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meghnad 🔗

3 Feb, 6 tweets, 2 min read

सुधीर जी का आज का स्क्रिप्ट भी लिख ही देते है:

"किसानो की अंतर्राष्ट्रीय षड़यंत्र का आज खुलासा हो चूका है. आइये करते है इसका DNA टेस्ट. आज हमने देखा की इंटरनेशनल सेलेब्रिटी Rihanna, जिसे गाना गाने के सिवा कुछ आता नहीं है, वो कैसे किसानो के बारे में बात करने लगी है."

"आप ही सोचिये. ये Rihanna जो की एक आलीशान बंगले में रहती है, जो की ऐसे वैसे गाने के वीडियो बनाती है, क्या उसे हमारे किसानो के पीड़ा का अंदाजा हो सकता है? ये जरूर भारत के खिलाफ एक षड़यंत्र की तरफ इशारा करता है."

"फिर चलते है Greta Thunberg की तरफ जो की महज़ एक बच्ची है जिसे पूरे विश्व ने सर पर चढ़ा रखा है. स्कूल जाने की उम्र में ये अलग अलग देशो में जाके गुस्से से 'How Dare You' कहती है, भाषणबाज़ी करती है. क्या इस क्लाइमेट एक्टिविस्ट की बाते हमें सुनने की जरूरत है?"

"क्या ये बच्ची को हमारे किसानो के बारे में ज्यादा पता है, या सरकार को? कांग्रेस के लोग और टुकड़े टुकड़े गैंग इनके ट्वीट देख उछल रहे है. लेकिन आप को पता है की ये लोग बस अपने देश के साथ छल करना जानते है."

"समझदारी की बात तो ये होगी की इन गाने वाले और चिल्लाने वाले इंटरनेशनल सेलिब्रिटीज का पूरी ताकत से विरोध करना चाहिए. और ये मुहीम आज हमारे सरकार ने चलायी है. इसी मुहीम में आज ज़ी न्यूज़ भी हिस्सा लेगा और #IndiaAgainstPropaganda पर ट्वीट करेगा. हम शुरवात से ही देश के साथ खड़े है."

Packaging instructions for producers:

"Play clips of Rihanna Music videos where she is wearing the most skimpy clothes and show farmers being violent from time to time."

Headline: "RIHANNA KA ASLI CHEHRA DIKHANA"

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More from @Memeghnad

meghnad 🔗

@Memeghnad

22 Jan

#storytime

So there is a news channel, a new kid on the block, which is trying to get ads for itself. When it launches, they are ranked #5 on viewership.

All the channels are doing stories on govt corruption & how a minister colluded to give kickbacks to a company.

Now the marketing dept of this new channel is like, "Yaar, we need to do something different. We need to do a story that nobody else is doing so that we rise in the ranks."

So they come up with a plan.

They do a test story on the health benefits of cigarettes.

WEEK 1:

The marketing department gathers around as the weekly ratings come out. To their surprise, they're at #4 now.

Marketing chap runs to editorial and tells them, "This story is doing great! Youguys, up the ante. Do more!"

Read 16 tweets

meghnad 🔗

@Memeghnad

18 Jan

@anukritimalik_

SCOOP: BARC hired a social media agency which allegedly offered services like "a troll army of verified handles".

#BARCleaks reveal how ex-CEO and ex-COO initiated trolling attacks against critics and journalists.

A story by me and @anukritimalik_
newslaundry.com/2021/01/18/bar…

INSTANCE #1

Ex-BARC CEO Partho Dasgupta asks Arnab Goswamy if he can get someone to troll a critic. He suggests Minhaz Merchant and Aditya Raj.

"Working" is what Arnab says.

@rahulkanwal

INSTANCE #2

Two tweets by @rahulkanwal are shared with a very specific request: "Ask Vikas to get him trolled."

That is immediately shared with Vikas by Romil Ramgarhia, ex-COO of BARC.

Who is this Vikas? Read the story people. 😆

Read 10 tweets

meghnad 🔗

@Memeghnad

15 Dec 20

One day, in a certain school, a notification was issued.

"ALL STUDENTS WILL MANDATORILY SHAVE THEIR HEADS AND WEAR BANDANAS WITH A SWASTIKA ON IT IN THE SCHOOL PREMISES."

Students and parents were like WTF just happened?

A delegation of parents tried to talk to the administration, telling them that it's unfair and they just cannot make such rules without consulting anyone.

The admin was like, "Oh it's alright we can discuss this."

"Discuss what," asked the parents.

Administration was like, "We can discuss the length of hair, the color of the bandana, when students have to wear it etc. We're damn flexible!"

"But that's not the point! We want this whole notification to be scrapped. It's complete bullocks!"

Admin:

Read 9 tweets

meghnad 🔗

@Memeghnad

5 Nov 20

Arnab is that babysitter who is hired when going to restaurants.

Whenever the child citizens start asking annoying questions to the adult government fam, they scream, "YOU HAD ONE JOB ARNAB! TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS!?!"

Then Arnab takes the kids to slide down the slide of bigotry.

After the kids are bored of the slide of bigotry, he'll make them get on the ideological see-saw.

After that, comes the sandpit of conspiracies where kids can make up their own fun theories.

Meanwhile, the adult govt fam are coming up with important plans like electoral bonds.

Every once in a while, Arnab will amuse the kids by telling em horror stories about how the children in this OTHER restaurant are absolute bullies, ugly and scary.

He tells them how the adult govt fam will take care of those horrible children & teach em a lesson.

Kids be like:

Read 4 tweets

meghnad 🔗

@Memeghnad

3 Nov 20

@tweets_prateekg

Sakal Media group -- owned by the Pawar family -- has been carrying out a relentless campaign of harassment against my colleague @tweets_prateekg.

Why?

Because he reported how they laid off their employees and violated government directives.
newslaundry.com/2020/11/03/how…

@tweets_prateekg

First, the Police showed up at his house to arrest him. They said @tweets_prateekg has 'cunningly' used Sakal's logo.

Next, after Prateek got anticipatory bail, they are trying to seize his laptop. They refuse to show him the order and say "verbal" order is enough to do so.

@tweets_prateekg

When @tweets_prateekg went to complete legal formalities, the SHO said, "You think you can damage Sakal? Sakal can buy 50 reporters like you. They are too big and you aren’t even a journalist. You don’t have a press like Sakal. What is Newslaundry, it is just an online thing.”

Read 5 tweets

meghnad 🔗

@Memeghnad

10 Oct 20

https://twitter.com/Advaidism/status/1314535861669650432

"You know what will fix this country? A dictator."

If you belong to a middle class upper caste family, you must have heard this line being uttered often.

You know why they say it so confidently?

Because the basic assumption is that this dictator is *always* on their side.

https://twitter.com/Advaidism/status/1314535861669650432

Those who say "need a dictator" think that they are the ones who are being good citizens while others aren't.

In their heads, the rowdy folk who lack discipline need to be "fixed" by using force.

This is a sign that the people who want dictatorship are ok with being slaves.

When you ask them, "alright so what do you think this dictator of yours should do to fix things?"

They'll be like, "Oh I don't know. But *somebody* will know. It's their job not mine. I toh just fill excel sheets all day."

So convenient, no?

Read 4 tweets

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