Every generation holds a spiritual value different from the generation before. And we often arrogantly judge the previous generation for their value, because we see the temptation of it and the hypocrisy of it, but can be blind to our own.

1/
A Boomer visited our GenX college ministry class. He said, 'Always look like a preacher. Even if you are changing your oil and need to run to the store for more oil, shower, put on a suit and tie to buy the oil.'

We thought he was nuts. Actually, I still think it is nuts.

2/
But he was a Boomer. He valued personal holiness.

So his temptation was to 'look holy.'

While we judged him and then wildly swung the pendulum, the other way, we valued spiritual hunger more than we valued personal holiness.

3/
I think the GenX temptation then is to 'look hungry.'

GenX preaching is full of 'hunger over holiness' sorts of stories.

Millennials took it further and elevated the value of authenticity. We hear it over and over again, how a church is authentic.

4/
So the temptation isn't to 'look authentic' I think it is more insidious than that. The temptation is 'curated authenticity.'

Selective, good looking, beautiful life authenticity.

Curated brokenness and mess.

5/
And I think we tend to keep our temptation and then adopt the next generation's so our GenX and Millennial sisters and brothers: looking hungry, curating authenticity.

I wonder what the next Gen will value over these and what their unique temptation will be.

6/6

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More from @stevecusswords

21 Dec
"Busted!"

I was walking into a store when a member of my congregation walking out saw me and yelled loudly with great delight, 'busted!! Ha ha ha!'

I stood there utterly puzzled. Her tone was playful and aggression of it really stopped me in my tracks.

1/
She saw my confusion and introduced herself as if I didn't know her. That added to my confusion. Her family has been at the church 10 years, serve, I have been highly involved in a crisis they had a few years back.

2/
So when she told me her name, it added to my confusion. Does she think I don't know who she is? I know her family well. I have been in some of their more challenging times.

But of course she interpreted my confusion as 'the pastor doesn't know me.'

3/
Read 15 tweets
9 Dec
John says 'perfect love casts out fear.'

Perfect love displaces fear. I think fear can displace our awareness and experience of perfect love. It cannot displace God's love, but it sure can displace our awareness of it.

1/
Knowing you're in anxiety's grip is actually not as easy as we think. We tend to bear down and try harder instead of pausing.

One way to notice it: you are no longer aware of God's presence and God's love.

It could be that your anxiety has displaced your awareness.

2/
Warning Signs:

- you start to think it is all on you/all on your shoulders.
- 'if it is to be, it is up to me.' An anxious statement if ever I heard one.
- An impending feeling of doom or hopelessness.
- Rigid thinking, either-or locked in thinking.
- double binding.

3/
Read 12 tweets
4 Dec
The Inner Critic.

Ugh.

Its hard to dislodge the power and influence the IC has over us. Here is a helpful tool:

1. Find at least one other who cares about you and get together.

1/
2. Have your friend write down the messages your IC tells you as you share it.

3. Then ask her/him to write the adjectives of these messages, ex: 'harsh,' 'unrelenting,' 'condemning.' etc.

So now you have the actual messages on one line and descriptors on the other.

2/
4. Now write the descriptors of God's character and God's posture toward you. Patient, loving, kind etc.

5. What if I were at least as ________ to myself as God is.

3/
Read 18 tweets
3 Dec
I've been doing more study on the constant critic(s) that every church leader deals with. Its amazing how a steady group of 2-5 critics can really tax a leader's health and impact them way beyond their numbers. ie, more than 3 feels like 'legion' to a leader.

1/
All vocations face criticism of course.

I wonder if church criticism is unique because:

a) church leaders tend to conflate personal identity and church health more than most.

b) critics falsely think they know about leading a church because they attend a church.

2/
For example, doctors and teachers face criticism. People come into a Doc with diagnosis from Internet etc. But I wonder if attending and serving in a church makes someone more confident that they know when they really don't know.

3/
Read 13 tweets
12 Nov
My chaplain supervisor said, 'The ER doesn't cause the dynamic in a family, it simply reveals and then heightens what it already there.'

Close families got closer, tense ones got worse.

1/
My early reps in Family Systems Theory were about reading the family dynamic in the first 3 minutes.

Once you learn to notice anxiety between people, it is amazing how quickly you can notice healthly or toxic dynamics.

2/
I think COVID is the equivalent of the ER. It isn't causing starved souls in pastors, it is revealing the condition of our soul health and amplifying it.

This can feel threatening but is actually a gift.

3/
Read 11 tweets
11 Nov
A top source of anxiety for a church leader: a text or email from a member or leader saying some variation of, 'I want to meet as soon as possible. It is about the church.'

A thread of what happens in the leader's inner world and how to begin differentiation

1/
First the leader's mind typically goes into overdrive. Anxiety floods you and you begin to fill in what you don't know (what they want to meet about) with what you think (many various possibilities about what is could be.)

2/
This is your way of trying to manage anxiety: filling in the gaps, often to a pathological level, before you meet.

But being in anxiety's grip is like drinking salt water. It will never lead you to quenching that thirst, it will just get worse.

There is another way.

3/
Read 13 tweets

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