Thread by @michaelharriot

The most trifling men in Black music history:

A thread

10. The guy in Jodeci who’s trying to get you to “Stay”

1st of all, he’s not sorry he left you crying, he’s really just sorry he’s all alone.

But here’s the effed up part:

He only wants you to stay FOR A LITTLE WHILE!

You better get your good bra & leave! You know what up.

9. Frankie wants to tell you something “before he lets go.”

He’s CLEARLY telling you that he’s gonna break up with you!

Even though he swears there’s “nothing, nothing, he wouldn’t do,” there is one thing:

As him for his stimmy before he lets GOOOOOOooooooOoOOOooo

8. Why does Jamie Fox want to “Blame It” on everything else?

The fact that he’s drinking vodka AND Henny should’ve tipped you off. Everyone knows Hennessy is the Satan’s urine.

This nigga clearly has a drinking problem.

7. I’m not saying “Billie Jean” is Michael Jackson’s lover...

But you should get a paternity test before you believe the kid is not his son.

That boy looks like Michael spit him out!

6. Tyrone’s lil friend be tripping

We all go through financial hardships and your woman is supposed to have your back.

But asking Erykah to pay your way and your homeboy’s way and even your cousin’s way is a bit much.

YOU KNOW she’s an artist & she’s sensitive about her shit.

5. I know she said she’s “Not Gon Cry,” but...

She was your lover AND your “secker tear” and you didn’t give her a DAY OFF!

I don’t even know what kind of labor tearing seckers requires, but after 11 years of sacrifice, you could’ve at least taken her to a breakup dinner.

4. Usher not gonna do ANYTHING

You two OBVIOUSLY have some kind of hookup arrangement, which is none of my business. But if he was REALLY gonna leave the one he’s with and start a new relationship, it probably won’t be with you.

Wait...You think you’re the ONLY ONE???

HAHAHA!

3. The guy who makes doves cry

Doves HATE to see abusive relationships. You’re in one. That’s why they’re crying.

I know Prince’s family. While his father was a little ostentatious, I wouldn’t call him “TOO bold.” And I’ve PERSONALLY seen his mother satisfied more than once.

2. That guy who won’t say your name:

Why are you even asking him so many times? You know why he’s acting shady and ain’t calling you baby. Why are you even taking this kind of abuse? You’re BEYONCE!

Doves are crying right now.

1. “The Boy” is not EITHER OF YOURS!

Brandy! Monica! Look at yourselves! You were BEST FRIENDS! Now you’re out here fighting, putting your business in the street, making yourselves look like fools while everyone’s talking about you.

And you know what that boy’s doing right now?

I just called him. He said he’s trying to find a new “secker tare” but I know he was lying.

I think he’s on the phone with Beyoncé.