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David Burge Profile picture
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28 Dec, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Meanwhile, writers at The Onion sink further into demoralization and despair

politico.com/news/magazine/…
Save 95% on your Zoom meeting fake pretentious bookshelf costs with Bookshelf Wallpaper By Dave

Use coupon code IMSMART
For a convincing 3-D background bookshelf look without the backbreaking labor every time your get evicted, enroll in Dave's Inflatable Classic Bookshelf of the Month Club
Pro tip: just change your Zoom camera setting to low res, that way nobody notices your book shelf is all 1980s VHS pornos

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
28 Dec
Screw the Lamborghini Countach, the Mustang highway interceptor was the coolest car of the 1980s
True story, in the early 90s you could buy these all day long from DPS surplus for $2500-$3000
Calm down, Lamborghini fans. This is an actual gearhead's car, not a fantasy bedroom poster for 8 year old boys that you will never actually own.
Read 9 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
28 Dec
Pro tip: if you want to fake an accent for attention at bars, pick British. Drunk chicks dig it, and no tedious language classes
The coeds of Ottumwa Body & Fender still speak of the mysterious ascot-wearing playboy exchange student Lord David Smythe-Burgestone
Let's face it fellas, you'll never convince a chick that you grew up in a castle with a flat nasally Upper Midwesternese
Read 6 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
27 Dec
What happened then?
Well on Twitter they say
#DavesCarIDService grew 3 sizes that day.
*The Grinch here is obviously impaled on the grille of a 1949 Mercury.

OK, time to get to your ID requests and puzzle and puzzle until my puzzler is sore.
Another friendly reminder to use the #DavesCarIDService hashtag to make sure your request doesn't get lost.

Earliest this pic could be is very late 1950; on left in order
49-50 Chevy
41 Packard
49-50 Chevy
49-50 Chevy
51 Dodge
50 Pontiac
Read 17 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
26 Dec
prepping for today's #DavesCarIDService I saw this neato pic from the always wonderful @TracesofTexas (forwarded by @DruncleWill) leading down a weird historical rabbit hole. First, I can say the truck here is a 1910-15 Universal. Next, the rabbit hole.
Confession: even in my advanced age and state of automotive OCD, I had previously never heard of Universal Motor Trucks. But here it's conveniently labeled as such on the truck's chassis. So I decided to dig for more info.
Warning: this will be a long thread about obscure industrialists from more than 100 years ago that ultimately has no moral, other than stuff is more connected than you think. If that is tedious to you, you might as well mute this thread now.
Read 33 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
25 Dec
Dave’s homemade Christmas ice cream flavors for 2020: Brach peppermint and bourbon & Heath toffee
*the bourbon & Heath toffee doesn't have actually Heath bars or any kind of chocolate in it, just the toffee bits.
For full sized ice cream maker: 3 cups sugar + 4 cups whole milk + 4 cups heavy whipping cream + 2 tbsp vanilla + pat of butter + shot or 2 of bourbon. Mix over low heat then cool. Churn until semi firm, add pack of Heath toffee bits, churn until done

Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
24 Dec
Image
*Mermaid show at the Polynesian Room, Yankee Clipper Hotel, Ft Lauderdale.

I enjoyed the show but cannot in good conscious put it in my Tiki bar top 10, thanks to the dipshit DJ spinning Pitbull and whatnot. Tiki bar music should be lilting Hawaiian guitars & Martin Denny
please do not reply about the NY Times Tiki article, I already vented my spleen about that yesterday
Read 5 tweets

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