Lately when sitting in silence, in meditation or in prayer, I get this sense of detachment from the ego, as though Iyad is a false self that I'm inhabiting. As though I'm not really Iyad but I'm looking through his eyes
It feels like Iyad isn't essential and isn't really that important. He's a good ego but he's just an ego. He has his own story and so does everyone else and theirs are as valid as his. He doesn't get to pursue his story at anyone's expense, or they at his.
This detachment seems to be persistent. It's heightened when I sit in silence, but carries over throughout the day. It doesn't feel distressing or bizarre, like PTSD dissociation episodes. Rather, it feels warm, wise, and matter-of-fact, and leaves a feeling of deep gratitude.
Beyond the mind there is deep silence, and beyond the deepest silence is enormous love and wisdom, and it can pull you in if it wants, if you submit to it. You just have to know your true place and your true size, and keep showing up.
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