My Wife @marybethdecker and I spent the day discussing marriage politics in her fic, "cast your bitterness into the sea" (archiveofourown.org/works/23633263) in which Wen Ruohan gets taken down by his much cooler older sister who then marries Jiang Cheng (shhh, it works, trust me).
And we realized that given the highly unbalanced ratio of male to female cultivators that we see in canon, and given the importance of getting married and having kids, it must SUCK to be a male cultivator in WWX's generation:
A thread.
A thread.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a cultivation family in possession of sons, must be in dire need of someone else's daughter.
If you're a male cultivator in WWX's generation, this is a problem.
If you're a male cultivator in WWX's generation, this is a problem.
Cultivators with high yang energy run to sons anyway, but the previous generation collectively made the error of going heir-and-spare, and STOPPING. To add to that, this generation seems to be composed entirely of extremely attractive overachievers. So, yeah.
Imagine being 6th on the cultivation world's list of most eligible bachelors, and having your competition be LXC, LWJ, JZX, WWX, and JC.
Just LXC and LWJ would be bad enough; they're impossibly handsome, well-educated, and polite.
Just LXC and LWJ would be bad enough; they're impossibly handsome, well-educated, and polite.
LXC's got a smile that can melt anyone's heart, and LWJ's ice-prince demeanour attracts all the girls who want to melt HIS heart.
Jin Zixuan is less of a threat because he's already betrothed (his mom got him betrothed to her BFF's daughter the day he was born),
Jin Zixuan is less of a threat because he's already betrothed (his mom got him betrothed to her BFF's daughter the day he was born),
which means the only other eligible Jin bachelor is Jin Zixun, and no amount of Jin money is worth having to marry THAT one.
NMJ's in there too, but what girl wants to live in a place called the Unclean Realm? Besides, NMJ is every girl's BROTHER'S crush, so that'd just be weird
NMJ's in there too, but what girl wants to live in a place called the Unclean Realm? Besides, NMJ is every girl's BROTHER'S crush, so that'd just be weird
And then there are the two Yunmeng Jiang boys.
So, unbeknownst to the actual Yunmeng Jiang boys (and LWJ, who's the only Lan who actually obeys the No Gossip rule), Yunmeng Jiang boys have a Reputation.
No one knows how it started, but rumour has it that Yunmeng Jiang's founder, Jiang Chi, fucked his way through the jianghu
No one knows how it started, but rumour has it that Yunmeng Jiang's founder, Jiang Chi, fucked his way through the jianghu
(think Li "Hot Grandpa" Zheng from Legend of Fei).
Along the way, he formed a sect, but nobody talks about that. Instead, everyone talks about how Yunmeng Jiang boys are WILD, they're CRAZY, they'll try ANYTHING once and PROBABLY LIKE IT.
Along the way, he formed a sect, but nobody talks about that. Instead, everyone talks about how Yunmeng Jiang boys are WILD, they're CRAZY, they'll try ANYTHING once and PROBABLY LIKE IT.
Oh, you think it's impossible to orgasm six times in one night? Well, you know what the Yunmeng Jiang motto is!😉
(It should be noted that there's no truth to these rumours; at least, not for this generation's Yunmeng Jiang boys, who are pure of both heart and body.
(It should be noted that there's no truth to these rumours; at least, not for this generation's Yunmeng Jiang boys, who are pure of both heart and body.
Their fantasies seldom extend beyond daring rescues of hapless maidens that earn them a kiss on the cheek. It's what happens when you raise an entire sect on wuxia novels. But the rumours perpetuate because everyone who's made a pass at them and been shot down LIED about it.
No one wants to be the ONLY PERSON who couldn't score with a Yunmeng Jiang boy! Who wants to confess that the "fun in the back hills" was actually shooting pheasants! And that the offer to "take on both of us" meant two-on-one SPARRING!
"They really are as uh, vigorous as the rumours say," a disciple would report, after the two-on-one sparring match leaves him bruised and limping for days.)
So yeah, every Mianmian and Yuandao have a cousin whose friend has a Yunmeng Jiang Boy Story.
So yeah, every Mianmian and Yuandao have a cousin whose friend has a Yunmeng Jiang Boy Story.
There's even one where a Yunmeng Jiang boy supposedly seduced away a bride from her own marital chambers! And then went back and debauched the groom!
Thus, when this year's Lan sect summer camp comes around, none of the cultivator boys are THAT excited, because. See above.
Thus, when this year's Lan sect summer camp comes around, none of the cultivator boys are THAT excited, because. See above.
Everyone knows that these "lectures" are just a marriage market where the throng of young men do their best to impress the much smaller group of young women--no easy task, when LXC swans around being himself at people, and LWJ does sword drills in the golden light of early dawn,
and WWX casts out clever words like fishing nets, and JC occasionally unbends enough to SMILE at people.
(JC did his homework, like a dutiful son, and came to the lectures with a prepared list of criteria for his future spouse. WWX didn't do his homework, to no one's surprise.)
(JC did his homework, like a dutiful son, and came to the lectures with a prepared list of criteria for his future spouse. WWX didn't do his homework, to no one's surprise.)
In fact, the only other person not fretting about failing in this most important of his filial duties and bringing eternal shame to his family is NHS, who's really just here to make friends. Preferably with the Yunmeng Jiang boys, since the Lans are stuffy and the Jins are Jins.
Armed with his best porn, he makes his overtures of friendship to WWX and JC. He's not expecting WWX to respond by inviting him to play😳in a special, secluded spot he found😳but NHS is not a coward!
He is a little confused, though, when he shows up and all they do is... fish.
He is a little confused, though, when he shows up and all they do is... fish.
Maybe the rumours about Yunmeng Jiang boys are NOT true?
And then WWX and JC return the porn he lent them.
"This wasn't bad," says WWX, who prefers sweeping romances and intricate plots. "The sex scenes got a bit repetitive though; do you have anything more... interesting?"
And then WWX and JC return the porn he lent them.
"This wasn't bad," says WWX, who prefers sweeping romances and intricate plots. "The sex scenes got a bit repetitive though; do you have anything more... interesting?"
Ah, NHS realizes. Clearly, he was too vanilla for WWX. He can respect that. "I'll do my best," he says, and makes a mental note to give him kinkier stuff next time.
JC, who only managed to blush his way through the first love confession before he had to stop, is more succinct.
JC, who only managed to blush his way through the first love confession before he had to stop, is more succinct.
"I don't read this mushy love stuff," he declares. "There's too much talking. I prefer ACTION to words."
😳, thinks NHS, scared AND turned on AND misinterpreting him entirely, and thus the Yunmeng Jiang boys' Reputation persists for yet another year.
😳, thinks NHS, scared AND turned on AND misinterpreting him entirely, and thus the Yunmeng Jiang boys' Reputation persists for yet another year.
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