Even as a young man I knew I wanted to write. I felt it every time I held a pen: I listened to everyone tell me I was good. You soon believe it & conjure it as a purpose: you commit to nothing else. You think if I get there, all will be solved. Purpose becomes nirvana.
But it is not true, this narrative we are sold. Purpose is not a destination. You think when you get there, money will start pouring in. Everyone will seek your company. That you will have everything you ever needed & everything you ignored. That happiness will be a constant.
Purpose is not the beginning of life. Purpose is a collective product of your life. The food you enjoyed, the moments you shared with loved ones. The time you were at the barber's. Even the heartbreaks you suffered. In business, or relationships. The risks you took.
Purpose is a suitcase of the moments in your life. Certainly, not an atonement for the missed moments. You get there and you'll ask: "what next?" But next has always been right next to you. Purpose is good, but it is no substitute for life. You get there, & it is just another day
Once upon a time, a small fish swam to an adult fish. He said: "Sir, I seek the ocean. Where can I find it?". Adult fish says, "you are in the ocean". Small fish goes, "No sir, this is but water. I want the ocean". And that is how we let life pass us by, never enjoying the waters
We conjured a glory so far away, we were blinded to the grace of everyday life. And when we got there, we discovered that purpose was but a continuation of life. Not the end, or the beginning. Enjoy today more, take in the air around you. Life is for living,
I am still living in purpose. To be disciplined. I meet new people, & opportunities. But I am trying harder too, to be less linear: To commit to a little more than this nirvana I have conveniently conjured as an atonement for all my corruption. What I am tomorrow, starts today.
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