Thread by @QuinnyPig

And now the Amazon Q4 results. Hmm, net sales are up, operating income is flat, and "we're not a PowerPoint company" is increasingly sounding like an excuse.

Talking about a lot of Amazon stuff. I really wish they had a cloud-specific earnings call so I could ignore the rest.

Boasting about reInvent and how rapidly @awscloud innovates. 180 releases over the three week span because someone over there HATES me.

And now questions. I wonder if the analysts will have any?

Goldman Sachs starts us off. "Can you help us break down the international acceleration by regions or initiatives?"

I see @GoldmanSachs doesn't hire for asking great questions, my god.

Now @UBS is at bat. "Fulfillment vs. logistics, how are you going to approach them in 2021 after last year's capacity constraints relax?"

I assume he's asking about Amazon Outposts.

JP Morgan's Doug was stuck on mute. Now came off of mute and has more questions about shipping packages.

True; we can't forget the Snow Family!

Man, can one of these financial analysts call me before the next one of these so I can seed some actually decent cloud questions?

I swear, they could disclose one quarter that @awscloud was about to launch a product to blow the moon out of the sky and the questions would all be about logistics and fulfillment over in Amazon Retail.

Holy shit. "@awscloud revenue growth accelerated but it doesn't show that on the financials because re:Invent was free. Usually we book ticket sales and sponsor revenue in Q4."

...they turn a profit on re:Invent.

"Jeff Wilke is also retiring; how should we expect any changes for retail. Is Dave Clarke taking over? And also why did @awscloud margins come down." YES.

1. "Succession planning is something the board takes seriously; it's an annual discussion around executive development. The byproduct of that as the S-team expands we have BU-specific CEOs (2)...

...Wilke had been here over 20 years, was super pivotal, helped develop others including Dave Clarke." Sings Jeff Wilke's praises a fair bit.

"Jeff Bezos isn't leaving, he's getting a new job as Executive Chair of the board." Yeah, good call. Jeff can finally drive Amazon's business strategy.

"We're excited to see @ajassy get new perspective and put his imprint on Amazon." Oh no Amazon Prime Manager Composite Manager?

Final question! It's... about shipping costs. Yeah, I was displeased to have to pay a shipping charge for my @awscloud SnowCone (motto: "this new Kindle is super heavy and kinda sucks").

And thus ends the call. Now Twitter returns to normal, journalists write their stories, and @awscloud employees loot @ajassy's soon-to-be-former office for mementos I presume.