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Slava Malamud Profile picture
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26 Jan, 5 tweets, 1 min read
Dealing with anti-vaxers, according to national stereotypes (stolen from the Russian interwebs... a long one, so a thread).

Doctor: Do you want the vaccine?
Englishman: No
Doctor: All gentlemen get it
Englishman: Then, yes, of course
D: Do you want the vaccine?
German: No
D: This is an order!
German: Then, yes!
D: Do you want the vaccine?
American: No
D: Your neighbor is already vaccinated
American: Then, OK
D: Do you want the vaccine?
Frenchman: No
D: All gentlemen do it
F: So what?
D: This is an order
F: Don't care
D: Your neighbor...
F: Fuck him
D: Wait. You are French! Oh, sorry, we can't vaccinate you.
F: What do you mean can't vaccinate me? Vaccinate me now!
D: Do you want the vaccine?
Czech: No, and don't even try. I know all your tricks.
D (whispers): You know, I have given the Englishman, the German and the rest the Russian vaccine. I have a special one, not Russian, for doctors only. But it's not free.
C: (hands over 1000 euros)
D: Do you want the vaccine?
Russian: No
D: Ha, you are just not man enough to take it.
Russian: I am not man enough? Give me two, you shit!

D: Do you want the vaccine?
Pole: No, do you want wodka?
D: Sure. Besides, I don't have the vaccine anyway.

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More from @SlavaMalamud

Slava Malamud Profile picture
25 Jan
Here is a story on which several of my general circles of interest overlap quite wildly. Namely, it's Russia, politics, hockey and craziness. I will try to make it short, though this won't do it justice.
This is the story of Vityaz, the KHL's own Charlestown Chiefs...
Vityaz is a club that should never belong to a top-flight professional league. If you have ever seen Slap Shot, just give all the characters there a Russian accent, throw in a lot more criminality, and you will have the picture. They are as bush league as it gets...
Vityaz was founded by Russian mafia in the city of Podolsk, Moscow Region. The entire area was run by warring gangs in the 1990s and well into the 2000s, and the leader of one of them, Nikolai Pavlinov, was known for his posh manners, decadent tastes and the love of sports...
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Slava Malamud Profile picture
24 Jan
Comparing Trump to Navalny makes such perfect sense, it's obvious why Newt has been considered the right-wing's intellectual heavyweight for 30 years now.
Let's dig in.
1) Trump is a corrupt national leader ousted in a free and fair election, despite desperately clinging to power and attempting to destroy democratic institutions.
Navalny wants Russia, via elections, to oust its corrupt national leader who clings to power and destroys democracy.
2) Trump is an authoritarian who has abused power and bullied and persecuted his political foes, often endorsing violence against them.
Navalny has been a victim of power abuses, has been bullied and persecuted and had violence directed at him by an authoritarian.
Read 7 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
24 Jan
If you are not one of the 75+ million people who have seen this video on YouTube, here is Navalny's investigation into Putin's ridiculous $1 billion royal palace on the Black Sea, built on taxpayers' money.
You may need to sit down for this.
It's subtitled
Among the highlights:
- A full-size hockey arena built underground
- A full-size luxurious theater
- Handmade Italian furniture, with couches that cost $20-30K
- A hookah room with a stage for pole dancing
- A tunnel blasted through a hillside for a wine-tasting room with a view
- A private casino
- Thousands of acres of forests and vineyards
- $1000 toilet paper holders and toilet brushes
- A no-fly zone around the compound
The slush fund required to build the Venetian palazzo was started with money meant for purchase of medical equipment for hospitals
Read 4 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
23 Jan
#FreeNavalny protests underway all over Russia today.
Here is one brave policeman taking on a dangerous subversive agent.
Putin's hometown of Saint Petersburg. The aprly named Uprising Square.
Tverskaya St. in Moscow.
Read 16 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
23 Jan
There is absolutely nothing, nothing at all, that would make anyone watching the #Sabres play hockey in any way hopeful, excited or willing to ever repeat the experience again.
If a long-dead corpse still moving due to escaping gasses were a sports franchise, this would be it.
Literally. All attempts to revive the team with new talent or new coaching approaches are akin to giving electric shocks to a rotting corpse. It shakes up the maggots, but nothing more.
The Sabres are the most depressing sight in sports. They are not even adorable losers...
They are not "so bad, it's good" or "a ragtag gang of misfits." Their badness, their sheer, utter inadequacy is simply appalling. It's revolting. It makes one question the existence of truth, morals, right and wrong. It makes one doubt that there is a limit to human depravity...
Read 15 tweets
Slava Malamud Profile picture
21 Jan
I get a lot of questions about #Navalny. I am not the world's leading expert on the man, but I can answer most of them with enough veracity.
Specifically:
"Is it true he is a neo-Nazi/homophobe/mysogynist/anti-Semite?"
"What are the charges against him?"
"Why did he return?"...
"Why is Putin afraid of him?"
"Does he pose real danger to Putin?"

OK, let's start with the first one, because it definitely contains bad news.
Yes, Navalny has in the past openly promoted views that can only be described as white nationalist and xenophobic. No doubt here at all
He has attended and has been a vocal participant in "The Russian March", an annual gathering of right-wing nationalist groups, most of whom are unambiguously anti-semitic, anti-minority and doubtlessly homophobic. He has made videos portraying Muslims as pests...
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