I worked in the dean’s office, the student community engaged learning office and the women’s center. I always worked at least 2 jobs plus a summer job as a student. I think a lot about how different my experience would have been if I didn’t have to do that.
I think having to work so much only to have white boys whose parents were paying their tuition question why I couldn’t just chill out & party like they did was an early awakening moment for me. They lived in a totally different universe.
One time I had to explain to a peer that I only ate on campus because my scholarship included room & board. He genuinely asked me why I didn’t have a credit card from my parents to use and I didn’t know how to explain it to him.
To be fair, when I started making money I did eat off campus sometimes and I did go to a good deal of parties. Working did not stop me from having fun entirely. I just had to actually think about the money I spent.
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Story #thread. Content warning: medical interactions
OK so as a fat Black queer disabled woman I hate going to the doctor. Some medical professional always says some weird, oppressive, offensive shit to me. So I only go when it’s bad.
Recently things got bad. My feet felt like they were asleep all the time & it started to hurt. So I went to the doctor & explained my symptoms as well as other stuff I’ve been dealing with: fatigue, seasonal depression, & occasional issues with my eyes.
Rather than just tell me to lose weight she actually listened & sent me for a bunch of tests. Today I learned that I have B12 deficiency—as in levels so low they could not give an proper reading. Somewhere below 170 (typical range is 200-800).
These are terrorists.
These are terrorists.
These are terrorists.
These are terrorists.
White men have been terrorizing BIPOC, women, & queer folks for generations. They cannot stand that we have survived.
Call them what they are.
These are terrorists.
I spent my young adulthood being told that Brown men with turbans and guns who hated America and hated democracy and hated freedom and hate women and hated queers were the threat against my life and wellbeing but I have always known that white men are the most dangerous people.
White men commit most mass murders. White men control most of the money not being used to feed and house the poor. White men ARE ACTIVELY TRYING TO STOP AN ELECTION. White men are the terrorists. Always have been.
Professors of color, has anyone written about the complicated dynamics & emotional harm of grading student work that reflects their unconsciously held racist beliefs that just get dropped on you suddenly? Asking for me.
And generally my rule of thumb is don’t talk about student work publicly, especially critically, but also how the fuck are Black & other POC professors supposed to develop strategies & support each other in the wake of white student racism if we don’t talk about it?
My students are 95% trying very hard and would not consider themselves racist but every finals season I get at least 5 papers that are emotionally horrific for me to grade. They are often trying to learn and don’t mean to be harmful but WOOF. Fucking woof.
What if I just anxiously livetweet my window install because having strange men in my house makes me hyper aware of everything and too distracted to work. Here is the crane downstairs below my unit that they’re gonna use to lift the picture window up here.
Last night I moved all my plants away from the windows and Ritter into the spare bedroom or the loft. It’s 23 degrees outside and 8 windows need to be removed and replaced in the living room (which is open to the dining room, kitchen and loft/office) and master bedroom.
They said this will basically take all day which makes sense. It’s a lot of work. But between COVID & the weather, this is a pretty miserable day.
Today friends I ask you to pray to Beyoncé or whom/whatever you believe in bc I’m getting new windows installed AND the first set of finals are due which means: 1. My one or more windows will be off during 20 degree weather 2. There will be strange men in my house all day...
3. I may have to interact with said men 4. I will be freezing in my house trying to handle all the student emails and meetings that happen right before papers are due
These windows were ordered in July when I bought the condo as part of the closing deal but I have a really big picture window which had to be specially made and got massively delayed in production so it just finally is now being installed!
Oh did you want a long early morning rant #thread? Yes? No? Too late, here it is. Let’s talk about how the insistence on returning to college football not only a reflection of racism & capitalism, but also the deep failures of patriarchal culture. Ready? Let’s go.
Ok so yesterday I talked a bit about racism & capitalism in the organized sport industry particularly football. Here’s that thread. Note: I’m sure there are scholars who have written about this, this is just my Black feminist quick take.
So football relies heavily on the athletic performance of Black men for the entertainment & profit of predominantly white men. In the NFL when players protest, they’re told to shut up & play or that they make enough money so they shouldn’t care (racist capitalist perspective).