THREAD: Here are 10 insights I've learned over the last 5 years coaching executives, entrepreneurs, and athletes.
On sustainable success, peak performance, and career advice:
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You've got to put yourself out there. You can't be the person who comes off as too cool to care but is actually just afraid.
Caring deeply makes you vulnerable. Why? Because there's a good chance things don't go exactly your way. But caring deeply is also the key to a rich life.
Trying to be "balanced" does not work.
When you care deeply about something it draws you in. That's the point. You don't need to force some kind of proportionate allocation of your life.
Aim for the self-awareness to PRIORITIZE and CHOOSE how you spend your time and energy.
Find and follow your passion is a load of crap.
Expecting to find something where everything clicks from the get go and is all good from there on out is a surefire way to never be happy.
Pursue your interests. Stay curious. Hone a craft. Passion emerges over years, not seconds.
Wherever you are, the goal post is always 10 yards down the field.
If you develop a mindset, "If I just do this, or just accomplish that, THEN I'll arrive," you're in for trouble. There is no arriving. The human brain didn't evolve for it. Enjoy the process. Be where you are.
Everyone wants to be SUCCESSFUL. But few people take the time and energy to define the success they want. As a result, they spend most, if not all, of their lives chasing what society superimposes on them as success.
Define your values. Craft a life around them. THAT is success.
Stress + Rest = Growth.
-Too much of the former not enough of the latter you get injury, illness, burnout.
-Too much of the latter not enough of the former you get complacency, stagnation.
This equation is universal. It holds true for individual and organizational growth.
Read as much as you can.
Books are the best bargain there is. There is no better place to get a deep distillation of insights and wisdom.
I've helped 4-time Olympians move on from sport simply by recommending books. I've helped founders navigate rough waters the same way.
Surround yourself wisely.
The people with whom you surround yourself shape you. We are all mirrors reflecting onto one another. Ancient wisdom traditions point toward this. Latest research points toward this.
We think too much about individuals, not enough about communities.
Marry self-discipline with self-compassion.
If you are a hard-charging, Type-A "pusher," that's great! But you better work on being kind to yourself too.
It is hard to be a human. It is hard to care deeply. You've got to learn to love yourself and create space for your pain.
Don't forget to experience joy.
This sounds self-evident, but it's not. The risk of being super focused on progress and growth is that you get so caught up in where you are going you forget to relish moments along the way. No Zen on mountain tops. Only Zen you bring up there.
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1. Strong community 2. Ask for help when you need it 3. Rest when you're tired 4. Get going—mood follows action—when you're stuck 5. Patience—can't force turn-arounds 6. Self-compassion (hard to be human) 7. Tragic optimism (this sucks, but here's hope too)
1. Strong Community
The people around you shape you. We are all mirrors reflecting onto each other. Quality over quantity—think about having a few people who you really trust and know that can keep you grounded when you soar and provide a cushion when you fall.
2. Ask For Help When You Need It
There is this misnomer that resilient people are super strong on their own. But in reality, they are super strong because they understand when they need help and they are not hesitant to ask for it.
Sustainable peak performance rests on a foundation of pretty basic principles. Once those are nailed—simple, not easy—there is lots of luck, uncertainty, and changing tides. Most of a coach's job becomes walking the path with the person.
(Short thread on coaching.)
First and foremost, you want to help the person develop both knowing and, more important, CONSISTENT DOING of key skills and principles. The knowing part is easy, the consistent doing part is hard. Coaching is about teaching and then providing gentle nudges to keep executing.
A good coach also helps the person see what they don't otherwise see. Lots of highly driven people are so focused on what is ahead that they can miss important things on the side of the road. A coach points out those things, and then discusses which of them should be addressed.
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I'm doing my best to be a signal amidst the noise.
The secret is there is no secret.
Stress + rest = growth.
Presence.
Patience.
Consistency.
Inside-out.
(Short thread.)
Secret is there is no secret:
Move your body.
Eat whole foods.
Build community.
Care deeply.
Hold pain tenderly.
Give help.
Get help.
Stay on path.
Fall off path.
Get back on path.
Be patient.
Accept what is—and keep going anyways.
Sleep when tired.
- Too much of former not enough of latter you get illness, injury, burnout.
- Too much of latter not enough of former you get complacency, boredom, stagnation.
Pursue just-manageable challenges. Make sure there is some space in between. Adjust as you go.
Secret is there is no secret. 13 rules. Modern science and ancient wisdom.
Move.
Eat whole foods.
Build community.
Care deeply.
Hold pain tenderly.
Give help.
Get help.
Stay on path.
Fall off path.
Get back on path.
Be patient.
Accept what is—keep going anyway.
Sleep when tired.
1) Move your body
Aim for at least 30 minutes every day. More is better. Walk. Run. Lift weights. Dance. Garden. If possible, do some of this outdoors. Whatever you do, don’t try to be a hero. Start small. Consistent effort compounds over time. Inertia works in both directions.
2) Eat whole foods
Do what you can to avoid stuff wrapped in plastic. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Pick one to three habitual eating patterns that aren’t great and upgrade them. Unless you find one that works for you AND fits the lifestyle you want, ignore diets.
1. Stop Resisting What's Happening. 2. Focus On What You Can Control 3. Nail Daily Habits 4. Use Routines 5. Stay Connected 6. Think Adaptation 7. Respond Not React 8. Show Up, Get Through, And Make Meaning On Other Side
(Thread.)
1. Stop Resisting What Is Happening
Resisting change and disorder may feel good in the short-term, but invariably leads to distress in the long-term. You’ve got to engage with what is in front of you, and wisely—which is what the following principles emphasize.
2. Focus On What You Can Control, Do Not Worry About What You Cannot
There is a difference between worrying about a situation one the one hand and taking productive action on the other. Whenever you catch yourself doing the former, use it as a cue to do the latter.
Intermittent fasting (IF) is the latest nutrition, health, and, in some circles, performance—both physical and mental—trend out there.
Here are some thoughts, based on evidence and theory.
(Short thread.)
For most people, intermittent fasting reduces calories. If you don't have the option to eat all day you'll end up eating less calories. Eating less calories is associated with weight loss. Being at a healthy body weight is associated with less disease and enhanced longevity.
Other claims about IF tend focus on health and especially longevity benefits *beyond* the practice's potential positive affect on weight control.
Research has shown IF activates certain pathways in the body, but no study (yet) has gotten to real-world outcomes we care about.