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Ḟreyjạ

@utotranslucence

23 Jan

A good apology is one where you’ve paid attention to how what you did affected someone else, and you have reflected on it, and realised that you could only have acted that way, then, because of the ways you were limited at the time.

And that now you see clearly that there are different ways you could act, because of the person you can be now. You can imagine being in that situation now and responding in a different way, that takes their feelings and experience into account.

Asshole apology: I could have acted differently at the time, but I didn’t because it wasn’t important to me (I.e. you don’t matter to me)

Read 7 tweets

Ḟreyjạ

@utotranslucence

3 Jan

I've been doing the kinds of reflections you do at the changing of a year, and there's one thing in particular I would like for 2021. I'd like to finish more--ship more projects.

2020 was a year of learning to walk in a particular way--of learning to make decisions in my work and personal projects with a kind of authentic integrity that feels uniquely mine. And I did do that! But working this way last year was very slow. I'd like to make it faster.

I have 4-5 projects on my plate at any given time and an infinite number I could do. Some make money, some don't, some should but don't (!), some are artistic, some are more technical. Some scale, some don't.

Read 9 tweets

Ḟreyjạ

@utotranslucence

26 Dec 20

Slowthread of unqualified strong opinions:

To sing well you have to have had good sex

Men have lower back pain because our society controls anger and violence

Read 26 tweets

Ḟreyjạ

@utotranslucence

26 Nov 20

Everyone says they want ‘community’, but do they also want the endless social obligations, 3am crisis calls, constant attention to the trust between two people who aren’t you, hours spent on the phone hearing why one person is mad at another? And this is in a healthy community!

There’s also the agony of having put your faith in a group of people and watching that group crumble or the faith be unearned, the anxiety of new-group formation, the need to protect from people who will poison the well, & the self-doubt about whether you’re doing the right thing

Not saying you shouldn’t, but it feels like ‘community’ often has fantasy air-quotes around it and it’s held up as this angelic god-mother endless love space where you don’t also have actual work to do and sometimes feel threatened and alone.

It’s all part of the deal.

Read 8 tweets

Ḟreyjạ

@utotranslucence

26 Nov 20

I open Twitter. And I scroll. Maybe I’m hoping there will be something I find that starts thinking itself into my head, but my head is not really thought-y and it thinks all thoughts are wrong

I watch people I know in real life and people whose voices are just made up sounds in my head whose first names I’ve never heard squawk joyously and frustratedly and parade sex and triumph and pride all over the timeline

And I feel...not that? Not that any of it is bad, but I’m not there. I’m quiet, soft, internal—even the elderly Buddhists in my meditation book club zoom seem to be speaking too loud.

Read 23 tweets

Ḟreyjạ

@utotranslucence

21 Jul 20

I’ve run dozens of deep reading club sessions by now, and I’m kind of obsessed with the format. It’s doing something new and wonderful in a subtle way I want to try and explain.

Why deep reading clubs are fucking rad, a thread:

How a deep reading club works:

Someone chooses a book & invites a group to read it. You read together, aloud, taking the time it takes to read & absorb the text. You annotate the text together, then your annotations become the catalysts for whatever conversation comes next.

I run these using a hacky combo of Zoom and Google Docs. They are the kind of social activity that is actually a good fit for Zoom because you do naturally read a book while sitting still, so it doesn’t feel unnatural like a zoom party.

Read 25 tweets

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