There are 4 spaces in life, 3 we can do something about. We spend too much time and energy focusing on the one that we cannot and ought not try to manage.

1/
1. Space inside me. What is going on in me? How do I know when I am anxious? We all carry a bubbling collective of pressure, pain, assumptions, inner critic etc that can block our awareness of God and distort reality.

2/
2. Space between people. This can be space between me and you or space between others. Ever walked into a room with people and you felt off? You might be picking up the space between others.

Anxiety is contagious and often the most anxious person has the most power.

3/
3. Space between me and God. It is disturbing how often I forget God With Us.

Chronic anxiety seeps through us like that foam insulation. It finds the nooks and crannies and squeezes out our awareness of God.

But it can be quickly displaced with some tools.

4/
4. The space inside them.

This is the space we spend too much time and energy worrying about. If you've ever thought, 'what were they thinking? Why did they do that, Why wouldn't they _____' you're fixated on the one space you cannot manage.

5/
A guaranteed source of anxiety: when you fixate on space #4.

But Paul reminds us that one evidence of the Spirit's work in our life is SELF control. But we spend so much energy on THEM control.

That's a big fat nope.

6/
But the space between you and them? There is much you can do.

So often we blame, rather than looking at the dynamic between me and them. We tend to cast out our responsibility rather than ask the harder question, 'What am I doing that it making the dynamic worse?'

7/
And the space inside me? That is the space where I begin. SO often I am operating under my own steam, white knuckling, applying 'try harder' and 'more of the same' to what isn't working.

Pause, breathe. Practice radical self kindness.

8/
Tell your Inner Critic to get as tape measure and check the length from east to west.

and most importantly, remember the God who is kind, loving, patient. Immanuel. Not just a Christmas God.

9/
The 4 spaces. It has helped me clarify and focus.

2021 can be different than 2020, but only if you are different. 2020 didn't cause your soul condition, it exposed it.

You may need to dig deeper this year, but I assure you, God is waiting for you there.

10/10

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More from @stevecusswords

11 Jan
The events of the week have shaken us all. Murray Bowen described 'societal regression.' Anxiety is contagious in any group and a society is one giant interconnected group, so over time, societies become more and more anxious unless the anxiety is displaced.

1/
Displacement requires calm, non reactive leadership at every level and we have lacked that at a federal level, hence the massive escalation of anxiety on the 'system' of our society.

2/
Bowen predicted that as we regress we would no longer be able to listen to each other, we'd become highly reactive, continuing the vicious cycle of catching each others' anxiety and reactivity.

We are there.

3/
Read 17 tweets
22 Dec 20
My friend @heyrobkelly was recently sharing his own journey of being adopted as a kid, the power of being intentionally chosen and how it helped him from a young age experience God's love as a beloved chosen. Rob talked about going before a judge to be legally adopted...

1/
...And how he saw the judge as a positive person because the judge 'could do what I could not do for myself: use legal power and authority to place me in a family.'

Rob then went on to talk about the image in the Bible of God as judge.

2/
We focus on 'judgement' and giving an account etc, but Rob was reminding us that God as judge also means 'God can do for us what we cannot do: use God's authority to place us into a family.'

I was struck dumb by this and have been pondering it since.

3/
Read 12 tweets
21 Dec 20
"Busted!"

I was walking into a store when a member of my congregation walking out saw me and yelled loudly with great delight, 'busted!! Ha ha ha!'

I stood there utterly puzzled. Her tone was playful and aggression of it really stopped me in my tracks.

1/
She saw my confusion and introduced herself as if I didn't know her. That added to my confusion. Her family has been at the church 10 years, serve, I have been highly involved in a crisis they had a few years back.

2/
So when she told me her name, it added to my confusion. Does she think I don't know who she is? I know her family well. I have been in some of their more challenging times.

But of course she interpreted my confusion as 'the pastor doesn't know me.'

3/
Read 15 tweets
19 Dec 20
Every generation holds a spiritual value different from the generation before. And we often arrogantly judge the previous generation for their value, because we see the temptation of it and the hypocrisy of it, but can be blind to our own.

1/
A Boomer visited our GenX college ministry class. He said, 'Always look like a preacher. Even if you are changing your oil and need to run to the store for more oil, shower, put on a suit and tie to buy the oil.'

We thought he was nuts. Actually, I still think it is nuts.

2/
But he was a Boomer. He valued personal holiness.

So his temptation was to 'look holy.'

While we judged him and then wildly swung the pendulum, the other way, we valued spiritual hunger more than we valued personal holiness.

3/
Read 6 tweets
9 Dec 20
John says 'perfect love casts out fear.'

Perfect love displaces fear. I think fear can displace our awareness and experience of perfect love. It cannot displace God's love, but it sure can displace our awareness of it.

1/
Knowing you're in anxiety's grip is actually not as easy as we think. We tend to bear down and try harder instead of pausing.

One way to notice it: you are no longer aware of God's presence and God's love.

It could be that your anxiety has displaced your awareness.

2/
Warning Signs:

- you start to think it is all on you/all on your shoulders.
- 'if it is to be, it is up to me.' An anxious statement if ever I heard one.
- An impending feeling of doom or hopelessness.
- Rigid thinking, either-or locked in thinking.
- double binding.

3/
Read 12 tweets
4 Dec 20
The Inner Critic.

Ugh.

Its hard to dislodge the power and influence the IC has over us. Here is a helpful tool:

1. Find at least one other who cares about you and get together.

1/
2. Have your friend write down the messages your IC tells you as you share it.

3. Then ask her/him to write the adjectives of these messages, ex: 'harsh,' 'unrelenting,' 'condemning.' etc.

So now you have the actual messages on one line and descriptors on the other.

2/
4. Now write the descriptors of God's character and God's posture toward you. Patient, loving, kind etc.

5. What if I were at least as ________ to myself as God is.

3/
Read 18 tweets

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