work to save ourselves, do not need to prove our goodness by doubling back to rescue the ones who burned themselves while attempting to torch us.
To suggest that *we* must now “set aside our differences and come together” asks too much.