Thread by @stevecusswords

"Busted!"

I was walking into a store when a member of my congregation walking out saw me and yelled loudly with great delight, 'busted!! Ha ha ha!'

I stood there utterly puzzled. Her tone was playful and aggression of it really stopped me in my tracks.

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She saw my confusion and introduced herself as if I didn't know her. That added to my confusion. Her family has been at the church 10 years, serve, I have been highly involved in a crisis they had a few years back.

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So when she told me her name, it added to my confusion. Does she think I don't know who she is? I know her family well. I have been in some of their more challenging times.

But of course she interpreted my confusion as 'the pastor doesn't know me.'

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I said, 'Of course I know you!' and we chatted briefly in the breezeway. I was not composed enough to explain that my confusion was due to her sudden hijacking.

I walked in to shop. Why was I 'busted?'

I was shopping during business hours. Was that it?

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Does she not know pastors work odd hours?

Then it hit me. I was walking into a wine shop. She was walking out of a wine shop.

"Busted" means, 'I caught you shopping for alcohol.'

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Does she think that is wrong? And if so, does she think that congregants can buy wine by pastors cannot?

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I'm often asked about my statement, 'burnout has more to do with unaddressed chronic anxiety than it does workload.'

this is a decent example of the issues pastors face.

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Of course when she yelled, 'busted' she was externalizing her own fear of a pastor seeing her coming out of a wine shop, so she put that on me in a playful accusation.

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One of the biggest challenges a pastor faces is to be seen as human. So many externalize their own assumptions and shame onto a faith leader.

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And of course, another topic for another thread: too many pastors exploit power, exploit shame for their own advantage. I understand the peril of this territory.

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But it hurts and is confusing when you bump into the assumptions and externalizations people put on you as a pastor.

8+ years of pastoring, connection and preaching with this lady and she still thinks buying wine is somehow wrong for either of us.

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Or maybe she has a serious alcohol problem and her statement was a cry for help.

What is my next move? Probably to ask her what the bust was and who was busted in this case and why.

This thread is just a taste of what goes through my head in situations like this.

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I love pastoring. It is a genuine privilege to serve God. People invite me into the depths of their lives. But I had no idea how personally I'd take it. How much mental energy it wants to consume. And painfully, how many people paint onto me an image that doesn't fit.

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2020 is wrapping up, pastors. Christmas almost here: always a highlight for me. Getting to declare God With Us In It All.

I pray you take some down time before 2021. I don't see the 2021 external forces getting better. It will require a deeper internal fortitude.

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May the peace of Christ that you so passionately believe in and poignantly proclaim be yours this week. May the depth of your soul and ever corpuscle of your being drip with the grace and love of God that is yours in Jesus.

And happy Monday.

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