1/
#WhatsYourWhy: Day 6 of 7
You
You know how much I love you. We’re so close that sometimes we do that thing where we call each other at the same time. Because, in that precise moment, we both felt a cosmic need to connect.
That close.
And, on top of that, you trust me.
#WhatsYourWhy: Day 6 of 7
You
You know how much I love you. We’re so close that sometimes we do that thing where we call each other at the same time. Because, in that precise moment, we both felt a cosmic need to connect.
That close.
And, on top of that, you trust me.
2/
I told you that I thought you should be vaccinated. You said something like, “I hear you.” But that? That was before we actually had a #COVIDVaccine.
So I didn’t press you.
But then the news hit. 2 vaccines—and an EUA for them to be injected into arms ASAP.
Yup.
I told you that I thought you should be vaccinated. You said something like, “I hear you.” But that? That was before we actually had a #COVIDVaccine.
So I didn’t press you.
But then the news hit. 2 vaccines—and an EUA for them to be injected into arms ASAP.
Yup.
3/
I brought it up again. You answered quickly.
You: “I’ll get it.”
Me: “Wow. Okay.”
And you went back to doing whatever you were doing.
Me: “That's all? Did you want to talk about it?”
You: *shrugging* “I mean. I’m getting it. So . . . “
You laughed.
I did not.
I brought it up again. You answered quickly.
You: “I’ll get it.”
Me: “Wow. Okay.”
And you went back to doing whatever you were doing.
Me: “That's all? Did you want to talk about it?”
You: *shrugging* “I mean. I’m getting it. So . . . “
You laughed.
I did not.
4/
Me: “You seemed on the fence before.”
You: “Yeah. I mean. . . it’s a big decision.”
Me: *squinting* “But like. . . is it?”
You: “For me? Yeah.”
*silence*
Me: “Well. I'm glad you're gonna get it.”
You: “Mmm hmm.” *looking back down*
I stared at your profile. Waiting.
Me: “You seemed on the fence before.”
You: “Yeah. I mean. . . it’s a big decision.”
Me: *squinting* “But like. . . is it?”
You: “For me? Yeah.”
*silence*
Me: “Well. I'm glad you're gonna get it.”
You: “Mmm hmm.” *looking back down*
I stared at your profile. Waiting.
5/
You: *looking up at me* “What?”
*laughter*
Me: “I just. . .”
You: *sighs* “You're a doctor. Plus. . .you came up different than me. So, like . . .for you. . .it’s a fast yes. For a lot of people, it may also be a yes . . .just not a fast one.”
Just not a fast one.
Hmmm.
You: *looking up at me* “What?”
*laughter*
Me: “I just. . .”
You: *sighs* “You're a doctor. Plus. . .you came up different than me. So, like . . .for you. . .it’s a fast yes. For a lot of people, it may also be a yes . . .just not a fast one.”
Just not a fast one.
Hmmm.
6/
You: “I think how you come up and your world have a lot to do with it.”
Me: *jutting out lower lip* “That’s real.”
You: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Me: “So. . .if you weren’t connected to me, would you've said yes?”
You: *pausing* “Probably. But it might've been a slower yes.”
You: “I think how you come up and your world have a lot to do with it.”
Me: *jutting out lower lip* “That’s real.”
You: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Me: “So. . .if you weren’t connected to me, would you've said yes?”
You: *pausing* “Probably. But it might've been a slower yes.”
7/
You: *thinking* "Then again, I don’t know. Because. . . “
You paused, deciding on your next words.
Me: “Because what?”
You: “Because I’m tired, man. That might be the main thing driving me.”
I turned those words over in my hands like a seashell.
“Because I’m tired.”
You: *thinking* "Then again, I don’t know. Because. . . “
You paused, deciding on your next words.
Me: “Because what?”
You: “Because I’m tired, man. That might be the main thing driving me.”
I turned those words over in my hands like a seashell.
“Because I’m tired.”
8/
You: “It’s winter. And you know I hate winter. But I'm usually cool because of spring, summer, and fall.”
Me: “You’ve never been team winter.”
You: “Hells no.”
*soft chuckle*
You: “But beach trips, visiting home in the summer, homecoming. . . that gets me through.”
You: “It’s winter. And you know I hate winter. But I'm usually cool because of spring, summer, and fall.”
Me: “You’ve never been team winter.”
You: “Hells no.”
*soft chuckle*
You: “But beach trips, visiting home in the summer, homecoming. . . that gets me through.”
9/
Me: *sigh* “Yeah.”
You: “So that’s probably the main thing that makes me want a #COVIDVaccine. My mental health." *shaking head* "I’m sick of this shit.”
*silence*
You: “It's funny . . . y'all tell folks all the bad stuff that could happen. And I get it--I do. . . ”
Me: *sigh* “Yeah.”
You: “So that’s probably the main thing that makes me want a #COVIDVaccine. My mental health." *shaking head* "I’m sick of this shit.”
*silence*
You: “It's funny . . . y'all tell folks all the bad stuff that could happen. And I get it--I do. . . ”
10/
You: “. . .but for whatever reason, that doesn't do anything.”
Me: “No?”
You: “Nah.”
*staring at me*
You: *pats chest* “When you grew up struggling? Or you struggling? Somebody threatening you with something bad don’t mean shit to you. That's called life.”
Ooph.
You: “. . .but for whatever reason, that doesn't do anything.”
Me: “No?”
You: “Nah.”
*staring at me*
You: *pats chest* “When you grew up struggling? Or you struggling? Somebody threatening you with something bad don’t mean shit to you. That's called life.”
Ooph.
11/
You: “But not being able to move? Or do the stuff that gives you your recharge? That’s what did it for me. That.”
Me: “Hmmm.”
You: “That, and you. I mean, I know how much you love me. And I trust you. So that helped, too."
Me: *listening* "Well, I'm glad."
You: "Me, too."
You: “But not being able to move? Or do the stuff that gives you your recharge? That’s what did it for me. That.”
Me: “Hmmm.”
You: “That, and you. I mean, I know how much you love me. And I trust you. So that helped, too."
Me: *listening* "Well, I'm glad."
You: "Me, too."
12/
Me: “So . . . one more question--how do we get more folks to a slow yes? If it isn't telling them of what could happen?”
You: *thinking* “I don’t know. But I guess the first step is knowing that a yes is even possible.”
Damn.
Me: “So . . . one more question--how do we get more folks to a slow yes? If it isn't telling them of what could happen?”
You: *thinking* “I don’t know. But I guess the first step is knowing that a yes is even possible.”
Damn.
13/
You: “Some'll be set in their ways, yeah. But all some folks need is for you to get off them fear tactics and scripts and listen.”
Me: "Dang.”
You: “Like . . . these folks trying to scare the shit out of people who living through hell already?” *sighing* “That ain't it."
You: “Some'll be set in their ways, yeah. But all some folks need is for you to get off them fear tactics and scripts and listen.”
Me: "Dang.”
You: “Like . . . these folks trying to scare the shit out of people who living through hell already?” *sighing* “That ain't it."
14/.
You: *sigh* “I just want . . . no, I just need to get back to normal. Or close to it.”
Me: “Me, too.”
Me, too.
Me: “It’s gonna take a lot more yeses for that. Fast and slow ones.”
You: “I know. But we can get there.”
Wait. What?
That response surprised me.
You: *sigh* “I just want . . . no, I just need to get back to normal. Or close to it.”
Me: “Me, too.”
Me, too.
Me: “It’s gonna take a lot more yeses for that. Fast and slow ones.”
You: “I know. But we can get there.”
Wait. What?
That response surprised me.
15/
Me: *eyes widened* “You think so?”
You: “Yup. We all have to think so. Nobody wins if they go into it thinking they can't. Nobody.”
Me: “That’s a whole word.”
A “word.” As in a sermon of gospel truth.
A “whole word.” As in an entire sermon in just a few words.
Yeah. That.
Me: *eyes widened* “You think so?”
You: “Yup. We all have to think so. Nobody wins if they go into it thinking they can't. Nobody.”
Me: “That’s a whole word.”
A “word.” As in a sermon of gospel truth.
A “whole word.” As in an entire sermon in just a few words.
Yeah. That.
16/
And like the end of any sermon, the only thing remaining was a benediction. Which, for you, was just a single word.
You: “Yup.”
And that was the end of that conversation.
And like the end of any sermon, the only thing remaining was a benediction. Which, for you, was just a single word.
You: “Yup.”
And that was the end of that conversation.
17/
Partly because of love.
Partly because of exhaustion.
And all on your terms.
Not motivated by horror stories.
Because fear isn’t new to some people--
including you.
And powered by mandatory optimism.
This was your why.
Yours.
I love you so much.
#BlackWhysMatter
Partly because of love.
Partly because of exhaustion.
And all on your terms.
Not motivated by horror stories.
Because fear isn’t new to some people--
including you.
And powered by mandatory optimism.
This was your why.
Yours.
I love you so much.
#BlackWhysMatter
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