While everything was generally terrible today, I did have this quite un-small Cornish Pasty.

It was spectacular. Image
For those asking, it is filled with meat and potatoes. Almost like a shepherds pie in a buttery pastry.

(Not my actual pasty but looked more or less like this) Image
Wait, I didn’t mean potatoes. I meant vegetables. Carrots, potatoes, etc.
My son and I split one at 2. We are both still full.

But I bought two. So I have a whole ‘nother one... and all this talking about it is making me want to heat it up.

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More from @TheRealHoarse

9 Jan
Somehow, the very worst fuckopotami (plural of fuckopotamus) have gotten the wholly errant message that the people they have horrified for four years are now hoping for a group hug.

Speaking only for myself: fuck the absolute entirety of that.

1/
I’m talking to you, @senatemajldr

I’m talking to you, @GOPLeadership

I’m talking to you, @marcorubio

I’m talking to you, @Jim_Jordan

I’m talking to you @SteveScaliseGOP

I’m talking to you, @FoxNews

I’m talking to you, #MAGA

2/
Fuck every last one of you.

We didn’t want to win the White House, Senate, and House because this is a playground game of kickball where you win or lose and then just play again.

3/
Read 13 tweets
9 Jan
Right now, there are tens of thousands of people who fully believed:

1) the scumbags were actually the good guys
2) the good guys were criminals
3) the scumbag heroes were going to wipe out the good guy criminals

And now the scumbags they thought were heroes all just got banned
These Q following whackadoos fully believed this was the giant day of reckoning where everyone from Obama to Pelosi was going to be destroyed.

And now, all the people who told them that just got wiped out on Twitter, FB, etc.

Imagine the world-rocking cognitive dissonance there
Some are going to get with reality upside the head like a 2x4.

Most though... they can’t even process what just happened... and the people they rely on to spoon feed them nonsense just went bye-bye.

Going to be a wild reckoning over in their whackadoo corners.

Total meltdown.
Read 5 tweets
8 Jan
Some of the dopes who worship Trump are having a crushing realization that they got played by an idiot and are now screwed.
Sadness is settling over the citizens of Dumbfuckistan like a golden fog.

It’s like the final scene of The Usual Suspects but with the world’s dumbest detectives unraveling a riddle everyone else had solved five years ago.
Read 4 tweets
7 Jan
Can we start a master thread of all the geniuses getting fired for storming the Capitol yesterday?

Drop any stories about the firings in the comments.

#TraitorsGettingFired
Read 6 tweets
4 Jan
One of the saddest aftermaths of that Bean Dad asshole’s bullshit yesterday and my vomitus overshare afterwards:

The sheer volume of people raised by toxic parents who said they never had kids because they worried they couldn’t raise a child well.

Abuse has a long tail.

1/
If that is you and you are still at a stage of *deciding* whether or not to someday have kids, just know that you can indeed be a good and loving parent.

You inherited nothing. Toxicity isn’t written into your DNA.

2/
Parenting is ‘will’ more than ‘skill’.

If you have the will, you will find (or can learn) the skill.

I think being a product of some dysfunction can be, ironically, a strong foundation for becoming a loving parent.

You know the impact of dysfunction.

3/
Read 4 tweets
3 Jan
I’ve had a couple Guinness so I am just the right level of disinhibited to lay out why I am white-hot with incandescent aggrievement about that dumb Bean Dad mother****** and the people defending him.

Buckle up. Turbulence may occur in flight.

1/
If nothing else, this will allow people to understand me better. Some will like me more; some will like me less. I do not remotely care which camp people fall into.

I had a fucked up childhood. It was an insidious kind of fucked up. Not physically abusive in a way that “counts”.
I spent weekends hostage to a depressed, alcoholic father in a small New York City apartment.

In summer, if the apartment windows were open when I came back from the schoolyard across the street and I could hear music playing too loud, it was going to be a long night.

3/
Read 20 tweets

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