Professors of color, has anyone written about the complicated dynamics & emotional harm of grading student work that reflects their unconsciously held racist beliefs that just get dropped on you suddenly? Asking for me.
And generally my rule of thumb is don’t talk about student work publicly, especially critically, but also how the fuck are Black & other POC professors supposed to develop strategies & support each other in the wake of white student racism if we don’t talk about it?
My students are 95% trying very hard and would not consider themselves racist but every finals season I get at least 5 papers that are emotionally horrific for me to grade. They are often trying to learn and don’t mean to be harmful but WOOF. Fucking woof.
These moments are the moments where I remember my job is 8000% a job & I deserve every fucking penny for this work. Pay us for teaching your children to do and be better. It sometimes literally eats parts of our souls in the process. I have to heal after a large bout of grading.
The where online asynchronous teaching really fails for me. Many of my students this semester I’ve only interacted w/ via grading. They watch recorded lectures & don’t meet with me. When I’ve had a student in my classroom for weeks it’s easier to be more empathic & less reactive.
Not knowing my students makes it harder for me to be a good teacher. Taking this lesson for myself into the next term.
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